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Move Over Krampus, Jesus Easter Bunny is Officially the Scariest Holiday Monster.. Ever

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The beautiful collaboration between the horror genre and holiday films is something you don’t have to look far to find. As a matter of fact, just about every Hallmark holiday we celebrate, we can find a horror movie that takes on the setting of said observant day. From New Year’s Evil, to Leprechaun, Krampus, and duh, John Carpenter’s Halloween, the genre gives us horror fans something to watch on those lazy days off from work, as we plop our asses in that comfortable indented Lazy Boy and observe these national holidays our way. And just as the genre of Holiday Horror has given us some of the best horror films this side of the nuthouse, the horror category has also given us some of the genre’s most unsettling monsters that we’ve ever seen on film- like the Jesus Easter Bunny.

 

All aboard the FUCK NO train to Easter Town!

With all the holiday horror films the genre has to offer up, Easter horror movies are pretty much slim to none, unless you’re looking deep within the Independent circuit which boasts such titles as Easter Sunday, and Beaster Day: Here Comes Peter CottonHell– seriously, check out these B-movie gems if you enjoy a good cheese-fest. However, when 2016’s horror anthology Holidays peaked its gory good-time head out into the public, we finally got the Easter horror we all goddamn deserve. Even if it’s just a segment within an anthology series, Holidays’ Easter spoonful of horror goodness directed by Nicolas McCarthy nails it like a successful crucifixion. The short story delivers in forever traumatizing your image of that cuddly pest that drops shit mounds of jelly beans in your yard with a clever story along with the scariest fuckin’ bunny I’ve ever seen in my damn life.

The Easter segment from Holidays combines both the religious aspect and fantasy that is the Spring holiday by infusing the Messiah and a rabbit into one hideous creation that is portrayed by Stranger Things own Demogorgon, Mark Steger. Steger’s mannerisms of a bunny from beyond are truly the stuff of nightmares as the story goes, a young girl happens to catch the Easter Bunny at work in her home, but instead of this bunny hiding eggs, the kiddo terrifyingly watches as this creature sprouts chicklets from its stigmata wounds. Just.. Holy fucks..

The Jees-ter Bunny catches wind that he is being watched and comes to face to bunny nose with the little onlooker, and the holiday icon commences to creep the shit out of the little girl by making her stick her fingers inside his rib wounds. Jesus bunny Christ, disturbing is really putting it mildly.

The short story even incorporates the religious ritual of partaking from the body of Christ when Jesus Cottontail informs the child that no one has ever laid eyes upon him, and in her doing so, requires her to take his place. The haunting rabbit then takes an Easter egg, instructs her to open her jaws, and places the egg in her mouth as some sort of rite of passage into becoming the legit Easter bunny.

If you’ve yet to see the segment, or hell the whole Holidays anthology yet, I urge you to skip the clip below and watch not only this portion in its entirety, but the full movie along with it which is currently streaming on Netflix. However, for those familiar but need a refresher, I give you an Easter treat packaged with nightmare fuel for days. Also, unless you kind of hate your kids, I would steer clear of letting them watch this.

 

So yeah, it’s fairly obvious here that Jesus Easter Bunny takes the thorned crown as holiday horror king for creepiest holiday monster. I may never look at bunnies the same way again, and unless you’ve seen Watership Down, you won’t either.

 

Happy Easter from iHorror!

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Another Creepy Spider Movie Hits Shudder This Month

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Good spider films are a theme this year. First, we had Sting and then there was Infested. The former is still in theaters and the latter is coming to Shudder starting April 26.

Infested has been getting some good reviews. People are saying that it’s not only a great creature feature but also a social commentary on racism in France.

According to IMDb: Writer/director Sébastien Vanicek was looking for ideas around the discrimination faced by black and Arab-looking people in France, and that led him to spiders, which are rarely welcome in homes; whenever they’re spotted, they’re swatted. As everyone in the story (people and spiders) is treated like vermin by society, the title came to him naturally.

Shudder has become the gold standard for streaming horror content. Since 2016, the service has been offering fans an expansive library of genre movies. in 2017, they began to stream exclusive content.

Since then Shudder has become a powerhouse in the film festival circuit, buying distribution rights to movies, or just producing some of their own. Just like Netflix, they give a film a short theatrical run before adding it to their library exclusively for subscribers.

Late Night With the Devil is a great example. It was released theatrically on March 22 and will begin streaming on the platform starting April 19.

While not getting the same buzz as Late Night, Infested is a festival favorite and many have said if you suffer from arachnophobia, you might want to take heed before watching it.

Infested

According to the synopsis, our main character, Kalib is turning 30 and dealing with some family issues. “He’s fighting with his sister over an inheritance and has cut ties with his best friend. Fascinated by exotic animals, he finds a venomous spider in a shop and brings it back to his apartment. It only takes a moment for the spider to escape and reproduce, turning the whole building into a dreadful web trap. The only option for Kaleb and his friends is to find a way out and survive.”

The film will be available to watch on Shudder starting April 26.

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Part Concert, Part Horror Movie M. Night Shyamalan’s ‘Trap’ Trailer Released

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In true Shyamalan form, he sets his film Trap inside a social situation where we aren’t sure what is going on. Hopefully, there is a twist at the end. Furthermore, we hope it’s better than the one in his divisive 2021 movie Old.

The trailer seemingly gives away a lot, but, as in the past, you can’t rely on his trailers because they are often red herrings and you are being gaslit to think a certain way. For instance, his movie Knock at the Cabin was completely different than what the trailer implied and if you hadn’t read the book on which the film is based it was still like going in blind.

The plot for Trap is being dubbed an “experience” and we aren’t quite sure what that means. If we were to guess based on the trailer, it’s a concert movie wrapped around a horror mystery. There are original songs performed by Saleka, who plays Lady Raven, a kind of Taylor Swift/Lady Gaga hybrid. They have even set up a Lady Raven website to further the illusion.

Here is the fresh trailer:

According to the synopsis, a father takes his daughter to one of Lady Raven’s jam-packed concerts, “where they realize they’re at the center of a dark and sinister event.”

Written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan, Trap stars Josh Hartnett, Ariel Donoghue, Saleka Shyamalan, Hayley Mills and Allison Pill. The film is produced by Ashwin Rajan, Marc Bienstock and M. Night Shyamalan. The executive producer is Steven Schneider.

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Woman Brings Corpse Into Bank To Sign Loan Papers

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Warning: This is a disturbing story.

You have to be pretty desperate for money to do what this Brazilian woman did at the bank to get a loan. She wheeled in a fresh corpse to endorse the contract and she seemingly thought the bank employees wouldn’t notice. They did.

This weird and disturbing story comes via ScreenGeek an entertainment digital publication. They write that a woman identified as Erika de Souza Vieira Nunes pushed a man she identified as her uncle into the bank pleading with him to sign loan papers for $3,400. 

If you’re squeamish or easily triggered, be aware that the video captured of the situation is disturbing. 

Latin America’s largest commercial network, TV Globo, reported on the crime, and according to ScreenGeek this is what Nunes says in Portuguese during the attempted transaction. 

“Uncle, are you paying attention? You must sign [the loan contract]. If you don’t sign, there’s no way, as I cannot sign on your behalf!”

She then adds: “Sign so you can spare me further headaches; I can’t bear it any longer.” 

At first we thought this might be a hoax, but according to Brazilian police, the uncle, 68-year-old Paulo Roberto Braga had passed away earlier that day.

 “She attempted to feign his signature for the loan. He entered the bank already deceased,” Police Chief Fábio Luiz said in an interview with TV Globo. “Our priority is to continue investigating to identify other family members and gather more information regarding this loan.”

If convicted Nunes could be facing jail time on charges of fraud, embezzlement, and desecration of a corpse.

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