Let’s all get together and wish Kevin Bacon a nice warm happy birthday. Are you guys ready? Get it together because this is for Valentine McKee! Ok, all at once now….HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEVIN BACON! Didn’t that feel good to do it as a team and to celebrate this wonderful occasion, we’re going to be rating his forays into horror from least scary to scariest.
5.The Following (2013)
This show is totally messed up. I watched the first episode and needed a drink and Elvira, Mistress of the Dark to calm me down. Messed up, yes…but scary? Not so much.
Bacon plays Ryan Hardy, an FBI agent who is trying to take down serial killer Joe Caroll (James Purefoy). The problem is, with Manson-like charm, Caroll has activated his hardcore followers around the world to kill and you never know who is part of his cult.
The idea is very good and the first season was very disturbing, but scary it was not. I get more scared watching episodes of Forensic Files.
4. Friday the 13th (1980)
So, this movie is great but I’ve never really considered it scary. In the 80’s,hell yeah this was scary, but this movie is more entertaining than scary by today’s standards. Maybe because the concept of camp counselors being picked off for something that happened in the past is a worn path by this point, but the movie did help lay the groundwork (along with Halloween) for the rules of surviving a horror movie. A great film, but not scary. MOVING ON!
3. Tremors (1990)
While this is absolutely one of the most classic of the movies listed, it’s not the scariest. Don’t get me wrong, I hate insects and insect like creatures (worms are bugs, okay) with the fire of a thousand suns. This movie is scary but it’s also funny and entertaining. Horror comedy may be my favorite subgenre of the industry and the most overdone and underappreciated.
If I lived in BFE desert Nowheresville, USA and a giant worm creature attacked MY town, I’d be shit-my-pants scared.
2. Hollow Man (2000)
Bacon plays Dr. Sebastian Caine, a man on a mission with his team to figure out how to make animals invisible for….reasons. When his experiment needs a new test subject, he offers up himself, not caring about the side effects.
The side effects being non reversible invisibility and homicidal tendencies. The scariest thing in this movie is not Kevin Bacon’s CGI skinless schlong, but his downward spiral toward his ultimate goal. Also, he has to be naked the entire time he’s invisible. That’s a lot of invisible dong making its way around the lab. He probably touched all the equipment with it too.
1. Stir of Echoes (1999)
I don’t give a diddly damn what you say, this movie was scary as shit. Kevin Bacon plays Tom, just a dude at a party with his family until his sister-in-law claims she can hypnotize him. After she does her hypno-mumbo jumbo, Tom starts seeing a dead girl everywhere who wants someone to help her figure out how she died, but could put his own family in danger while doing so.
While I like the scifi storyline more of Hollow Man, supernatural movies are terrifying because it deals with something we have yet to understand. Not to mention, supernatural movies never truly have a happy ending.
What do you think is Kevin Bacon’s scariest movie? Also, if you just can’t get enough Bacon, check out the Tremors reboot TV series coming soon!
(All images besides featured image courtesy of IMDB. Featured image courtesy of Parade)