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Happy Father’s Day with Tales From the Crypt Most F*cked Up Episode Ever!

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Written by Patti Pauley

Father’s Day is upon us once again where we celebrate the initial life-sparker of our little existences. And throughout the genre when it comes to horror films, evil paternal units are an abundant source for the center of storytelling. From Jack Torrance to Jerry Blake, the visual of a father gone insane is something we’ve seen time and again in the past few decades of the horror movie. And somehow, it just never get’s old.

If you’ve never seen this particular episode, SKIP THE ARTICLE and scroll down to the video. *MASSIVE SPOILER ALERT.

We all remember films like The Stepfather and Creepshow honoring thy father in the most twisted ways imaginable. However, as cringing as the psychological terror that fuels such movies, HBO’s Tales From the Crypt gave us the most fucked up primetime spectacle touching on the subject of fatherhood I had ever seen on the small screen. Albeit the whole father bit was the surprise twist in the end, but that’s what makes it SOO messed up.

The second season of the largely popular late-night program hosted by the faithfully ghoulish Crypt Keeper gave us consistently amazing episodes one after another, and the tale of terror in question here “Three’s A Crowd”, was no exception to both awesomeness and cringe-worthy midnight viewings.

“Three’s a Crowd” revolves around husband and wife Richard and Della’s strained marriage and an effort to repair what was once a fairy tale romance. Richard is slowly spiraling into a life of alcoholism and depression due to money issues and the couple’s ongoing troubles with conceiving a child. In his convoluted mind, Richard has the nagging thought that he’s loving wife will leave him due to his low sperm count. So he pours the booze as a band-aid to his troubles and giving him an even shittier attitude on top of it.  Richard’s negative outlook on life is beyond soul sucking and quite frankly, it frustrates the hell out of me how Della didn’t just cave and tell her of her plans from the beginning. But of course, where’s the fun in that right?

Moving on, Richard and Della’s old successful friend Alan treats the pair to a lovely getaway to celebrate the pair’s anniversary. While Della is trying to make the most of it, Richard is flinging accusations that his old, and now rich friend Alan and his wife are having an affair. The suspicion is only ignited even further when Alan and Della sneak off together multiple times… alone. On top of a few lavish gifts from Alan to his wife, Richard’s jealousy goes from annoyed to enraged. And that’s when it starts to get ugly.

Richard corners Alan and ultimately kills in a drunken jealous fit and then sets his sight on his wife. Della discovers Alan’s body and attempts to flee in sheer terror. But Richard wants to play cat and mouse with his presumably unfaithful wife. He traps her in a room and strangles her with a piece of lingerie Richard assumes was bought for Alan. As a parting shot to his recently deceased beloved, he drags her over to the departed Alan’s cabin next door to “work on that baby again”.

Uhh. GROSS.

And there it is. He opens the door to the supposed empty cabin with dead wife in tow to a goddamn surprise party in his honor announcing that Richard was going to be a father. The whole trip was designed by Della and Alan to put a smile on the face of a man who was living life day to day slowly sinking further into a deep depression regarding his troubles and inability to care for his lady the way he thinks should be. I guess now that way is dead however.

Seriously, that twist ending revealing that this already broken man who wanted nothing more than to have a happy family with this woman, actually killed his wife who was in fact with child, is fucking gut-wrenching. And teaches an obvious moral lesson of that age old saying, think before you act. Or in much more modern terms, don’t be a dick. Be a dude.

And on that note, I want to wish every hard-working dad out there a very Happy Father’s Day. And a special shout out to my own Hub-beast for putting up with me and our monster children on the daily. Thanks for not ever pulling a Richard on me!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qFrwowYLZE

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Another Creepy Spider Movie Hits Shudder This Month

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Good spider films are a theme this year. First, we had Sting and then there was Infested. The former is still in theaters and the latter is coming to Shudder starting April 26.

Infested has been getting some good reviews. People are saying that it’s not only a great creature feature but also a social commentary on racism in France.

According to IMDb: Writer/director Sébastien Vanicek was looking for ideas around the discrimination faced by black and Arab-looking people in France, and that led him to spiders, which are rarely welcome in homes; whenever they’re spotted, they’re swatted. As everyone in the story (people and spiders) is treated like vermin by society, the title came to him naturally.

Shudder has become the gold standard for streaming horror content. Since 2016, the service has been offering fans an expansive library of genre movies. in 2017, they began to stream exclusive content.

Since then Shudder has become a powerhouse in the film festival circuit, buying distribution rights to movies, or just producing some of their own. Just like Netflix, they give a film a short theatrical run before adding it to their library exclusively for subscribers.

Late Night With the Devil is a great example. It was released theatrically on March 22 and will begin streaming on the platform starting April 19.

While not getting the same buzz as Late Night, Infested is a festival favorite and many have said if you suffer from arachnophobia, you might want to take heed before watching it.

Infested

According to the synopsis, our main character, Kalib is turning 30 and dealing with some family issues. “He’s fighting with his sister over an inheritance and has cut ties with his best friend. Fascinated by exotic animals, he finds a venomous spider in a shop and brings it back to his apartment. It only takes a moment for the spider to escape and reproduce, turning the whole building into a dreadful web trap. The only option for Kaleb and his friends is to find a way out and survive.”

The film will be available to watch on Shudder starting April 26.

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Part Concert, Part Horror Movie M. Night Shyamalan’s ‘Trap’ Trailer Released

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In true Shyamalan form, he sets his film Trap inside a social situation where we aren’t sure what is going on. Hopefully, there is a twist at the end. Furthermore, we hope it’s better than the one in his divisive 2021 movie Old.

The trailer seemingly gives away a lot, but, as in the past, you can’t rely on his trailers because they are often red herrings and you are being gaslit to think a certain way. For instance, his movie Knock at the Cabin was completely different than what the trailer implied and if you hadn’t read the book on which the film is based it was still like going in blind.

The plot for Trap is being dubbed an “experience” and we aren’t quite sure what that means. If we were to guess based on the trailer, it’s a concert movie wrapped around a horror mystery. There are original songs performed by Saleka, who plays Lady Raven, a kind of Taylor Swift/Lady Gaga hybrid. They have even set up a Lady Raven website to further the illusion.

Here is the fresh trailer:

According to the synopsis, a father takes his daughter to one of Lady Raven’s jam-packed concerts, “where they realize they’re at the center of a dark and sinister event.”

Written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan, Trap stars Josh Hartnett, Ariel Donoghue, Saleka Shyamalan, Hayley Mills and Allison Pill. The film is produced by Ashwin Rajan, Marc Bienstock and M. Night Shyamalan. The executive producer is Steven Schneider.

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Woman Brings Corpse Into Bank To Sign Loan Papers

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Warning: This is a disturbing story.

You have to be pretty desperate for money to do what this Brazilian woman did at the bank to get a loan. She wheeled in a fresh corpse to endorse the contract and she seemingly thought the bank employees wouldn’t notice. They did.

This weird and disturbing story comes via ScreenGeek an entertainment digital publication. They write that a woman identified as Erika de Souza Vieira Nunes pushed a man she identified as her uncle into the bank pleading with him to sign loan papers for $3,400. 

If you’re squeamish or easily triggered, be aware that the video captured of the situation is disturbing. 

Latin America’s largest commercial network, TV Globo, reported on the crime, and according to ScreenGeek this is what Nunes says in Portuguese during the attempted transaction. 

“Uncle, are you paying attention? You must sign [the loan contract]. If you don’t sign, there’s no way, as I cannot sign on your behalf!”

She then adds: “Sign so you can spare me further headaches; I can’t bear it any longer.” 

At first we thought this might be a hoax, but according to Brazilian police, the uncle, 68-year-old Paulo Roberto Braga had passed away earlier that day.

 “She attempted to feign his signature for the loan. He entered the bank already deceased,” Police Chief Fábio Luiz said in an interview with TV Globo. “Our priority is to continue investigating to identify other family members and gather more information regarding this loan.”

If convicted Nunes could be facing jail time on charges of fraud, embezzlement, and desecration of a corpse.

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