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Randy’s Rules Revisited: How to Survive Real Life Killers

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We all know the original cardinal rules of horror movies: you won’t survive if you have sex, you won’t survive if you’re drunk or high, and you most definitely will not survive if you go off to investigate a strange noise. Thanks to Randy Meeks (Scream), fanatics that had taken to screaming, “Don’t do that!” at the screen suddenly had a voice on the screen, verbalizing what they already knew. But it’s easy to tell characters that they should be listening to the kooky old gas station attendant warning them of vaguely ominous danger ahead when we’ve already seen several extras get chopped into tiny pieces by a mad man up the road. Without possessing the omnipotence of the audience, we’re all on equal footing because no one expects to suddenly find themselves in a real life horror movie. That’s a good thing, because the “rules” change from one psychopath to the next, and what kept you safe from Dahmer may not help avoiding death at the hands of The Zodiac Killer. Here’s a look at a few notorious serial killers, and what rules of survival we’ve learned from their terrifying reigns.

Lock Your Doors

richardchase

Richard Chase, aka “The Vampire of Sacramento”, would not enter homes with locked doors, but took unlocked homes to be an invitation to enter. Chase was heavily into the vampire mythology and drank the blood of his victims along with various animals to support his “need.” He had claimed 6 victims before intentionally overdosing in a prison cell.

Sobriety is Safety

dahmer

Jeffrey Dahmer was actually banned from a bath house after drugging one victim all the way to an overdose. He didn’t appreciate his sexual partners’ bad habit of moving during the act, and had taken to lacing liquor with sedatives to get that sexy corpse-like feeling. Obviously the victims didn’t expect to get drugged, raped, murdered, and eaten, but think about it: Dahmer had 17 known victims. 17 people made the mistake of trusting a regular looking dude. Keep that in mind the next time you’re hanging with an attractive new acquaintance and they offer to mix you a cocktail.

Unprotected Sex Will Screw You

ameliadyer

Maybe this one is a tiny bit of a stretch, but Amelia Dyer is thought to have killed as many as 400 babies–maybe more–during her “baby farming” career. Presenting herself as a loving, maternal figure, she took a one time payment from single mothers in desperate situations (single motherhood was sort of a bitch in the 1800s) offering to give their child a safe and loving home. What she actually did was starve or strangle the babies and keep the mother’s payment, pocketing it as purely profit. Many of the mothers that gave Dyer their child had hopes of one day reuniting with their children, which obviously never happened.

Trust No One

marybell

Mary Bell is not technically a serial killer as she only claimed 2 lives, but to be fair, that’s a lot to get done in between Saturday morning cartoons. Bell was 10 years old when she strangled her first victim, a 4 year old. Her second victim was not taken until she reached the ripe old age of 11. We’ve all heard the urban legend about the babysitter receiving strange phone calls from someone inquiring as to whether the babysitter has checked on the children, but what if you don’t want to check on the children because they might be armed?!

Clowns Are Bad and Should Be Avoided

gacyclown

Although John Wayne Gacy didn’t murder people while in his “Pogo the Clown” entertainer personality, he performed many events dressed as a fucking clown and if his victim count (over 30) doesn’t make him a monster, his alter ego does. For all you coulrophiles out there, just kidding! (Psst…everyone else…we know clowns are fucking evil.)

Tourists Are Targets

bikinikiller

Charles Sobhraj, aka “The Bikini Killer” totaled over one dozen victims between 1974-1976. His exact victim count is unknown, though most were Western tourists. Sobhraj killed in several countries, and is currently incarcerated in Nepal.

The Mask Doesn’t Always Come Off

shadowsketch

The Doodler is a still unidentified serial killer who operated in California in the 1970s, picking up victims at gay nightclubs and bars. Earning the nickname from his habit of sketching them before engaging in sexual activities and then murdering them, The Doodler has a victim count of 14. Three other individuals survived the attacks, although their reluctance to “out” themselves as gay meant there was no trial, and the identity of the killer is unknown.

 

 

 

 

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Melissa Barrera Says Her ‘Scream’ Contract Never Included a Third Movie

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The Scream franchise has done a major overhaul to its original script for Scream VII after its two main leads departed production. Jenna Ortega who played Tara Carpenter left because she was overly booked and blessed while her co-star Melissa Barrera was fired after making political comments on social media.

But Barrera isn’t regretting any of it. In fact, she is happy where the character arc left off. She played Samantha Carpenter, the latest focus of the Ghostface killer.

Barrera did an exclusive interview with Collider. During their talk, the 33-year-old says she fulfilled her contract and her character Samantha’s arc finished at a good spot, even though it was meant to be a trilogy.

“I feel like the ending of [ Scream VI ] was a very good ending, and so I don’t feel like ‘Ugh, I got left in the middle.’ No, I think people, the fans, were wanting a third movie to continue that arc, and apparently, the plan was a trilogy, even though I was only contracted for two movies.

So, I did my two movies, and I’m fine. I’m good with that. I got two – that’s more than most people get. When you’re on a TV show, and it gets canceled, you can’t harp on things, you gotta move on.

That’s the nature of this industry too, I get excited for the next job, I get excited for the next skin I get to put on. It’s exciting to create a different character. So yeah, I feel good. I did what I set out to do. It was always meant to be two movies for me, ’cause that was my contract, and so everything is perfect.”

The entire production of the original seventh entry has moved on from the Carpenter’s storyline. With a new director and new script, production will resume, including the return of Neve Campbell and Courtney Cox.

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Read Reviews For ‘Abigail’ The Latest From Radio Silence

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The review embargo has lifted for the vampire horror movie Abigail and the reviews are abundantly positive. 

Matt BettinelliOlpin and Tyler Gillett of Radio Silence are getting early praise for their latest horror movie which opens on April 19. Unless you’re Barbie or Oppenheimer the name of the game in Hollywood is about what kind of box office numbers you pull on opening weekend and how much they drop thereafter. Abigail could be this year’s sleeper. 

Radio Silence is no stranger to opening big, their Scream reboot and sequel packed fans into seats on their respective opening dates. The duo are currently working on another reboot, that of 1981’s Kurt Russel cult favorite Escape From New York

Abigail

Now that ticket sales for GodzillaxKong, Dune 2, and Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire have gathered patina, Abigail could knock A24’s current powerhouse Civil War from the top spot, especially if ticket buyers base their purchase off reviews. If it is successful, it could be temporary, since Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone’s action comedy The Fall Guy opens on May 3, just two weeks later.

We have gathered pull quotes (good & bad) from some genre critics on Rotten Tomatoes (score for Abigail currently sits at 85%) to give you an indicator of how they are skewing ahead of its release this weekend. First, the good:

“Abigail is a fun, bloody ride. It also has the most lovable ensemble of morally grey characters this year. The film introduces a new favorite monster into the genre and gives her room to take the biggest swings possible. I lived!” — Sharai Bohannon: A Nightmare On Fierce Street Podcast

“The standout is Weir, commanding the screen despite her small stature and effortlessly switching from apparently helpless, terrified child to savage predator with a mordant sense of humor.” — Michael Gingold: Rue Morgue Magazine

“‘Abigail’ sets the bar as the most fun you can have with a horror movie of the year. In other words, “Abigail” is horror on pointe.” — BJ Colangelo: Slashfilm

“In what may become one of the greatest vampire movies of all time, Abigail provides an extremely bloody, fun, humorous & fresh take on the subgenre.” — Jordan Williams: Screen Rant

“Radio Silence have proven themselves as one of the most exciting, and crucially, fun, voices in the horror genre and Abigail takes this to the next level.” — Rosie Fletcher: Den of Geek

Now, the not-so-good:

“It’s not badly made, just uninspired and played out.” — Simon Abrams: RogerEbert.com

A ‘Ready or Not’ redux running on half the steam, this one-location misfire has plenty of parts that work but its namesake isn’t among them.” –Alison Foreman: indieWire

Let us know if you are planning to see Abigail. If or when you do, give us your hot take in the comments.

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Ernie Hudson To Star In ‘Oswald: Down The Rabbit Hole’

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Ernie Hudson

This is some exciting news! Ernie Hudson (Ghostbusters 1984, The Crow 1994) is set to star in the upcoming horror film titled Oswald: Down The Rabbit Hole. Hudson is set to play the character Oswald Jebediah Coleman who is a brilliant animator that is locked away in a terrifying magical prison. No release date has been announced yet. Check out the announcement trailer and more about the film below.

ANNOUNCEMENT TRAILER FOR OSWALD: DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE

The film follows the story of “Art and some of his closest friends as they help track down his long-lost family lineage. When they find and explore his Great-Grandpa Oswald’s abandoned home, they encounter a magical TV that teleports them to a place lost in time, shrouded by dark Hollywood Magic. The group finds that they are not alone when they discover Oswald’s come-to-life cartoon Rabbit, a dark entity that decides their souls are it’s for the taking. Art and his friends must work together to escape their magical prison before the Rabbit gets to them first.”

First Look Image at Oswald: Down the Rabbit Hole

Ernie Hudson stated that “I am excited to work with everyone on this production. It’s an incredibly creative and smart project.”

Director Stewart also added “I had a very specific vision for Oswald’s character and knew I wanted Ernie for this role from the start, as I’ve always admired iconic cinematic legacy. Ernie is going to bring Oswald’s unique and vengeful spirit to life in the best way possible.”

First Look Image at Oswald: Down the Rabbit Hole

Lilton Stewart III and Lucinda Bruce are teaming up to write and direct the film. It stars actors Ernie Hudson (Ghostbusters 1984, The Crow 1994), Topher Hall (Single Drunk Female 2022), and Yasha Rayzberg (A Rainbow in the Dark 2021). Mana Animation Studio is helping produce the animation, Tandem Post House for post-production, and VFX supervisor Bob Homami is also helping. The budget for the film currently sits at $4.5M.

Official Teaser Poster for Oswald: Down the Rabbit Hole

This is one of many classic childhood stories that are being turned into horror films. This list includes Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 2, Bambi: The Reckoning, Mickey’s Mouse Trap, The Return of Steamboat Willie, and many more. Are you more interested in the film now that Ernie Hudson is attached to star in it? Let us know in the comments below.

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