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These Are The Hands Nightmares Are Made Of

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I just had something of a revelation. Hands are kind of scary. They’re often used for violence in the movies and real life, but sometimes they’re just visually creepy. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me. I think it all ties back into the pale green pants and the creepy cartoon shoe dream I had when I was a toddler.

I put on Full Moon’s Netherworld (1992) with the intent of letting it play in the background while I got some stuff done, but it just hooked me in with nostalgia, and yes, a creepy hand. I hadn’t watched this movie in at least a decade. Probably longer. In the early 90s when I was about ten or so, I was all about some Full Moon movies, and Netherworld was always one I had a special place in my heart for, even if I hadn’t given it the time I owed it as I got older.

Instead of accomplishing anything, I started blabbing on Twitter about the movie, about the aforementioned creepy hand, and about other creepy hands in cinema, video games, and music videos. Naturally, it occurred to me I could just make a post about this, so here we are.

Let’s look at some creepy hands.

Netherworld

We might as well start at the source. The hand is really only a small part of the movie, though it’s on the cover. It’s not even the creepiest part of the movie, but the whole concept (which I’m still not sure I entirely understand)  just always stuck in my mind in a visual way. Even through all the years I spent without viewing the film, I would occasionally think back on that hand. Something about it grabbed me (horrible pun not really intended at first, but left in anyway). I remember making a clay model of it in an art class in school, albeit a piss poor one.

Netherworld is a really bizarre movie, and I couldn’t blame anybody for not liking it. I think nostalgia plays a major role in my own feelings about it, but it’s very unique, and there are some other visuals I’ve always found a bit eerie.

[youtube id=”MpMLA9G77q4″ align=”center” mode=”normal” autoplay=”no”]

Wall Masters

Watching the Netherwold hand made me think about the original Legend of Zelda for NES. Remember those hands that came out of the walls occasionally in some of the labyrinths? Those are called Wall Masters, and they are motherfuckers. They take you back to the beginning of the labyrinth, which is a huge pain in the ass. I think that’s part of what made them so scary. They were a real threat. Plus, you know, they’re creepy hands.

You can see them in action at about 2:23 into the following video, though you really have to play it (with the legendary music that accompanies it) to get the full effect. It probably also helps to be eight years old.

[youtube id=”mKfC2tF-Vmc” align=”center” mode=”normal” autoplay=”no”]

Helping Hands

Speaking of labyrinths, the Jim Henson film Labyrinth has some wonderfully creepy hands itself. Sarah, played by Jennifer Connelly, has to choose a door. One of them, she is told, will lead her straight to her destination. The other will lead to certain death. The door she picks turns out to lead her to neither, but does take her to a trap door, which she falls through into a pit of scary, talking, “helping” hands, which catch her and grab at her before forming various faces and talking to her in evil voices. They don’t turn out to be as big of a threat as the Fire Gang, which wants to decapitate her or the fart swamp commonly known as the “Bog of Eternal Stench,” but she does tell them they’re hurting her before they drop her into a pit where she’d rot away if her acquaintance Hoggle didn’t come along.

Labyrinth-hands

Thing

I confess, I never really watched The Addams Family series all that much. I’ve seen it here and there, but I always preferred the Munsters. I did watch the movies, but ultimately, I don’t really have that much to say about Thing other than I think subconsciously he was always my favorite Addams. Honestly, my brain wants to associate Thing more with the Addams NES game Fester’s Quest than anything else, but no list of creepy hands would be complete without the pet hand, would it?

thing00

Jack and Diane

You’ll probably think I’m weird, but something about the white-gloved hands in the John Cougar Mellencamp video for Jack and Diane was always unsettling to me. I think it’s because it just looks like a pair of pale hands in the middle of darkness with nobody attached to them. The song came out when I was one, and the video was played throughout the following years. I grew up in a house where MTV was pretty much always on, so I saw it a lot. For some reason my little brain just didn’t like articles of apparel (gloves, shoes, pants, you name it) that didn’t have people inside them. Of course that didn’t stop me from wanting to watch the video repeatedly.

[youtube id=”h04CH9YZcpI” align=”center” mode=”normal” autoplay=”no”]

Pennywise the Dancing Clown

You know who else had some creepy white-gloved hands? A certain Derry-based clown monster that liked to reach said hands out of books.

pennywise

The Body Politic

Like The Addams Family’s Thing, Clive Barker’s The Body Politic (part of Quicksilver Highway) simply has to be on a list of noteworthy hands. I mean the whole story is about hands. I don’t think I’ve seen this since it originally aired seventeen years ago, so as with Thing, I don’t have a lot to say about it. I do know that being chased by hands is an absolute nightmare-inducing thought.

quicksilver

Ash’s Hand

Obviously a scene as famous as the hand scene in Evil Dead 2 has to be represented here. You know it. You love it. It’s classic slapstick. It’s really too goofy to qualify as creepy, but it is what it is – a hand.

evildead

Fred

And we’ll close with the king of the nightmare hand. You can insert your favorite Freddy glove moment here. The hand reaching up from the bathwater in the first Elm Street would be a wonderful candidate, but I’m going with Dream Warriors, and the scene in which Kirsten goes to turn on the water at her bathroom sink, only to have the knobs grab her hands. They of course turn into Freddy’s hands as he appears in the mirror. That moment where they grab her hands is just chilling. At least it was the first time I saw it.

fred

Got a favorite hand moment?

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Lists

Radio Silence Movies Ranked

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Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett, and Chad Villella are all filmmakers under the collective label called Radio Silence. Bettinelli-Olpin and Gillett are the primary directors under that moniker while Villella produces.

They have gained popularity over the past 13 years and their films have become known as having a certain Radio Silence “signature.” They are bloody, usually contain monsters, and have breakneck action sequences. Their recent film Abigail exemplifies that signature and is perhaps their best film yet. They are currently working on a reboot of John Carpenter’s Escape From New York.

We thought we would go through the list of projects they have directed and rank them from high to low. None of the movies and shorts on this list are bad, they all have their merits. These rankings from top to bottom are just ones we felt showcased their talents the best.

We didn’t include movies they produced but didn’t direct.

Abigail

An update to the second film on this list, Abagail is the natural progression of Radio Silence’s love of lockdown horror. It follows in pretty much the same footsteps of Ready or Not, but manages to go one better — make it about vampires.

Abigail

Ready or Not

This film put Radio Silence on the map. While not as successful at the box office as some of their other films, Ready or Not proved that the team could step outside their limited anthology space and create a fun, thrilling, and bloody adventure-length film.

Ready or Not

Scream (2022)

While Scream will always be a polarizing franchise, this prequel, sequel, reboot — however you want to label it showed just how much Radio Silence knew the source material. It wasn’t lazy or cash-grabby, just a good time with legendary characters we love and new ones who grew on us.

Scream (2022)

Southbound (The Way Out)

Radio Silence tosses their found footage modus operandi for this anthology film. Responsible for the bookend stories, they create a terrifying world in their segment titled The Way Out, which involves strange floating beings and some sort of time loop. It’s kind of the first time we see their work without a shaky cam. If we were to rank this entire film, it would remain at this position on the list.

Southbound

V/H/S (10/31/98)

The film that started it all for Radio Silence. Or should we say the segment that started it all. Even though this isn’t feature-length what they managed to do with the time they had was very good. Their chapter was titled 10/31/98, a found-footage short involving a group of friends who crash what they think is a staged exorcism only to learn not to assume things on Halloween night.

V/H/S

Scream VI

Cranking up the action, moving to the big city and letting Ghostface use a shotgun, Scream VI turned the franchise on its head. Like their first one, this film played with canon and managed to win over a lot of fans in its direction, but alienated others for coloring too far outside the lines of Wes Craven’s beloved series. If any sequel was showing how the trope was going stale it was Scream VI, but it managed to squeeze some fresh blood out of this nearly three-decade mainstay.

Scream VI

Devil’s Due

Fairly underrated, this, Radio Silence’s first feature-length film, is a sampler of things they took from V/H/S. It was filmed in an omnipresent found footage style, showcasing a form of possession, and features clueless men. Since this was their first bonafide major studio job it’s a wonderful touchstone to see how far they have come with their storytelling.

Devil’s Due

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Perhaps the Scariest, Most Disturbing Series of The Year

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You may have never heard of Richard Gadd, but that will probably change after this month. His mini-series Baby Reindeer just hit Netflix and it’s a terrifying deep dive into abuse, addiction, and mental illness. What is even scarier is that it’s based on Gadd’s real-life hardships.

The crux of the story is about a man named Donny Dunn played by Gadd who wants to be a stand-up comedian, but it’s not working out so well thanks to stage fright stemming from his insecurity.

One day at his day job he meets a woman named Martha, played to unhinged perfection by Jessica Gunning, who is instantly charmed by Donny’s kindness and good looks. It doesn’t take long before she nicknames him “Baby Reindeer” and begins to relentlessly stalk him. But that is just the apex of Donny’s problems, he has his own incredibly disturbing issues.

This mini-series should come with a lot of triggers, so just be warned it is not for the faint of heart. The horrors here don’t come from blood and gore, but from physical and mental abuse that go beyond any physiological thriller you may have ever seen.

“It’s very emotionally true, obviously: I was severely stalked and severely abused,” Gadd said to People, explaining why he changed some aspects of the story. “But we wanted it to exist in the sphere of art, as well as protect the people it’s based on.”

The series has gained momentum thanks to positive word-of-mouth, and Gadd is getting used to the notoriety.

“It’s clearly struck a chord,” he told The Guardian. “I really did believe in it, but it’s taken off so quickly that I do feel a bit windswept.”

You can stream Baby Reindeer on Netflix right now.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, please contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or go to rainn.org.

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Movies

The Original ‘Beetlejuice’ Sequel Had an Interesting Location

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beetlejuice in Hawaii Movie

Back in the late ’80s and early ’90s sequels to hit movies weren’t as linear as they are today. It was more like “let’s re-do the situation but in a different location.” Remember Speed 2, or National Lampoon’s European Vacation? Even Aliens, as good as it is, follows a lot of the plot points of the original; people stuck on a ship, an android, a little girl in peril instead of a cat. So it makes sense that one of the most popular supernatural comedies of all time, Beetlejuice would follow the same pattern.

In 1991 Tim Burton was interested in doing a sequel to his 1988 original, it was called Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian:

“The Deetz family moves to Hawaii to develop a resort. Construction begins, and it’s quickly discovered that the hotel will be sitting on top of an ancient burial ground. Beetlejuice comes in to save the day.”

Burton liked the script but wanted some re-writes so he asked then-hot screenwriter Daniel Waters who had just got done contributing to Heathers. He passed on the opportunity so producer David Geffen offered it to Troop Beverly Hills scribe Pamela Norris to no avail.

Eventually, Warner Bros. asked Kevin Smith to punch up Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian, he scoffed at the idea, saying, “Didn’t we say all we needed to say in the first Beetlejuice? Must we go tropical?”

Nine years later the sequel was killed. The studio said Winona Ryder was now too old for the part and an entire re-cast needed to happen. But Burton never gave up, there were a lot of directions he wanted to take his characters, including a Disney crossover.

“We talked about lots of different things,” the director said in Entertainment Weekly. “That was early on when we were going, Beetlejuice and the Haunted MansionBeetlejuice Goes West, whatever. Lots of things came up.”

Fast-forward to 2011 when another script was pitched for a sequel. This time the writer of Burton’s Dark Shadows,  Seth Grahame-Smith was hired and he wanted to make sure the story wasn’t a cash-grabbing remake or reboot. Four years later, in 2015, a script was approved with both Ryder and Keaton saying they would return to their respective roles. In 2017 that script was revamped and then eventually shelved in 2019.

During the time the sequel script was being tossed around in Hollywood, in 2016 an artist named Alex Murillo posted what looked like one-sheets for a Beetlejuice sequel. Although they were fabricated and had no affiliation with Warner Bros. people thought they were real.

Perhaps the virality of the artwork sparked interest in a Beetlejuice sequel once again, and finally, it was confirmed in 2022 Beetlejuice 2 had a green light from a script written by Wednesday writers  Alfred Gough and Miles Millar. The star of that series Jenna Ortega signed on to the new movie with filming starting in 2023. It was also confirmed that Danny Elfman would return to do the score.

Burton and Keaton agreed that the new film titled Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice wouldn’t rely on CGI or other other forms of technology. They wanted the film to feel “handmade.” The film wrapped in November 2023.

It’s been over three decades to come up with a sequel to Beetlejuice. Hopefully, since they said aloha to Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian there has been enough time and creativity to ensure Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice will not only honor the characters, but fans of the original.

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice will open theatrically on September 6.

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