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Review: BLAIR WITCH

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In the Summer of 1999, The Blair Witch Project hit theaters and took the world by storm. This shoe-string budgeted found footage horror movie was a critical and box-office smash that kicked off a new wave of ‘recovered’ horror movies. As a kid, I was too young to see the ‘R’ rated hike through the Black Hills myself, but, I didn’t need to when the phenomenon hit from all sides. The Blair Witch Project was a true viral marketing success, utilizing the power of the internet and word of mouth to hook audiences into what many believed was a true story.

I distinctly remember seeing the surrounding documentary, The Curse Of The Blair Witch on the Sci-Fi channel. Setting up the foundation of the surrounding legends and tales of the titular Witch. A mythos that led to several books, video games and a panned direct sequel, Book Of Shadows: Blair Witch 2. The response was enough that plans for anymore sequels were seemingly halted for good. But now, sixteen years after the last film entry in the franchise, we’re going back into the Black Hills of Maryland with the simply titled Blair Witch.

Perhaps one of the most shocking releases this year, if only because of the secrecy and delivery of this entry in the franchise. Stealthily titled The Woods initially, the project was billed as a brand new tale of terror from the director/writer duo of Adam Wingard and Simon Barrett of You’re Next, The Guest, and V/H/S fame. Only for the bombshell announcement at San Diego Comic-Con that it was in fact a continuation of the landmark film.

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Directly linked to the original, the plot follows James Donahue, younger brother to protagonist of the original, Heather Donahue. When strange footage of the house from the first movie is uploaded online, claimed to be from footage found in the Black Hills, James enlists a few of his friends to go into the woods, and see if there are any clues to his sister’s twenty two year long disappearance. Armed with modern, high tech cameras and equipment, will they be able to solve the mysteries of the Blair Witch or vanish like so many before them?

Now, there are many distinct elements and specifics to Blair Witch I feel are better left unsaid. The more blind you are before going in, the better the experience you will have, so this review will be as spoiler free as possible.

To the point; is it scary? This movie gave me nightmares, so hell yes it is scary. The key to its success were on many different fronts. For one, as opposed to Book Of Shadows, Blair Witch returned to the found footage format, but with the addition of today’s modern technology. Go-pros, drones, GPS, and more are used, and make for some unique scenes capturing the weirdness of the woods and the utter despair of the crew. Plus, easier to justify filming everything when the cameras are tiny and can be worn quite easily.

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One thing that had been often criticized with the original was the slow pacing bordering on tedious. Several friends even telling me they only made it halfway through before calling it quits! Blair Witch does not suffer from this problem. Once our wayward heroes make it into the woods, audiences will be hooked in, if only to see what will happen next. There are many homages to the famous scares of the original, from the stick figures and noises in the woods, but with plenty of content that adds to the mythos.

It will be debated whether this entry is equal, if even superior to, the original. While I won’t be discussing that today, I will say that it is leaps and bounds a satisfactory horror movie. This is by no means a “remake” or “retread”. While it may walk familiar ground, Blair Witch sprints screaming beyond anything in the mythology that came before it. And with a larger budget, Wingard and Barrett were able to create some frightening scenes that wouldn’t have been possible for TBWP, but thankfully without becoming FX reliant. The tension building is near flawless, and when it hits the breaking point, it breaks hard.

I cannot recommend this enough. Either as fans of the original, or looking for a seriously good scare this Fall, see Blair Witch, opening this Friday, September 16th!

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Another Creepy Spider Movie Hits Shudder This Month

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Good spider films are a theme this year. First, we had Sting and then there was Infested. The former is still in theaters and the latter is coming to Shudder starting April 26.

Infested has been getting some good reviews. People are saying that it’s not only a great creature feature but also a social commentary on racism in France.

According to IMDb: Writer/director Sébastien Vanicek was looking for ideas around the discrimination faced by black and Arab-looking people in France, and that led him to spiders, which are rarely welcome in homes; whenever they’re spotted, they’re swatted. As everyone in the story (people and spiders) is treated like vermin by society, the title came to him naturally.

Shudder has become the gold standard for streaming horror content. Since 2016, the service has been offering fans an expansive library of genre movies. in 2017, they began to stream exclusive content.

Since then Shudder has become a powerhouse in the film festival circuit, buying distribution rights to movies, or just producing some of their own. Just like Netflix, they give a film a short theatrical run before adding it to their library exclusively for subscribers.

Late Night With the Devil is a great example. It was released theatrically on March 22 and will begin streaming on the platform starting April 19.

While not getting the same buzz as Late Night, Infested is a festival favorite and many have said if you suffer from arachnophobia, you might want to take heed before watching it.

Infested

According to the synopsis, our main character, Kalib is turning 30 and dealing with some family issues. “He’s fighting with his sister over an inheritance and has cut ties with his best friend. Fascinated by exotic animals, he finds a venomous spider in a shop and brings it back to his apartment. It only takes a moment for the spider to escape and reproduce, turning the whole building into a dreadful web trap. The only option for Kaleb and his friends is to find a way out and survive.”

The film will be available to watch on Shudder starting April 26.

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Part Concert, Part Horror Movie M. Night Shyamalan’s ‘Trap’ Trailer Released

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In true Shyamalan form, he sets his film Trap inside a social situation where we aren’t sure what is going on. Hopefully, there is a twist at the end. Furthermore, we hope it’s better than the one in his divisive 2021 movie Old.

The trailer seemingly gives away a lot, but, as in the past, you can’t rely on his trailers because they are often red herrings and you are being gaslit to think a certain way. For instance, his movie Knock at the Cabin was completely different than what the trailer implied and if you hadn’t read the book on which the film is based it was still like going in blind.

The plot for Trap is being dubbed an “experience” and we aren’t quite sure what that means. If we were to guess based on the trailer, it’s a concert movie wrapped around a horror mystery. There are original songs performed by Saleka, who plays Lady Raven, a kind of Taylor Swift/Lady Gaga hybrid. They have even set up a Lady Raven website to further the illusion.

Here is the fresh trailer:

According to the synopsis, a father takes his daughter to one of Lady Raven’s jam-packed concerts, “where they realize they’re at the center of a dark and sinister event.”

Written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan, Trap stars Josh Hartnett, Ariel Donoghue, Saleka Shyamalan, Hayley Mills and Allison Pill. The film is produced by Ashwin Rajan, Marc Bienstock and M. Night Shyamalan. The executive producer is Steven Schneider.

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Woman Brings Corpse Into Bank To Sign Loan Papers

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Warning: This is a disturbing story.

You have to be pretty desperate for money to do what this Brazilian woman did at the bank to get a loan. She wheeled in a fresh corpse to endorse the contract and she seemingly thought the bank employees wouldn’t notice. They did.

This weird and disturbing story comes via ScreenGeek an entertainment digital publication. They write that a woman identified as Erika de Souza Vieira Nunes pushed a man she identified as her uncle into the bank pleading with him to sign loan papers for $3,400. 

If you’re squeamish or easily triggered, be aware that the video captured of the situation is disturbing. 

Latin America’s largest commercial network, TV Globo, reported on the crime, and according to ScreenGeek this is what Nunes says in Portuguese during the attempted transaction. 

“Uncle, are you paying attention? You must sign [the loan contract]. If you don’t sign, there’s no way, as I cannot sign on your behalf!”

She then adds: “Sign so you can spare me further headaches; I can’t bear it any longer.” 

At first we thought this might be a hoax, but according to Brazilian police, the uncle, 68-year-old Paulo Roberto Braga had passed away earlier that day.

 “She attempted to feign his signature for the loan. He entered the bank already deceased,” Police Chief Fábio Luiz said in an interview with TV Globo. “Our priority is to continue investigating to identify other family members and gather more information regarding this loan.”

If convicted Nunes could be facing jail time on charges of fraud, embezzlement, and desecration of a corpse.

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