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Horror Pets To Keep Out Of The Pet Sematary

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Horror Pets To Keep Out Of The Pet Sematary

Everyone loves their pets.  And, as our own Kelly McNeely showed us a few days ago, there are plenty of good dogs and cats in horror movies that are so good that they deserve to get the Pet Sematary treatment and be brought back for another chance at life after they pass.

But then, there’s the other end of the scale.  Some horror pets were mean and nasty enough in life that they aren’t worth the risk that they’ll come back worse.  Like Jud Crandall said – sometimes, dead IS better.

 

Cujo – Cujo (1983)

Horror Pets To Keep Out Of The Pet Sematary

Cujo (1983), courtesy Warner Bros.

The most obvious entry on this last, and therefore, the first one, is Cujo from, of course, Cujo.

Now, Cujo was just a big St. Bernard puppy who happened to get bitten by a bat and catch rabies.  He’s a fluffy good boy who deserves a second chance, right?  Wrong.  The evil Cujo that would come back from the Pet Sematary would be just as strong and powerful as the rabid Cujo, but would have a mean streak that would overshadow his cuteness.  It’s best to leave him alone.

 

Max – Man’s Best Friend (1993)

Horror Pets To Keep Out Of The Pet Sematary

Man’s Best Friend (1993), courtesy New Line Cinema.

Max from Man’s Best Friend is another pup that gets a bad rap.  He is a genetically altered Mastiff who is freed from his cruel animal testing lab by a news reporter, and he of course becomes attached to his rescuer.

He also becomes very protective of her.  Needless to say, things go very badly for everyone who is not his savior reporter.  So, unless you’re that reporter, Max should be kept out of the Sematary.  He was mean enough the first time.  He’d come back even nastier.

 

Ella – Monkey Shines (1988)

Horror Pets To Keep Out Of The Pet Sematary

Monkey Shines (1988), courtesy Orion Pictures.

Speaking of experimental animals…Ella from Monkey Shines is a helper monkey who is injected with human brain tissue that makes her super smart.  It also makes her super aggressive, and like Max, she develops a bond with her person, who happened to be a quadriplegic.

Also like Max, she takes her rage out on anyone and everyone who crosses her master, whether he wants her to or not.  Again, unless you’re her person, Ella is not an animal that you’d want to come back.

 

Ben – Willard (1971/2003), Ben (1972)

Horror Pets To Keep Out Of The Pet Sematary

Ben (1972), courtesy Cinerama Releasing Corporation.

There are a slew of rats in Willard, but only two – Ben and Socrates – who are named.  Of those two, Socrates is the good guy, while Ben is the bad.  We already let you know that Socrates deserves the Sematary.  Now we’re telling you that Ben does not.

At first, he’s an ally to Willard, the young man who has an unexplainable psychic connection to him and his rodent brethren.  But Ben seems to take Socrates’ unfortunate demise a bit too hard, and goes out for vengeance until even Willard stops trusting him.  That kind of disloyalty doesn’t deserve a second chance.

 

The Cat from Hell – Tales From The Darkside: The Movie (1990)

Horror Pets To Keep Out Of The Pet Sematary

Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990), courtesy Paramount Pictures.

Cats are cute.  But they’re also sneaky, conniving, and, sometimes, in the movies, they’re downright murderous.

The cat from the second segment of Tales from the Darkside: The Movie, known only as The Cat From Hell, is so evil, his owner hires a hitman to rub him out.  He’s tougher than that, though.  Not even David Johansen and a $100,000 bounty can stop the Cat.  If The Cat came back from the Pet Sematary, he’d be even more unstoppable.

 

Ramon – Alligator (1980)

Horror Pets To Keep Out Of The Pet Sematary

Alligator (1980), courtesy American Broadcasting Company (ABC).

Ok, so we’ve covered dogs, cats, rats, and even a helper monkey.  Let’s do a reptile.

In Alligator, a baby gator named Ramon is purchased by a teenage girl while on vacation.  The girl grows tired of her pet, so Ramon is flushed down the toilet.  He winds up in the sewers of Chicago, where he grows to monstrous size on a diet of discarded animal carcasses from a nearby agricultural drug test facility.  When the animal corpses dry up, Ramon starts feeding on sewer workers before, finally, leaving the sewers to hunt.  Not that there’s room for a giant gator in the Sematary, but just in case anyone gets any ideas…nope.

 

Hellhound – The Omen (1976)

Horror Pets To Keep Out Of The Pet Sematary

The Omen (1976), courtesy Twentieth Century Fox.

Any good antichrist needs a Hellhound as a protector, and Damien from The Omen has a fierce one.

First showing up at Damien’s fifth birthday party (where the hound psychically convinces Damien’s nanny to commit suicide in front of all of the screaming kids), the Hellhound becomes a faithful and obedient servant over the course of the Omen movies.  The Hellhound is evil enough.  No Sematary needed for him.

 

Black Phillip – The Witch (2015)

Horror Pets To Keep Out Of The Pet Sematary

The Witch (2015), courtesy A24.

Ok, now we’re getting Satanic.  And what’s more Satanic than a black goat, right?

Although he’s not really a pet, Black Phillip is the goat that is owned by the family in The Witch.  He turns out to be much more than just a farm goat, though.  He’s actually the assumed mortal form of Satan himself.  So, he probably doesn’t even need the Pet Sematary to come back to life.  But, just to be safe, we should keep him out of it.

 

Togar – Roar (1981)

Horror Pets To Keep Out Of The Pet Sematary

Roar (1981), courtesy American Filmworks.

Remember everything we said about cats up there?  That goes double for lions.  And Roar was packed full of lions, tigers, panthers, jaguars, and leopards.

Really, any of the carnivorous cats in Roar could be on this list, but Togar, the dominant male lion who challenges pack leader Robbie for control, is the real jerk.  Togar and the rest of his pride cause all kinds of problems for the humans in the movie, both on screen and off.  Of course, he is a lion, and any attempts at domestication should not have been made in the first place, but an (even more) evil Togar would not be good.  No Sematary for him.

 

Mr. Whiskers – The Voices (2014)

Horror Pets To Keep Out Of The Pet Sematary

The Voices (2014), courtesy Lionsgate.

And we’re back to domestic cats.  And Mr. Whiskers from The Voices is the epitome of a “domestic” cat.

Mr. Whiskers isn’t so much evil as he is just an a-hole, which is par for the course.  Still, Whiskers is meaner than average.  He and his dog companion Bosco serve as sort of the devil and the angel on the shoulders of protagonist Jerry, causing him to kill the women he dates.  Or, to be more specific, Whiskers talks him into killing his dates while Bosco tries to get him to stop and turn himself in.  Yeah, without Bosco to reel him in, Whiskers would be out of control.  He should stay out of the Sematary.

 

Have you seen the new Pet Sematary?  Check out our review to see if it lives up to the hype.

 

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‘Strange Darling’ Featuring Kyle Gallner and Willa Fitzgerald Lands Nationwide Release [Watch Clip]

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Strange Darling Kyle Gallner

‘Strange Darling,’ a standout film featuring Kyle Gallner, who is nominated for an iHorror award for his performance in ‘The Passenger,’ and Willa Fitzgerald, has been acquired for a wide theatrical release in the United States by Magenta Light Studios, a new enterprise from veteran producer Bob Yari. This announcement, brought to us by Variety, follows the film’s successful premiere at Fantastic Fest in 2023, where it was universally praised for its creative storytelling and compelling performances, achieving a perfect score of 100% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes from 14 reviews.

Strange Darling – Movie Clip

Directed by JT Mollner, ‘Strange Darling‘ is a thrilling narrative of a spontaneous hookup that takes an unexpected and terrifying turn. The film is notable for its innovative narrative structure and the exceptional acting of its leads. Mollner, known for his 2016 Sundance entry “Outlaws and Angels,” has once again employed 35mm for this project, cementing his reputation as a filmmaker with a distinct visual and narrative style. He is currently involved in adapting Stephen King’s novel “The Long Walk” in collaboration with director Francis Lawrence.

Bob Yari expressed his enthusiasm for the film’s upcoming release, scheduled for August 23rd, highlighting the unique qualities that make ‘Strange Darling’ a significant addition to the horror genre. “We are thrilled to be bringing nationwide theatrical audiences this unique and exceptional film with terrific performances by Willa Fitzgerald and Kyle Gallner. This second feature from talented writer-director JT Mollner is destined to become a cult classic that defies conventional storytelling,” Yari told Variety.

Variety’s review of the film from Fantastic Fest lauds Mollner’s approach, saying, “Mollner shows himself to be more forward-thinking than most of his genre peers. He’s clearly a student of the game, one who studied his forebears’ lessons with adroitness to better prepare himself to put his own mark on them.” This praise underlines Mollner’s deliberate and thoughtful engagement with the genre, promising audiences a film that is both reflective and innovative.

Strange Darling

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Sydney Sweeney’s ‘Barbarella’ Revival Forges Ahead

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Sydney Sweeney Barbarella

Sydney Sweeney has confirmed the ongoing progress of the much-anticipated reboot of Barbarella. The project, which sees Sweeney not only starring but also executive producing, aims to breathe new life into the iconic character that first captured audiences’ imaginations in the 1960s. However, amid speculation, Sweeney remains tight-lipped about the possible involvement of celebrated director Edgar Wright in the project.

During her appearance on the Happy Sad Confused podcast, Sweeney shared her enthusiasm for the project and the character of Barbarella, stating, “It is. I mean, Barbarella is just such a fun character to explore. She really just embraces her femininity and her sexuality, and I love that. She uses sex as a weapon and I think it’s such an interesting way into a sci-fi world. I’ve always wanted to do sci-fi. So we’ll see what happens.“

Sydney Sweeney confirms her Barbarella reboot is still in the works

Barbarella, originally a creation of Jean-Claude Forest for V Magazine in 1962, was transformed into a cinematic icon by Jane Fonda under the direction of Roger Vardim in 1968. Despite a sequel, Barbarella Goes Down, never seeing the light of day, the character has remained a symbol of sci-fi allure and adventurous spirit.

Over the decades, several high-profile names including Rose McGowan, Halle Berry, and Kate Beckinsale were floated as potential leads for a reboot, with directors Robert Rodriguez and Robert Luketic, and writers Neal Purvis and Robert Wade previously attached to revive the franchise. Unfortunately, none of these iterations made it past the conceptual stage.

Barbarella

The film’s progress took a promising turn approximately eighteen months ago when Sony Pictures announced its decision to cast Sydney Sweeney in the titular role, a move that Sweeney herself has suggested was facilitated by her involvement in Madame Web, also under Sony’s banner. This strategic decision was aimed at fostering a beneficial relationship with the studio, specifically with the Barbarella reboot in mind.

When probed about Edgar Wright’s potential directorial role, Sweeney adeptly sidestepped, merely noting that Wright has become an acquaintance. This has left fans and industry watchers speculating about the extent of his involvement, if any, in the project.

Barbarella is known for its adventurous tales of a young woman traversing the galaxy, engaging in escapades that often incorporate elements of sexuality—a theme Sweeney seems eager to explore. Her commitment to reimagining Barbarella for a new generation, while staying true to the character’s original essence, sounds like the making of a great reboot.

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‘The First Omen’ Almost Received an NC-17 Rating

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the first omen trailer

Set for an April 5 theater release, ‘The First Omen’ carries an R-rating, a classification that was almost not achieved. Arkasha Stevenson, in her inaugural feature film directorial role, faced a formidable challenge in securing this rating for the prequel to the esteemed franchise. It seems the filmmakers had to contend with the ratings board to prevent the film from being saddled with an NC-17 rating. In a revealing conversation with Fangoria, Stevenson described the ordeal as ‘a long battle’, one not waged over traditional concerns such as gore. Instead, the crux of the controversy centered around the depiction of the female anatomy.

Stevenson’s vision for “The First Omen” delves deep into the theme of dehumanization, particularly through the lens of forced birthing. “The horror in that situation is how dehumanized that woman is”, Stevenson explains, emphasizing the significance of presenting the female body in a non-sexualized light to address themes of forced reproduction authentically. This commitment to realism nearly landed the film an NC-17 rating, sparking a prolonged negotiation with the MPA. “This has been my life for a year and a half, fighting for the shot. It’s the theme of our film. It’s the female body being violated from the inside outwards”, she states, highlighting the importance of the scene to the film’s core message.

The First Omen Movie Poster – by Creepy Duck Design

Producers David Goyer and Keith Levine supported Stevenson’s battle, encountering what they perceived as a double standard in the ratings process. Levine reveals, “We had to go back and forth with the ratings board five times. Weirdly, avoiding the NC-17 made it more intense”, pointing out how the struggle with the ratings board inadvertently intensified the final product. Goyer adds, “There is more permissiveness when dealing with male protagonists, particularly in body horror”, suggesting a gender bias in how body horror is evaluated.

The film’s bold approach to challenging viewers’ perceptions extends beyond the ratings controversy. Co-writer Tim Smith notes the intention to subvert expectations traditionally associated with The Omen franchise, aiming to surprise audiences with a fresh narrative focus. “One of the big things we were excited to do was to kind of pull the rug out from under people’s expectations”, Smith says, underscoring the creative team’s desire to explore new thematic ground.

Nell Tiger Free, known for her role in “Servant”, leads the cast of “The First Omen”, set for release by 20th Century Studios on April 5. The movie follows a young American woman dispatched to Rome for church service, where she stumbles upon a sinister force that shakes her faith to its core and reveals a chilling plot aimed at summoning evil incarnate.

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