These Serial Killer Valentine Cards Slay This Valentine’s Day!

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Written by Patti Pauley

Nothing says I love you and I’m a giant creep quite like a Charles Manson greeting card. And in case you’re wondering, I really am that disturbing wacko that would hand out serial killer valentine cards out around the office.

Actually if you want to get technical here, V-Day cards depicting notorious murderers is quite appropriate given the Hallmark holiday’s true dark origins. In ancient Rome from Feb. 13th to 15th, the Romans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia. The Roman men would sacrifice a goat and a dog, then whipped their women with the hides of the animals they had just slain to well, woo them I guess, and the gals believed this would help in fertility.

No slaughtered animal hinds needed for my ass cheeks, thank you. For most healthy modern ladies, all it takes is a tickle..

Slightly twisted traditions from long ago; just like these glorious gems available for purchase through Etsy seller NonComposeCards. The shop offers both individual greeting cards featuring your favorite maniac such as Bundy, Gacy, and Albert Fish. Or you can buy a set of serial killer card sheets, just like the ones you handed out in Elementary School-severed limbs not included. Check out these beasts below!


Charles Manson Valentine Card

Jeffrey Dahmer Card

Ted Bundy Card

Gacy Card