News
The Simpsons Scariest Non-Treehouse Episodes!
Tonight is a landmark in one of the longest running animated series on American television as The Simpsons reach their 600th episode. But not only that, it’s also their traditional Halloween episode as well, Treehouse of Horror XXVII! In honor of this event, rather than going over the top Treehouse episodes like many have done in the past, I thought it would be best to look over some of The Simpsons‘ scariest regular episodes and moments!
BOYSCOUTZ ‘N THE HOOD
When Bart goes on a sugary squishee bender, he wakes up to find he’s joined “The Junior Campers”, headed by Ned Flanders! But, he actually starts to learn some valuable lessons about the outdoors and survival tactics. Then comes the Father-Son Rafting trip. Due to Homer’s carelessness, their team ends up separated from the main group (Including celebrity guest, Ernest Borgnine!) and lost at sea. Seeing Homer, Ned, and their boys reduced to starvation and despair at sea is unsettling enough, but the misadventure of Ernest Borgnine was borderline disturbing. First, the main rafting team rides through a wooded area with strange chuckling and Deliverance style banjo strumming. Then Borgnine and some kids are attacked by a bear, with the Devil’s Rain star defenseless because Homer lifted his knife. They’re last seen at an “abandoned campsite” they were fortunate enough to find ,and decide to sing a song around the campfire. Until that iconic theme of a certain hockey masked psycho plays, and everyone gives a terrified scream as Ernest is attacked by an unseen stalker… and that’s how the episode ends!
ITCHY AND SCRATCHY LAND
In a take-off of Michael Crichton’s Westworld, and the then newly released Jurassic Park, The Simpsons take a vacation to an Itchy And Scratchy theme park filed to the brim with animatronic Itchys and Scratchys that are programmed only to harm each other for visitor’s amusement… until chaos theory kicks in, of course. Even though the family manage to come up on top, it was a little unsettling to see them menaced by an army of blood spurting, axe wielding robots. Other highlights include the futuristic amusement park prison, a bird sanctuary under siege by a bunch of angry birds, and a surrealist moment when it appears that The Simpsons have died in a car wreck! “I’m glad that wasn’t us.”
HOMER VS PATTY AND SELMA
More a creepy moment in an otherwise tame episode… though oddly stemming from Halloween. When it’s revealed that Homer blew the family’s savings on pumpkin futures past October, he has to take a loan from Patty and Selma. Needing more money to pay them back, an ad comes on TV for limousine driving. Homer thanks Lisa for turning on the TV…but she never did. When he asks her to turn it off, it already is. The X-Files themes plays. Really weird. Also, an appearance by Mel Brooks and Homer’s thoughts on Young Frankenstein! “Scared the hell outta me!”
LISA’S FIRST WORD
A flashback episode into the history of the Simpson’s family, with Bart and Lisa’s coming of age. Mainly for Bart, the nightmares of childhood. Most infamously, when Homer builds a clown-like bed for Bart due to his love of Krusty The Clown. The results are… horrific. With Bart imagining the clown headboard threatening to eat his soul! Giving the the world that historic mantra “Can’t sleep. Clown will eat me.” Other highlights include Bart’s bizarre encounter with the extremely confused Grandmother Flanders. “Hello, Joe!”
THE SPRINGFIELD FILES
One of the few, and most lauded crossovers in the animated series also has one of its most creepiest tales. When Homer, walking home one Friday night from a bender, seems to make contact with a glowing alien being, he catches the attention of Mulder and Scully themselves! Though it just turns out to be an irradiated/doped up Mr. Burns, it’s still a strange story. Especially in the original version, where the alien would have still remained a mystery. Highlights include Homer so freaked out by the alien that he spells out his exclaimed “YAHH!” in the surrounding grass, hypnotizing Muder and Scully with his jiggling fat, and Leonard Nimoy’s In Search Of… style framing.
BROTHER FROM THE SAME PLANET
Homer forgets to pick up Bart from Soccer practice. And things get a little intense. Bringing us two animated examples of nightmare fuel to come from the beloved series. In one instance, Homer dreaming about picking up Bart and only finding his desiccated skeleton. And upon picking up the agitated boy and spilling ice cream on him, Bart imagines his flesh burning off in a grotesque display! Other highlights include Bart using a “Shinning” of sorts to try and get Milhouse to tell someone to “Pick up Bart!”
CAPE FEARE
The turning point int he dance of death between thespian psychopath Sideshow Bob, and Bart Simpson. Namely, Bart being sent a series of letters threatening his life, written in blood! Not knowing the culprit at first, he suspects everyone from his mom, Ned Flanders, to his teacher. And when Bob gets revealed, it’s enough for the family to go into witness protection at Terror Lake under the name, “The Thompsons.” Only for Bob to follow and attempt machete laden vengeance! Despite a lot of slapstick, including the classic ‘rake’ bit, there was some genuine suspense as Bob stalked and threatened to gut Bart. Other highlights include Bob staying at the Bates Motel, everything Cape Fear related, and Homer trying to give a shaken Bart a brownie before bed with a butcher knife followed by his chainsaw and hockey mask!
BART OF DARKNESS
When Bart breaks his leg during a Summer pool mishap, it leaves the poor kid stuck in his room with a telescope and witness to a murder seemingly committed by Ned Flanders! A clear Rear Window riff, it does manage to capture a lot of the tension from the original story, especially when Ned returns home while Lisa’s investigating, holding an axe! Other highlights include Bart’s solitude induced madness and Homer thinking he’s been attacked by The Blob when it turns out to be algae.
HOMER’S ENEMY
One of the more intense one-shot episodes, that asks a very simple question: what happens when a normal guy is introduced to the wacky world of Homer Simpson? Evidently, not much good when Homer meets his eternal foe, Frank Grimes. A hard worker who has led a hard life, Frank is hired to the nuclear power plant and is immediately disgusted by Homer’s laziness, gluttony, and sheer stupidity that should have killed him years ago. Compounded by the fact that despite this, Homer is a successful family man who has been to space and met all kinds of celebrities. Frank’s plan to make Homer look like an idiot by entering him in a Nuclear Plant model competition for kids backfires when Homer not only wins, but gets applauded by his peers. This causes Frank to snap, attempting to be as reckless and stupid as Homer to win people’s approval, including handling high voltage wires… Hence the last scene being his funeral, where a sleeping Homer tells Reverend Lovejoy to change the channel. The attendees laughing along as Frank is lowered into his grave. Go figure.
HALLOWEEN OF HORROR
The most recent entry, and the only mainstream Simpsons episode to take place explicitly on and around Halloween. When Lisa is left traumatized by ‘Halloween Horror Night’ at Krustyland, Homer keeps an eye on her at home while Marge, Bart, and Maggie go trick or treating. Unfortunately, Homer pissed off a trio of Halloween store clerks (Including guests Nick Kroll and Blake Anderson!) by accidentally getting them fired for under the table decoration deals, and now they want revenge! The story evokes numerous home-invasion movies like You’re Next, and The Strangers, but with Homer’s styled ineptitude. Highlights include ‘Adult Halloween’ after dark, multiple humming of the Halloween theme, and Homer having a heart to heart with Lisa about fear.
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Movies
Trailer for ‘The Exorcism’ Has Russell Crowe Possessed
The latest exorcism movie is about to drop this summer. It’s aptly titled The Exorcism and it stars Academy Award winner turned B-movie savant Russell Crowe. The trailer dropped today and by the looks of it, we are getting a possession movie that takes place on a movie set.
Just like this year’s recent demon-in-media-space film Late Night With the Devil, The Exorcism happens during a production. Although the former takes place on a live network talk show, the latter is on an active sound stage. Hopefully, it won’t be entirely serious and we’ll get some meta chuckles out of it.
The film will open in theaters on June 7, but since Shudder also acquired it, it probably won’t be long after that until it finds a home on the streaming service.
Crowe plays, “Anthony Miller, a troubled actor who begins to unravel while shooting a supernatural horror film. His estranged daughter, Lee (Ryan Simpkins), wonders if he’s slipping back into his past addictions or if there’s something more sinister at play. The film also stars Sam Worthington, Chloe Bailey, Adam Goldberg and David Hyde Pierce.”
Crowe did see some success in last year’s The Pope’s Exorcist mostly because his character was so over-the-top and infused with such comical hubris it bordered on parody. We will see if that is the route actor-turned-director Joshua John Miller takes with The Exorcism.
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News
Win a Stay at The Lizzie Borden House From Spirit Halloween
Spirit Halloween has declared that this week marks the start of spooky season and to celebrate they are offering fans a chance to stay at the Lizzie Borden House with so many perks Lizzie herself would approve.
The Lizzie Borden House in Fall River, MA is claimed to be one of the most haunted houses in America. Of course one lucky winner and up to 12 of their friends will find out if the rumors are true if they win the grand prize: A private stay in the notorious house.
“We are delighted to work with Spirit Halloween to roll out the red carpet and offer the public a chance to win a one-of-a-kind experience at the infamous Lizzie Borden House, which also includes additional haunted experiences and merchandise,” said Lance Zaal, President & Founder of US Ghost Adventures.
Fans can enter to win by following Spirit Halloween‘s Instagram and leaving a comment on the contest post from now through April 28.
The prize also includes:
An exclusive guided house tour, including insider insight around the murder, the trial, and commonly reported hauntings
A late-night ghost tour, complete with professional ghost-hunting gear
A private breakfast in the Borden family dining room
A ghost hunting starter kit with two pieces of Ghost Daddy Ghost Hunting Gear and a lesson for two at US Ghost Adventures Ghost Hunting Course
The ultimate Lizzie Borden gift package, featuring an official hatchet, the Lizzie Borden board game, Lily the Haunted Doll, and America’s Most Haunted Volume II
Winner’s choice of a Ghost Tour experience in Salem or a True Crime experience in Boston for two
“Our Halfway to Halloween celebration provides fans an exhilarating taste of what’s to come this fall and empowers them to start planning for their favorite season as early as they please,” said Steven Silverstein, CEO of Spirit Halloween. “We have cultivated an incredible following of enthusiasts who embody the Halloween lifestyle, and we’re thrilled to bring the fun back to life.”
Spirit Halloween is also preparing for their retail haunted houses. On Thursday, August 1 their flagship store in Egg Harbor Township, NJ. will officially open to start off the season. That event usually draws in hordes of people eager to see what new merch, animatronics, and exclusive IP goods will be trending this year.
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Movies
’28 Years Later’ Trilogy Taking Shape With Serious Star Power
Danny Boyle is revisiting his 28 Days Later universe with three new films. He will direct the first, 28 Years Later, with two more to follow. Deadline is reporting that sources say Jodie Comer, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, and Ralph Fiennes have been cast for the first entry, a sequel to the original. Details are being kept under wraps so we don’t know how or if the first original sequel 28 Weeks Later fits into the project.
Boyle will direct the first movie but it’s unclear which role he will take on in the subsequent films. What is known is Candyman (2021) director Nia DaCosta is scheduled to direct the second film in this trilogy and that the third will be filmed immediately afterward. Whether DaCosta will direct both is still unclear.
Alex Garland is writing the scripts. Garland is having a successful time at the box office right now. He wrote and directed the current action/thriller Civil War which was just knocked out of the theatrical top spot by Radio Silence’s Abigail.
There is no word yet on when, or where, 28 Years Later will start production.
The original film followed Jim (Cillian Murphy) who wakes from a coma to find that London is currently dealing with a zombie outbreak.
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