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The Nightmares Are True, Geese Are ‘Jaws’ With Wings

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Geese are foul creatures and highly temperamental,  just ask anyone who has tried to go up against one and they will tell you it’s one of the most horrifying experiences of their lives. A recent picture circulating the internet has compounded the fear people have of these winged devils as it shows rows of sharp teeth, not only on their beaks but tongues!

But if you’re a smart internet browser you have to take everything you see with a grain of salt, photo editing and deep fakes serve as good veils of the truth. And the Great White-like serrated teeth found in the picture above is just someone having a go. Right?

Wrong. Geese have teeth everywhere and your nightmares have just been fueled.

The sharp teeth are actually made of something called Tomium. It’s hard and spikey cartilage that lines their beaks. The protrusions are as hard as bones which they use to rip through grass, snails, golfers, and anything they damn well please. Drawing blood is a consequence after just one bite.

Whoever decided to add these beasts of hell to our matrix also decided rows of saw-like protrusions weren’t enough just on the beaks but they thought it might be funny to add them to their tongues.

These tongue weapons are mainly used to grasp living prey and human ankles, impaling them to thwart escape. Then they can be ripped apart with the other rows of beak spikes for a hearty meal.

There are bird lovers out there who will probably give me hell for criticizing these winged serpents, and the comments section will fill up with remarks grounded in pseudo-defiance, just for the sake of disagreeing.

I say we put those people in an enclosure with a bunch of these Jaws geese and see how they feel after ten minutes.

I love all animals, except spiders. But they aren’t technically an animal are they? I love birds and yes even geese in the sense that they should not be harmed or killed for fun. So if you see one, or two leave them alone and they will do the same or risk getting your ankles mangled by the equivalent of what can only be described as an avian bandsaw!

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‘Longlegs’ Creepy “Part 2” Teaser Appears on Instagram

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Longlegs

Neon Films released an Insta-teaser for their horror film Longlegs today. Titled Dirty: Part 2, the clip only furthers the mystery of what we are in for when this movie is finally released on July 12.

The official logline is: FBI Agent Lee Harker is assigned to an unsolved serial killer case that takes unexpected turns, revealing evidence of the occult. Harker discovers a personal connection to the killer and must stop him before he strikes again.

Directed by former actor Oz Perkins who also gave us The Blackcoat’s Daughter and Gretel & Hansel, Longlegs is already creating buzz with its moody images and cryptic hints. The film is rated R for bloody violence, and disturbing images.

Longlegs stars Nicolas Cage, Maika Monroe, and Alicia Witt.

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Exclusive Sneak Peek: Eli Roth and Crypt TV’s VR Series ‘The Faceless Lady’ Episode Five

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Eli Roth (Cabin Fever) and Crypt TV are knocking it out of the park with their new VR show, The Faceless Lady. For those unaware, this is the first fully scripted VR horror show on the market.

Even for masters of horror like Eli Roth and Crypt TV, this is a monumental undertaking. However, if I trust anyone to change the way that we experience horror, it would be these two legends.

The Faceless Lady

Ripped from the pages of Irish folklore, The Faceless Lady tells the story of a tragic spirit cursed to wander the halls of her castle for all of eternity. However, when three young couples are invited to the castle for a series of games, their fates may soon change.

So far, the story has provided horror fans with a gripping game of life or death that doesn’t look as if it will slow down in episode five. Luckily, we have an exclusive clip that may be able to satiate your appetites until the new premiere.

Airing on 4/25 at 5pmPT/8pmET, episode five follows our final three contestants in this wicked game. As the stakes are raised ever higher, will Ella be able to fully awaken her connection with Lady Margaret?

The faceless lady

The newest episode can be found on Meta Quest TV. If you haven’t already, follow this link to subscribe to the series. Make sure to check out the new clip below.

Eli Roth Present’s THE FACELESS LADY S1E5 Clip: THE DUEL – YouTube

To view in the highest resolution, adjust the quality settings in the bottom right corner of the clip.

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‘Blink Twice’ Trailer Presents a Thrilling Mystery in Paradise

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A new trailer for the movie formerly known as Pussy Island just dropped and it has us intrigued. Now with the more restrained title, Blink Twice, this  Zoë Kravitz-directed black comedy is set to land in theaters on August 23.

The film is packed with stars including Channing Tatum, Naomi Ackie, Alia Shawkat, Simon Rex, Adria Arjona, Haley Joel Osment, Christian Slater, Kyle MacLachlan, and Geena Davis.

The trailer feels like a Benoit Blanc mystery; people are invited to a secluded location and disappear one by one, leaving one guest to figure out what is going on.

In the film, a billionaire named Slater King (Channing Tatum) invites a waitress named Frida (Naomi Ackie) to his private island, “It’s paradise. Wild nights blend into sun-soaked days and everyone’s having a great time. No one wants this trip to end, but as strange things start to happen, Frida begins to question her reality. There is something wrong with this place. She’ll have to uncover the truth if she wants to make it out of this party alive.”

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