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There are perhaps no two giant sea monster franchises more popular than Lake Placid and Anaconda, which both took a similar journey of starting on the big screen and then heading direct-to-video. Unfortunately, Syfy scooped up the properties and they’ve been churning out crappy sequels for the last few years, with no end in sight.

After four installments of both franchises, the network known for pure and utter hogwash like Sharknado and Piranhaconda has announced the franchise mash-up film Lake Placid vs. Anaconda, which will pit the giant computer-generated crocodiles of the former up against the giant computer-generated snakes of the latter.

Or are they alligators? I’m not even sure. And I don’t think it really matters.

Believe it or not, Robert “Freddy Krueger” Englund is starring in the low-budget affair, just as he did in 2002’s Lake Placid: The Final Chapter. Why Englund hasn’t been offered better roles over the years is a total mystery, as that dude has got serious acting skills. Sigh.

Described as “a thriller about corporate greed and science gone wrong” – gee, that sounds like every Syfy movie, doesn’t it? – Lake Placid vs. Anaconda will premiere on Saturday, April 25th at 9pm EST. Despite poking fun at it, and disagreeing with everything Syfy represents, I’ll probably be tuning in. Because I hate myself.