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The German Chainsaw Massacre – Movie Review

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Every now and then I like to educate people about German horror movies of the past and the present. And when I saw this movie, I had to review it.

About the Movie

Das Deutsche Kettensägenmassaker (also known as Blackest Heart) is an homage, or maybe more of a parody, of the 1974 movie The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, as you might see by the title alone. In 1990, shortly after the wall fell and the borders between eastern and western Germany opened, Clara kills her husband and flees to west Germany, ready to meet a friend there. Instead she meets an inbred cannibal family. Chaos ensues.

German Chainsaw Massacre Review

No idea why former German Chancellor Helmut Kohl is listed on this poster.

It’s written and directed by Christoph Schlingensief, who made this movie as part of his “German Trilogy”, after 100 Years of Adolf Hitler and before Terror 2000. The most notable actor to appear in this movie is Udo Kier as Jonny.

Its runtime is 63 minutes, and those 63 are more than enough.

Review

The German Chainsaw Massacre is a movie you have to see to believe. The first shot of the movie is of a woman cut in half, with her guts hanging out. It’s just a short flash, before the movie even starts. From the first scene everything just feels weird. Clara’s husband is played by a woman, masked as a man like you’d see it in a cheap theater production. Adding to that are many uses of the Dutch angle and other weird angles.

Later on we meet the family. One daughter is a lesbian, Margit, played by the same woman who played Clara’s husband. The other characters are just crazy and weird, Udo Kier at one point sets his hair on fire, running around the room singing “My hair is on fire”. That kind of crazy.

Blackest Heart movie Review

A young Udo Kier as Jonny (yes his hair is on fire)

The whole movie has an underground feeling to it, almost like a movie you shouldn’t be watching. Even though it is not scary, it surely is shocking and making you feel uncomfortable.

The gore is crazy. It is very cheap, but I feel it’s so cheap that they might have just used actual animal guts, which adds another level of creepy. The shot of the woman ripped in half is surely a gory highlight, and you get the full context of that shot later in the movie. But there are many more uses of gore, some not as good as others, but all in all still effective.

Final Thoughts

This movie is as much a horror movie as the Troma movies. It’s not scary, but excessive in gore and other taboo topics that make you feel uncomfortable instead of scared. It is cheaply made with some bad effects. But it still is interesting and worth a watch. Just know what you are getting into before you start it. It’s experimental film making mixed with strong social commentary.

If you like Troma or want to see something really out of the ordinary, or just plain weird, give The German Chainsaw Massacre a try.

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Trailer for ‘The Exorcism’ Has Russell Crowe Possessed

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The latest exorcism movie is about to drop this summer. It’s aptly titled The Exorcism and it stars Academy Award winner turned B-movie savant Russell Crowe. The trailer dropped today and by the looks of it, we are getting a possession movie that takes place on a movie set.

Just like this year’s recent demon-in-media-space film Late Night With the Devil, The Exorcism happens during a production. Although the former takes place on a live network talk show, the latter is on an active sound stage. Hopefully, it won’t be entirely serious and we’ll get some meta chuckles out of it.

The film will open in theaters on June 7, but since Shudder also acquired it, it probably won’t be long after that until it finds a home on the streaming service.

Crowe plays, “Anthony Miller, a troubled actor who begins to unravel while shooting a supernatural horror film. His estranged daughter, Lee (Ryan Simpkins), wonders if he’s slipping back into his past addictions or if there’s something more sinister at play. The film also stars Sam Worthington, Chloe Bailey, Adam Goldberg and David Hyde Pierce.”

Crowe did see some success in last year’s The Pope’s Exorcist mostly because his character was so over-the-top and infused with such comical hubris it bordered on parody. We will see if that is the route actor-turned-director Joshua John Miller takes with The Exorcism.

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Win a Stay at The Lizzie Borden House From Spirit Halloween

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lizzie borden house

Spirit Halloween has declared that this week marks the start of spooky season and to celebrate they are offering fans a chance to stay at the Lizzie Borden House with so many perks Lizzie herself would approve.

The Lizzie Borden House in Fall River, MA is claimed to be one of the most haunted houses in America. Of course one lucky winner and up to 12 of their friends will find out if the rumors are true if they win the grand prize: A private stay in the notorious house.

“We are delighted to work with Spirit Halloween to roll out the red carpet and offer the public a chance to win a one-of-a-kind experience at the infamous Lizzie Borden House, which also includes additional haunted experiences and merchandise,” said Lance Zaal, President & Founder of US Ghost Adventures.

Fans can enter to win by following Spirit Halloween‘s Instagram and leaving a comment on the contest post from now through April 28.

Inside the Lizzie Borden House

The prize also includes:

An exclusive guided house tour, including insider insight around the murder, the trial, and commonly reported hauntings

A late-night ghost tour, complete with professional ghost-hunting gear

A private breakfast in the Borden family dining room

A ghost hunting starter kit with two pieces of Ghost Daddy Ghost Hunting Gear and a lesson for two at US Ghost Adventures Ghost Hunting Course

The ultimate Lizzie Borden gift package, featuring an official hatchet, the Lizzie Borden board game, Lily the Haunted Doll, and America’s Most Haunted Volume II

Winner’s choice of a Ghost Tour experience in Salem or a True Crime experience in Boston for two

“Our Halfway to Halloween celebration provides fans an exhilarating taste of what’s to come this fall and empowers them to start planning for their favorite season as early as they please,” said Steven Silverstein, CEO of Spirit Halloween. “We have cultivated an incredible following of enthusiasts who embody the Halloween lifestyle, and we’re thrilled to bring the fun back to life.”

Spirit Halloween is also preparing for their retail haunted houses. On Thursday, August 1 their flagship store in Egg Harbor Township, NJ. will officially open to start off the season. That event usually draws in hordes of people eager to see what new merch, animatronics, and exclusive IP goods will be trending this year.

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’28 Years Later’ Trilogy Taking Shape With Serious Star Power

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28 years later

Danny Boyle is revisiting his 28 Days Later universe with three new films. He will direct the first, 28 Years Later, with two more to follow. Deadline is reporting that sources say Jodie Comer, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, and Ralph Fiennes have been cast for the first entry, a sequel to the original. Details are being kept under wraps so we don’t know how or if the first original sequel 28 Weeks Later fits into the project.

Jodie Comer, Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Ralph Fiennes

Boyle will direct the first movie but it’s unclear which role he will take on in the subsequent films. What is known is Candyman (2021) director Nia DaCosta is scheduled to direct the second film in this trilogy and that the third will be filmed immediately afterward. Whether DaCosta will direct both is still unclear.

Alex Garland is writing the scripts. Garland is having a successful time at the box office right now. He wrote and directed the current action/thriller Civil War which was just knocked out of the theatrical top spot by Radio Silence’s Abigail.

There is no word yet on when, or where, 28 Years Later will start production.

28 Days Later

The original film followed Jim (Cillian Murphy) who wakes from a coma to find that London is currently dealing with a zombie outbreak.

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