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Theatrical Review: The Quiet Ones

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Found footage movies about demonic possession; they’ve been absolutely done to death and ran into the ground over the course of the last several years, and I personally have grown so tired of this particular sub-genre that I often wonder if I’m seeing these movies because I want to see them or simply because I feel obligated to review them. Truth be told, I’m leaning more towards the latter.

That being said, a good movie is a good movie, whether it’s a sequel, a remake, or a rehashing of tired, overplayed ideas, and though The Quiet Ones is in many ways a regurgitation of things we’ve seen many times before, it’s nevertheless a pretty good movie. Well, it’s half good, at least.

Very loosely based on the real-life Philip Experiment of the 1970s, where a group of Canadian parapsychologists attempted to quite literally create a poltergeist, The Quiet Ones is the latest effort from legendary British production company Hammer Films.

Jared Harris stars as an unconventional professor in the 70s-set film, who tasks himself with treating a disturbed young girl (Olivia Cooke), believing that her negative energy has resulted in the manifestation of a supernatural entity that doesn’t really exist. Along with a ragtag team of students, he intends on coaxing the fictitious entity out of her body, hopeful that doing so will cure her mental illness – and mental illness the world over. Or something like that.

As far as movies of this sort go, The Quiet Ones has a fairly unique and original set-up, which is what piqued my interest right out of the gate. While I wouldn’t exactly call it a breath of fresh air, the concept is fresh enough within the realm of possession movies that it at least feels like you’re watching something you haven’t seen before – and that goes a long way, in the wake of us horror fans being hammered over the head with the same movies over and over again. No pun intended. With the hammer thing.

Like most of Hammer’s recent output, including films like Wake Wood and The Woman in Black, The Quiet Ones is fairly elegant and wonderfully restrained in the early going, with a focus on story over the gimmicks of either found footage or paranormal possession cinema. A considerable amount of time passes before anything really happens, which allows us to get to know the characters and immerse ourselves into the atmosphere of the proceedings. And though that may sound boring to some, it’s in these relatively uneventful spans of time that The Quiet Ones really shines, and is at its absolute best.

For at least the first hour of the film, I found myself incredibly invested in the characters and engaged by the story, which is largely thanks to stellar performances from all the actors, most notably Jared Harris and Olivia Cooke. Though you may not know his name I can almost guarantee you’ll recognize Harris’ face, and his performance as the controversial professor who’s frighteningly set in his ways is worth the price of admission alone. He’s good. He’s damn good.

As for Olivia Cooke, who you may know from Bates Motel, she’s equally impressive as the disturbed Jane Harper, who is possessed by the spirit of a deceased child named Evey – or thinks she is, at least. Cooke is at times terrifying and at others very much likable, and the character of Jane Harper is without a doubt one of the more memorable possessed young girls in the recent history of movies about possessed young girls. She’s never too far gone that you feel like there’s no going back and I found myself really rooting for her and hoping she would be cured, which is something I can’t remember feeling about other recent characters of the sort. Above all else, she felt real, which is again kudos to Cooke’s acting chops.

As a whole, the dynamic of the five-person group is highly interesting, and the script smartly puts all the focus on them, rather than bringing unnecessary additional characters into the mix. There’s a whole lot going on there, from ulterior motives to potential love stories and secretive affairs, and a large portion of what made the film so compelling, for me, was that dysfunctional family-like dynamic of the group. The importance of interesting characters can never be overstated, and The Quiet Ones has definitely got them.

The problems with the film almost exclusively arise when it stops being itself and tries to be other movies, and The Quiet Ones, unfortunately, spends a little too much time playing around with the tropes of found footage cinema. The film isn’t entirely told through the found footage style but a good portion of the action is relayed to us via the handheld camera of one of the main characters, which was ultimately a totally unnecessary decision, and a thinly veiled attempt to take advantage of the seemingly undying popularity of that storytelling gimmick.

But it wasn’t really the POV style that bothered me so much as it was the way the film played it so safe whenever the handheld camera was documenting the action, as it ultimately devolves into ‘Found Footage 101’ territory. Whenever anything paranormal actually happened, I found myself tuning out and losing interest, because all of that stuff felt so similar to things I’ve seen in the past. It’s a shame, really, because for the majority of the film it’s much smarter than one that needs to resort to copycat chills and generic thrills, and I really got the sense that the studio felt pressured to throw in certain scenes and moments for the sake of a good trailer and mainstream audience appeal.

It’s interesting because, throughout much of the film, the ‘scary’ moments almost feel like they were crow-barred in after the fact, due to the way that they always quickly cut back to the more interesting, character-driven stuff, just as things are really about to happen. It was as if the movie wasn’t sure if it wanted to be a generic found footage flick or something more interesting, and unfortunately, it heads very much into the former territory in the latter portions, with the interesting bits thrown out in favor of a totally by the numbers conclusion that unnecessarily shows and tells us way too much. A bit more restraint would’ve gone a long way with this film, as it’s oftentimes better to leave the audience guessing, rather than laying everything out for us.

Sometimes, all it takes is a slight spin on the proceedings to make a movie interesting, and The Quiet Ones‘ scientific approach to the idea of spirits, demons, and possession is interesting enough to make it stand out from the pack. The typical strange symbols, loud noises, cheap jump scares, CG’ed demon faces and even a creepy doll are all on display in the film, but it’s also got enough good going for it that it’s one of the more effective and interesting theatrical horror movies to come along in the last couple years.

Despite the fact that The Quiet Ones all too often feels more like a Blumhouse film than a Hammer one, it’s oozing with enough Hammer style that it’s worth a watch, even if you’re completely sick and tired of everything it seems to be about. Believe me, I am too, which is why I give this one a whole lot of credit for entertaining me and keeping my interest. It’s not all good, but it’s good enough, and that makes it worthy of my recommendation.

Hey, look at that. A modern-day theatrical horror flick that I didn’t totally hate… that’s a new one, eh?!

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‘Skinwalkers: American Werewolves 2’ is Packed with Cryptid Tales [Movie Review]

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The Skinwalkers Werewolves

As a longtime werewolf enthusiast, I’m immediately drawn to anything featuring the word “werewolf”. Adding Skinwalkers into the mix? Now, you’ve truly captured my interest. Needless to say, I was thrilled to check out Small Town Monsters’ new documentary ‘Skinwalkers: American Werewolves 2’. Below is the synopsis:

“Across the four corners of the American Southwest, there is said to exist an ancient, supernatural evil that preys on the fear of its victims to gain greater power. Now, witnesses lift the veil on the most terrifying encounters with modern-day werewolves ever heard. These stories intertwine legends of upright canids with hellhounds, poltergeists, and even the mythical Skinwalker, promising true terror.”

The Skinwalkers: American Werewolves 2

Centered around shapeshifting and told through firsthand accounts from the Southwest, the film brims with chilling stories. (Note: iHorror has not independently verified any claims made in the film.) These narratives are the heart of the film’s entertainment value. Despite the mostly basic backdrops and transitions—notably lacking in special effects—the film maintains a steady pace, thanks largely to its focus on witness accounts.

While the documentary lacks concrete evidence to support the tales, it remains a captivating watch, especially for cryptid enthusiasts. Skeptics may not be converted, but the stories are intriguing.

After watching, am I convinced? Not entirely. Did it make me question my reality for a while? Absolutely. And isn’t that, after all, part of the fun?

‘Skinwalkers: American Werewolves 2’ is now available on VOD and Digital HD, with Blu-ray and DVD formats offered exclusively by Small Town Monsters.

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Movie Reviews

‘Slay’ is Wonderful, It’s Like if ‘From Dusk Till Dawn’ Met ‘Too Wong Foo’

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Slay Horror Movie

Before you dismiss Slay as a gimmick, we can tell you, it is. But it’s a damn good one. 

Four drag queens are mistakenly booked at a stereotypical biker bar in the desert where they have to combat bigots…and vampires. You read that right. Think, Too Wong Foo at the Titty Twister. Even if you don’t get those references, you will still have a good time.

Before you sashay away from this Tubi offering, here is why you shouldn’t. It’s surprisingly funny and manages to have a few scary moments along the way. It’s a midnight movie at its core and if those bookings were still a thing, Slay would probably have a successful run. 

The premise is simple, again, four drag queens played by Trinity the Tuck, Heidi N Closet, Crystal Methyd, and Cara Mell find themselves at a biker bar unaware that an alpha vampire is on the loose in the woods and has already bitten one of the townsfolk. The turned man makes his way to the old roadside saloon and begins turning the patrons into the undead right in the middle of the drag show. The queens, along with the local barflies, barricade themselves inside the bar and must defend themselves against the growing hoard outside.

“Slay”

The contrast between the denim and leather of the bikers, and the ball gowns and Swarovski crystals of the queens, is a sight gag I can appreciate. During the whole ordeal, none of the queens gets out of costume or sheds their drag personas except at the beginning. You forget they have other lives outside of their costumes.

All four of the leading ladies have had their time on Ru Paul’s Drag Race, But Slay is a lot more polished than a Drag Race acting challenge, and the leads elevate the camp when called for and tone it down when necessary. It is a well-balanced scale of comedy and horror.

Trinity the Tuck is primed with one-liners and double entendres which rat-a-tat from her mouth in gleeful succession. It’s not a cringy screenplay so every joke lands naturally with a required beat and professional timing.

There is one questionable joke made by a biker about who comes from Transylvania and it isn’t the highest brow but it doesn’t feel like punching down either. 

This might be the guiltiest pleasure of the year! It’s hilarious! 

Slay

Heidi N Closet is surprisingly well cast. It’s not that it’s surprising to see she can act, it’s just most people know her from Drag Race which doesn’t allow much range. Comically she’s on fire. In one scene she flips her hair behind her ear with a large baguette and then uses it as a weapon. The garlic, you see. It’s surprises like that that make this film so charming. 

The weaker actor here is Methyd who plays the dimwitted Bella Da Boys. Her creaky performance shaves a little off the rhythm but the other ladies take up her slack so it just becomes part of the chemistry.

Slay has some great special effects too. Despite using CGI blood, none of them take you out of the element. Some great work went into this movie from everyone involved.

The vampire rules are the same, stake through the heart, sunlight., etc. But what’s really neat is when the monsters are killed, they explode into a glitter-tinted dust cloud. 

It’s just as fun and silly as any Robert Rodriguez movie with probably a quarter of his budget. 

Director Jem Garrard keeps everything going at a rapid pace. She even throws in a dramatic twist which is played with as much seriousness as a soap opera, but it does pack a punch thanks to Trinity and Cara Melle. Oh, and they manage to squeeze in a message about hate during it all. Not a smooth transition but even the lumps in this film are made of buttercream.

Another twist, handled much more delicately is better thanks to veteran actor Neil Sandilands. I’m not going to spoil anything but let’s just say there are plenty of twists and, ahem, turns, which all add to the fun. 

Robyn Scott who plays barmaid Shiela is the standout comedian here. Her lines and gusto provide the most belly laughs. There should be a special award for her performance alone.

Slay is a delicious recipe with just the right amount of camp, gore, action, and originality. It’s the best horror comedy to come along in a while.

It’s no secret that independent films have to do a lot more for less. When they are this good it’s a reminder that big studios could be doing better.

With movies like Slay, every penny counts and just because the paychecks might be smaller it doesn’t mean the final product has to be. When the talent puts this much effort into a film, they deserve more, even if that recognition comes in the form of a review. Sometimes smaller movies like Slay have hearts too big for an IMAX screen.

And that’s the tea. 

You can stream Slay on Tubi right now.

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Review: Is There ‘No Way Up’ For This Shark Film?

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A flock of birds flies into the jet engine of a commercial airliner making it crash into the ocean with only a handful of survivors tasked with escaping the sinking plane while also enduring depleting oxygen and nasty sharks in No Way Up. But does this low-budget film rise above its shopworn monster trope or sink beneath the weight of its shoestring budget?

First, this film obviously isn’t on the level of another popular survival film, Society of the Snow, but surprisingly it isn’t Sharknado either. You can tell a lot of good direction went into making it and its stars are up for the task. The histrionics are kept at a bare minimum and unfortunately the same can be said about the suspense. That isn’t to say that No Way Up is a limp noodle, there is plenty here to keep you watching until the end, even if the last two minutes is offensive to your suspension of disbelief.

Let’s start with the good. No Way Up has plenty of good acting, especially from its lead Sophie McIntosh who plays Ava, a rich governor’s daughter with a heart of gold. Inside, she is struggling with the memory of her mother’s drowning and is never far from her overprotective older bodyguard Brandon played with nannyish diligence by Colm Meaney. McIntosh doesn’t reduce herself to the size of a B-movie, she is fully committed and gives a strong performance even if the material is trodden.

No Way Up

Another standout is Grace Nettle playing the 12-year-old Rosa who is traveling with her grandparents Hank (James Caroll Jordan) and Mardy (Phyllis Logan). Nettle doesn’t reduce her character to a delicate tween. She’s scared yes, but she also has some input and pretty good advice about surviving the situation.

Will Attenborough plays the unfiltered Kyle who I imagine was there for comic relief, but the young actor never successfully tempers his meanness with nuance, therefore he just comes across as a die-cut archetypical asshole inserted to complete the diverse ensemble.

Rounding out the cast is Manuel Pacific who plays Danilo the flight attendant who is the mark of Kyle’s homophobic aggressions. That whole interaction feels a bit outdated, but again Attenborough hasn’t fleshed out his character well enough to warrant any.

No Way Up

Continuing on with what is good in the film are the special effects. The plane crash scene, as they always are, is terrifying and realistic. Director Claudio Fäh has spared no expense in that department. You have seen it all before, but here, since you know they are crashing into the Pacific it’s more tense and when the plane hits the water you’ll wonder how they did it.

As for the sharks they are equally impressive. It’s hard to tell if they used live ones. There are no hints of CGI, no uncanny valley to speak of and the fish are genuinely threatening, although they don’t get the screentime you might be expecting.

Now with the bad. No Way Up is a great idea on paper, but the reality is something like this couldn’t happen in real life, especially with a jumbo jet crashing into the Pacific Ocean at such a fast speed. And even though the director has successfully made it seem like it could happen, there are so many factors that just don’t make sense when you think about it. Underwater air pressure is the first to come to mind.

It also lacks a cinematic polish. It has this straight-to-video feel, but the effects are so good that you can’t help but feel the cinematography, especially inside the plane should have been slightly elevated. But I’m being pedantic, No Way Up is a good time.

The ending doesn’t quite live up to the film’s potential and you will be questioning the limits of the human respiratory system, but again, that’s nitpicking.

Overall, No Way Up is a great way to spend an evening watching a survival horror movie with the family. There are some bloody images, but nothing too bad, and the shark scenes can be mildly intense. It is rated R on the low end.

No Way Up might not be the “next great shark” movie, but it is a thrilling drama that rises above the other chum so easily thrown into the waters of Hollywood thanks to the dedication of its stars and believable special effects.

No Way Up is now available to rent on digital platforms.

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