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Smell Something Funny?… “I was a Teenage Wereskunk”

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Written by Brian Linsky

I was a Teenage Wereskunk is a 2016 horror / comedy that reeks of vintage soda shops,  school letterman jackets, and of course, Wereskunks.

Starring Scott Monahan as Curtis Albright, I was a Teenage Wereskunk pays homage to the classic monster flicks of the 50’s and 60’s, but with a whimsical twist to the traditional format.

If the movie Teen Wolf was bloodier, cruder, and cloned with a skunk… I was a Teenage Wereskunk would be the bastard child born as a result.

I was a Teenage Wereskunk

The retro-style story opens with the crooning of the title theme song, and young lovers Sally and Jerry sitting in their parked car.

When Jerry exits the vehicle at Sally’s request to examine a strange noise outside, he’s viciously decapitated by the Wereskunk, who also tears into Sally as well.

I was a Teenage Wereskunk

Sally and Jerry appear in I was a Teenage Wereskunk

The film then chronologically leaps to the day before, where gawky-eyed teens sit around the ice cream shop sipping on malted shakes and talking about life.

It’s here we first meet Curtis Albright, a clean cut typical teenager, who also happens to be the son of the local Sheriff.

I was a Teenage Wereskunk

Scott Monahan plays Curtis Albright, the lead role in I was a Teenage Wereskunk

Curtis has got his eye on a girl named Mary Beth Pruitt, who’s portrayed by Shey Lyn Zanotti. The two of them have a close friendship, but Curtis hopes to soon take their complicated relationship to the next level.

After walking Mary Beth home one night, Curtis takes a detour which leads to him being sprayed by a skunk. He doesn’t know it at the time, but the encounter will forever change Curtis’ life.

I was a Teenage Wereskunk

Curtis begins to change into the Wereskunk

When Curtis eventually transforms fully into the Wereskunk, we’re taken back to the location of Sally and Jerry’s bloody car, and police are now on the scene.

The wereskunk is more mischievous than murderous at times, but still serves up a respectable amount of carnage while on the run.

I was a Teenage Wereskunk

Curtis must keep the Wereskunk at bay while trying to pursue a relationship with Mary Beth, but he’ll also need to avoid the authorities, and his father’s suspicions in the process.

I was a Teenage Wereskunk

Mary Beth and Sheriff Albright appear in I was a Teenage Wereskunk

Once the Wereskunk’s attacks start becoming more frequent and violent, things really get hairy for Curtis.

Now bodies are beginning to pile up, and even Charles Manson has advice for Curtis along the way, but the cops are hot on his tail and the Wereskunk won’t go down without a fight in this satirical thriller.

I was a Teenage Wereskunk

I was a Teenage Wereskunk

I was a Teenage Wereskunk makes numerous references to the present day, citing things like Harry Potter, Google, and texting,… things which did not yet exist in this era, but this is just another example of the film intentionally mocking itself for the sake of a laugh.

If you’re looking for more of a clever comedy than a conventional horror flick, but still have an appetite for bloodshed, then I was a Teenage Wereskunk is certainly worth a sniff.

You can buy this film on DVD, get it through Amazon, or stream it on demand at iBleedindie.com.

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Another Creepy Spider Movie Hits Shudder This Month

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Good spider films are a theme this year. First, we had Sting and then there was Infested. The former is still in theaters and the latter is coming to Shudder starting April 26.

Infested has been getting some good reviews. People are saying that it’s not only a great creature feature but also a social commentary on racism in France.

According to IMDb: Writer/director Sébastien Vanicek was looking for ideas around the discrimination faced by black and Arab-looking people in France, and that led him to spiders, which are rarely welcome in homes; whenever they’re spotted, they’re swatted. As everyone in the story (people and spiders) is treated like vermin by society, the title came to him naturally.

Shudder has become the gold standard for streaming horror content. Since 2016, the service has been offering fans an expansive library of genre movies. in 2017, they began to stream exclusive content.

Since then Shudder has become a powerhouse in the film festival circuit, buying distribution rights to movies, or just producing some of their own. Just like Netflix, they give a film a short theatrical run before adding it to their library exclusively for subscribers.

Late Night With the Devil is a great example. It was released theatrically on March 22 and will begin streaming on the platform starting April 19.

While not getting the same buzz as Late Night, Infested is a festival favorite and many have said if you suffer from arachnophobia, you might want to take heed before watching it.

Infested

According to the synopsis, our main character, Kalib is turning 30 and dealing with some family issues. “He’s fighting with his sister over an inheritance and has cut ties with his best friend. Fascinated by exotic animals, he finds a venomous spider in a shop and brings it back to his apartment. It only takes a moment for the spider to escape and reproduce, turning the whole building into a dreadful web trap. The only option for Kaleb and his friends is to find a way out and survive.”

The film will be available to watch on Shudder starting April 26.

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Part Concert, Part Horror Movie M. Night Shyamalan’s ‘Trap’ Trailer Released

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In true Shyamalan form, he sets his film Trap inside a social situation where we aren’t sure what is going on. Hopefully, there is a twist at the end. Furthermore, we hope it’s better than the one in his divisive 2021 movie Old.

The trailer seemingly gives away a lot, but, as in the past, you can’t rely on his trailers because they are often red herrings and you are being gaslit to think a certain way. For instance, his movie Knock at the Cabin was completely different than what the trailer implied and if you hadn’t read the book on which the film is based it was still like going in blind.

The plot for Trap is being dubbed an “experience” and we aren’t quite sure what that means. If we were to guess based on the trailer, it’s a concert movie wrapped around a horror mystery. There are original songs performed by Saleka, who plays Lady Raven, a kind of Taylor Swift/Lady Gaga hybrid. They have even set up a Lady Raven website to further the illusion.

Here is the fresh trailer:

According to the synopsis, a father takes his daughter to one of Lady Raven’s jam-packed concerts, “where they realize they’re at the center of a dark and sinister event.”

Written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan, Trap stars Josh Hartnett, Ariel Donoghue, Saleka Shyamalan, Hayley Mills and Allison Pill. The film is produced by Ashwin Rajan, Marc Bienstock and M. Night Shyamalan. The executive producer is Steven Schneider.

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Woman Brings Corpse Into Bank To Sign Loan Papers

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Warning: This is a disturbing story.

You have to be pretty desperate for money to do what this Brazilian woman did at the bank to get a loan. She wheeled in a fresh corpse to endorse the contract and she seemingly thought the bank employees wouldn’t notice. They did.

This weird and disturbing story comes via ScreenGeek an entertainment digital publication. They write that a woman identified as Erika de Souza Vieira Nunes pushed a man she identified as her uncle into the bank pleading with him to sign loan papers for $3,400. 

If you’re squeamish or easily triggered, be aware that the video captured of the situation is disturbing. 

Latin America’s largest commercial network, TV Globo, reported on the crime, and according to ScreenGeek this is what Nunes says in Portuguese during the attempted transaction. 

“Uncle, are you paying attention? You must sign [the loan contract]. If you don’t sign, there’s no way, as I cannot sign on your behalf!”

She then adds: “Sign so you can spare me further headaches; I can’t bear it any longer.” 

At first we thought this might be a hoax, but according to Brazilian police, the uncle, 68-year-old Paulo Roberto Braga had passed away earlier that day.

 “She attempted to feign his signature for the loan. He entered the bank already deceased,” Police Chief Fábio Luiz said in an interview with TV Globo. “Our priority is to continue investigating to identify other family members and gather more information regarding this loan.”

If convicted Nunes could be facing jail time on charges of fraud, embezzlement, and desecration of a corpse.

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