Being a product of the 80’s, I pretty much grew up watching the glorious splendor of the WWF. Yes. I still call it that. It’s purely a nostalgic factor. Chances are, if you grew up around the era of Hulkamania you were a fan as well. Or at least knew something about it. One of my fondest memories as a child, was attending a live taping of of a show. I was in awe of some of my heros. I was I believe about eight years old when I witnessed The Undertaker stuff The Ultimate Warrior in a coffin. I remember a few kids behind my seat crying; fearing the worst for their Ultimate Maniac. I, on the other hand.. Was an avid Undertaker fan. I also was NOT a huge fan of The Warrior, so.. I was laughing quite a bit. I also realized that it was a show. Hence, I thought it was quite funny.
Being a huge fan of horror and wrestling as a kid, seeing a themed wrestler with a horror gimmick attached, was magical for me. It made for a much more interesting story line and show all together. Through the 1990’s we saw quite a few come along, and not so much post “Attitude” era. Which is when, in my opinion, the whole show just went to shit. I find myself watching every so often, for one reason only. And he is included in this list of five of the greatest horror themed wrestlers any fans had the privilege to entertain us.
5. Doink the Clown
Fucken hell. Ok. Let’s talk about this guy. Doink the Clown. He was an average classed wrestler with a lot of popularity mainly based off his wacky crazy clown gimmick in the early nineties. He played that bat shit crazy quite well; and managed to scare up fans who were already suffering from Coulrophobia. One of the most memorable matches that I can recall is Survivor Series ’93 where there was a team of four fucken Doinks. Because one painted nightmare in the ring wasn’t enough. Pro wrestler, Matt Osbourne was the main man behind the makeup. Occasionally there would be stand ins for “Illusion Doinks” and some house shows. He also had a mini me of sorts, Dink the Clown who accompanied the clown to the ring, adding to the shenanigans of pranks the pair would love to pull. The original “Doink” died in June of 2013. RIP Matt Osbourne. You traumatized my childhood successfully in a fun way.
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4. Papa Shango
Oyy the Shango. While the character itself was extremely interesting. It seemed to really go nowhere in the WWE. Papa Shango cut some awesome promos, carried a skull to the ring billowing smoke and could “control” arena lights. Packaged as a voodoo priest, Shango would cast spells on those he chose as victims, making them vomit, bleed and all that jazz. After many failed attempts to get the character off the ground, the actual wrestler Charles Wright went on to reinvent himself through means of a slew of characters before finally becoming The Godfather. Papa Shango left the voodoo life for the Hoe Train. Quite the transition there Charles.
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Now here is a guy that has had quite a colorful career and storyline as well. Yes. Colorful and terrifying. Before stepping out in the WWE in 1997 as The Undertaker’s younger and arguably scarier half brother, Glenn Thomas Jacobs, as he’s known outside of the ring, debuted as Isaac Yankem DDS : Jerry Lawler’s batshit crazy dentist. I’m pretty sure we can all agree that Kane was the better character. Much like The Undertaker, Kane had all the same moves such as the iconic chokeslam and tombstone piledriver. When he wasn’t feuding with the ‘Taker, Kane would team up with him to form The Brothers Of Destruction which resulted in one badass pair of mother fuckers that would send even the toughest competitors in the opposite direction. His entire stint at the WWE up until the present, Kane has 18 championships under his belt. Pretty damn impressive. Kane is undoubtedly one of the more terrifying figures that the Federation has belted out. Also, can we say cheers to the fact he took that persona to the horror movie genre and starred in the horror movie “See No Evil”? Fantastic.
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Even if you are completely wrestling 101 illiterate, chances are you have at least heard of Hall Of Famer Mick Foley. This guy is an absolute legend inside the ring; known for his death defying stunts, which in turn today hasn’t left him in the greatest of shape. Foley has gone by many names and different gimmicks throughout his career, but the one that stands out the most is the unsettling character of Mankind. A mentally deranged schitzo that often sounded like a Velociraptor when he squealed. His character was one that enjoyed pain, often pulling out his hair much to his own amusement. His signature move was the Mandible Claw. The move itself when applied places his middle and ring fingers into the opponent’s mouth, sliding them under the tongue and jabbing into the soft tissue found at the bottom of the mouth. The thumb and/or palm of the same hand is placed under the jaw, and pressure is applied downward by the middle and ring fingers while the thumb/palm forces the jaw upwards. Foley later claimed on a television interview that the painful sensation in the nerves under the tongue is so strong that it inhibits vision and, when applied long enough, can force the opponent to black-out. Yea.. Fuck that. I’d imagine that would be even worse with that damn dirty Socko on his hand.
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1. The Undertaker
I mean.. What can I say that probably already hasn’t been stated about the Phenom? I remember at the youthful age of seven catching my first glimpse of this “Hamhawk” (as Roddy Piper so eloquently described him) at the 1990 Survivor Series. From the creepy entrance to the ring, his wrestling skills and his skilled tactic at of psyching out most of his opponents involving the supernatural, The Undertaker was and still is a force to be reckoned with. With the eerie Paul Bearer at his side, carrying the Urn of Power, Mark Calaway has had one of the longest running careers at the WWE. Unfortunately, Bearer ( Percy Pringle) passed away in 2013 leaving fans mourning his loss and the beloved ever so creepy character was etched in legendary history. Holding five different championships under his belt and his signature move the Tombstone, The ‘Taker held an impressive 21-0 wrestlemania win streak until last year when Brock (the crock) Lesnar hit him with three F-5s and took the win at Wrestlemania 30. It was a shocking decision on McMahon’s part and I personally am still a little salty about it. I mean, the streak had to end sometime I suppose. I honestly feel it should have been towards someone more deserving. Just my opinion.
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Some of you may be asking yourself, ” Why the fuck am I reading about wrestling on iHorror?”
Because the wrestling themes are horror related and I just really felt a nostalgic need to talk about it. So why not?! Really there is no other reason. Who is your favorite out of the bunch?