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Writers’ Picks: Best of “MST3K” to Tide You Over Until the Premier

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It’s almost here, guys!!!! Less than two weeks left before the return of our favorite bots, mads and shitty movies. In a matter of days, MST3K makes its long awaited return.

I can’t tell you how excited I am. I have no idea when I first fell in love with the show but fell I did and hard. I know some people are Team Joel and some are Team Mike, but I truly never cared. I loved them both and the chemistry between them both and Gypsy, Cambot, Tom Servo and Croooooooooow (admit that you sung that in your head…admit it) were equally as wonderful.

I have gotten together my own ragtag group from the iHorror team to pick out the absolute must see episodes before the new season premiers. So hold onto your gears, get your snarky commentary ready, and lets countdown.

6,5,4,3,2,1…and showtime.

The Horrors of Spider Island Season 10, Episode 11

MST3K

(Image credit: torrentbutler.com)

A troupe of Go-Go dancers and their manager (somehow) survive a plane crash on their way from New York to Singapore, and wash ashore on an island inhabited by a mutated spider… Traditionally I’m more of a Joel man when it comes to MST3K, but there’s just something about The Horrors of Spider Island that I just love; it is that sort of random film (go-go dancers attacked by a spider/man/beast in between parties and naked swimming) that only the 1960s could produce. Mike, Tom Servo, and Crow are in excellent form throughout, but as with the very best MST3K episodes, the fact that movie itself is weirdly entertaining (with it’s awful dubbing out of the original German) and provides an excellent counterbalance to the lads riffing (or just reminding us every once in a while that we’re watching The Horrors of Spider Island…a film whose title is…about 30% accurate: they are on an island).

-Shaun Cordingley

MST3K

(Image credit: giphy.com)

The Final Sacrifice Season 9, Episode 10

MST3K

(Image credit: pinterest.com)

The epic, low-budget, Canadian adventure of a lifetime! It follows young nerd Troy McGreggor as he attempts to follow in his long since dead archaeologist father’s footsteps. Finding himself on the run from a ridiculously deep voiced cult leader named Satoris, and his army of ski-mask wearing, chainsaw-wielding thugs, he teams up with Canada’s greatest heroes: ZAP ROWSDOWER. A beer swilling, mulletted loner who may have had a hand in Troy’s father’s death. Together they must find the ancient Ziox civilization and bring peace to Alberta! Highlights include the low-budget car chases, Canadian cultists, and hysterical riffs on Zap’s drinking. Including the immortal line “I wonder if there’s beer on the sun?” And featuring Pipper, the most dangnabbed, rootin-tootin, Yosemite Sam, prospector type ever.

-Jacob Davison

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYoheSI7Dbc

 

Werewolf Season 9, Episode 4

MST3K

(Image credit: blumhouse.com)

This movie is a hell of a good time and stars the lesser (way lesser) known Estevez, Joe Estevez. A group of archeologists discover a mythical Native American werewolf creature buried in the desert. With as many people that turn in this movie, you’d think this thing would be alive but, no. In various ways, people just tend to fall on the bones and get scratched and Bada Bing Bada Boom… werewolf. The acting is atrocious and the story is mediocre and I LOVE it. There is less expression in the faces of the actors than the waiting room of a plastic surgeon’s office.The Snark Patrol is on point with their commentary and it makes for a thoroughly enjoyable experience. You will never look at bugles the same way again. Plus, there’s that Estevez. That makes it a hit, right?

-D.D. Crowley

 

The Pumaman Season 9, Episode 3

MST3K

(Image credit: basils.blogspot.com)

I think I might be biased about this one for one reason: I’m a huge John Carpenter’s Halloween fan. Pumaman is NOTHING like Halloween but they do share a common element…Donald Pleasence. Oh, yes. A movie about an ancient Aztec mask that turns that which is destined to receive its powers into PUMAMAN! “Who is Pumaman?” you ask. A guy in a bedazzled shirt and cape that KINDA flies and is a descendant of an Aztec go. This is special.I’m not sure if it’s the effects,the acting or the fact the Aztec shaman tests randos to see if they’re Pumaman by tossing them out of windows. And I’m not sure what made Pleasence join the crew of this little LSD trip, but I’m glad he did. Plus, I love it when the leading ladies have a severe case of crazy eyes.

-D.D. Crowley

Soultaker Season 10, Episode 1

MST3K

(Image credit: mst3k.wikia.com)

Oh, hell. It’s Joe Estevez again. He “stars” in this movie (“Does anything really star Joe Estevez?”) as a Soultaker in charge of taking the souls of four teenagers that die in a car accident. The movie is the epitome of a 1990’s terrible movie. The dialogue sounds like something your pain in the ass 9-year-old brother would write and the music is music in the technical term. The movie is terrible but this has got some of the best commentary I’ve seen from Mike, Tom Servo and Crow. I don’t think there’s a part of the movie that I wasn’t howling with laughter. Soultaker led the last season of MST3K and included a visit from Joel to the S.O.L. which was a special and emotional little treat for viewers.

-D.D. Crowley

MST3K

(Image credit: pinterest.com)

Don’t limit yourself to just these five before the premier. There are too many to go over but some other beloved episodes are Pod People, Mitchell, Merlin’s Shop of Mythical Wonders, Eegah and many, many others. Most subscription move and TV streaming services offer a limited title of the series and MST3K returns to Netflix April 14th for a brand new season of bad movies, great commentary and new mads.

While you’re here, check out the new line up of episodes of MST3K that Netflix added. And check out Felicia Day and Patten Oswalt as the new mads here!

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Lists

Radio Silence Movies Ranked

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Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett, and Chad Villella are all filmmakers under the collective label called Radio Silence. Bettinelli-Olpin and Gillett are the primary directors under that moniker while Villella produces.

They have gained popularity over the past 13 years and their films have become known as having a certain Radio Silence “signature.” They are bloody, usually contain monsters, and have breakneck action sequences. Their recent film Abigail exemplifies that signature and is perhaps their best film yet. They are currently working on a reboot of John Carpenter’s Escape From New York.

We thought we would go through the list of projects they have directed and rank them from high to low. None of the movies and shorts on this list are bad, they all have their merits. These rankings from top to bottom are just ones we felt showcased their talents the best.

We didn’t include movies they produced but didn’t direct.

Abigail

An update to the second film on this list, Abagail is the natural progression of Radio Silence’s love of lockdown horror. It follows in pretty much the same footsteps of Ready or Not, but manages to go one better — make it about vampires.

Abigail

Ready or Not

This film put Radio Silence on the map. While not as successful at the box office as some of their other films, Ready or Not proved that the team could step outside their limited anthology space and create a fun, thrilling, and bloody adventure-length film.

Ready or Not

Scream (2022)

While Scream will always be a polarizing franchise, this prequel, sequel, reboot — however you want to label it showed just how much Radio Silence knew the source material. It wasn’t lazy or cash-grabby, just a good time with legendary characters we love and new ones who grew on us.

Scream (2022)

Southbound (The Way Out)

Radio Silence tosses their found footage modus operandi for this anthology film. Responsible for the bookend stories, they create a terrifying world in their segment titled The Way Out, which involves strange floating beings and some sort of time loop. It’s kind of the first time we see their work without a shaky cam. If we were to rank this entire film, it would remain at this position on the list.

Southbound

V/H/S (10/31/98)

The film that started it all for Radio Silence. Or should we say the segment that started it all. Even though this isn’t feature-length what they managed to do with the time they had was very good. Their chapter was titled 10/31/98, a found-footage short involving a group of friends who crash what they think is a staged exorcism only to learn not to assume things on Halloween night.

V/H/S

Scream VI

Cranking up the action, moving to the big city and letting Ghostface use a shotgun, Scream VI turned the franchise on its head. Like their first one, this film played with canon and managed to win over a lot of fans in its direction, but alienated others for coloring too far outside the lines of Wes Craven’s beloved series. If any sequel was showing how the trope was going stale it was Scream VI, but it managed to squeeze some fresh blood out of this nearly three-decade mainstay.

Scream VI

Devil’s Due

Fairly underrated, this, Radio Silence’s first feature-length film, is a sampler of things they took from V/H/S. It was filmed in an omnipresent found footage style, showcasing a form of possession, and features clueless men. Since this was their first bonafide major studio job it’s a wonderful touchstone to see how far they have come with their storytelling.

Devil’s Due

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Perhaps the Scariest, Most Disturbing Series of The Year

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You may have never heard of Richard Gadd, but that will probably change after this month. His mini-series Baby Reindeer just hit Netflix and it’s a terrifying deep dive into abuse, addiction, and mental illness. What is even scarier is that it’s based on Gadd’s real-life hardships.

The crux of the story is about a man named Donny Dunn played by Gadd who wants to be a stand-up comedian, but it’s not working out so well thanks to stage fright stemming from his insecurity.

One day at his day job he meets a woman named Martha, played to unhinged perfection by Jessica Gunning, who is instantly charmed by Donny’s kindness and good looks. It doesn’t take long before she nicknames him “Baby Reindeer” and begins to relentlessly stalk him. But that is just the apex of Donny’s problems, he has his own incredibly disturbing issues.

This mini-series should come with a lot of triggers, so just be warned it is not for the faint of heart. The horrors here don’t come from blood and gore, but from physical and mental abuse that go beyond any physiological thriller you may have ever seen.

“It’s very emotionally true, obviously: I was severely stalked and severely abused,” Gadd said to People, explaining why he changed some aspects of the story. “But we wanted it to exist in the sphere of art, as well as protect the people it’s based on.”

The series has gained momentum thanks to positive word-of-mouth, and Gadd is getting used to the notoriety.

“It’s clearly struck a chord,” he told The Guardian. “I really did believe in it, but it’s taken off so quickly that I do feel a bit windswept.”

You can stream Baby Reindeer on Netflix right now.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, please contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or go to rainn.org.

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Movies

The Original ‘Beetlejuice’ Sequel Had an Interesting Location

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beetlejuice in Hawaii Movie

Back in the late ’80s and early ’90s sequels to hit movies weren’t as linear as they are today. It was more like “let’s re-do the situation but in a different location.” Remember Speed 2, or National Lampoon’s European Vacation? Even Aliens, as good as it is, follows a lot of the plot points of the original; people stuck on a ship, an android, a little girl in peril instead of a cat. So it makes sense that one of the most popular supernatural comedies of all time, Beetlejuice would follow the same pattern.

In 1991 Tim Burton was interested in doing a sequel to his 1988 original, it was called Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian:

“The Deetz family moves to Hawaii to develop a resort. Construction begins, and it’s quickly discovered that the hotel will be sitting on top of an ancient burial ground. Beetlejuice comes in to save the day.”

Burton liked the script but wanted some re-writes so he asked then-hot screenwriter Daniel Waters who had just got done contributing to Heathers. He passed on the opportunity so producer David Geffen offered it to Troop Beverly Hills scribe Pamela Norris to no avail.

Eventually, Warner Bros. asked Kevin Smith to punch up Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian, he scoffed at the idea, saying, “Didn’t we say all we needed to say in the first Beetlejuice? Must we go tropical?”

Nine years later the sequel was killed. The studio said Winona Ryder was now too old for the part and an entire re-cast needed to happen. But Burton never gave up, there were a lot of directions he wanted to take his characters, including a Disney crossover.

“We talked about lots of different things,” the director said in Entertainment Weekly. “That was early on when we were going, Beetlejuice and the Haunted MansionBeetlejuice Goes West, whatever. Lots of things came up.”

Fast-forward to 2011 when another script was pitched for a sequel. This time the writer of Burton’s Dark Shadows,  Seth Grahame-Smith was hired and he wanted to make sure the story wasn’t a cash-grabbing remake or reboot. Four years later, in 2015, a script was approved with both Ryder and Keaton saying they would return to their respective roles. In 2017 that script was revamped and then eventually shelved in 2019.

During the time the sequel script was being tossed around in Hollywood, in 2016 an artist named Alex Murillo posted what looked like one-sheets for a Beetlejuice sequel. Although they were fabricated and had no affiliation with Warner Bros. people thought they were real.

Perhaps the virality of the artwork sparked interest in a Beetlejuice sequel once again, and finally, it was confirmed in 2022 Beetlejuice 2 had a green light from a script written by Wednesday writers  Alfred Gough and Miles Millar. The star of that series Jenna Ortega signed on to the new movie with filming starting in 2023. It was also confirmed that Danny Elfman would return to do the score.

Burton and Keaton agreed that the new film titled Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice wouldn’t rely on CGI or other other forms of technology. They wanted the film to feel “handmade.” The film wrapped in November 2023.

It’s been over three decades to come up with a sequel to Beetlejuice. Hopefully, since they said aloha to Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian there has been enough time and creativity to ensure Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice will not only honor the characters, but fans of the original.

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice will open theatrically on September 6.

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