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Retro Rewind: Freddy Presents the Dream Warriors VHS Ad For Video Stores!

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Written by Patti Pauley

If you think Freddy is gonna settle for another sleazeball video promotion, you must be dreaming!

Well, it’s nice to know if Freddy couldn’t pass his Slasher High exam, he could always make it as a salesman!

Confident Mr. Krueger really knows how to sell himself and at the time, his new feature film the glorious third Nightmare installment Dream Warriors.This once exclusive to video stores promotion served a sole purpose to try and get video store owners to buy bulk copies of a certain film getting ready to hit the market, and usually had the star of said movie or some eye-popping gimmick in the promo to seal the deal. In the case of Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, all was needed was Robert Englund. Hell, we didn’t even require the Freddy makeup, but it sure as shit is an awesome bonus!

 

In the promo, Freddy could sell the overused cliche of a ketchup popsicle to a woman wearing white gloves. He slashes his way through the opening narration to remind retailers that Dream Warriors earned over $25 million dollars in its first two weeks at the box office, with a sum of over $40 million by the end of its theatrical run; marking it the highest-grossing independent horror film to that date. And goes on with confidence to openly admit in pure Freddy charm, that he (Krueger) made that all possible-sucka.

The video also goes on to remind retailers along with Freddy with a presentation board using his glove as a teaching pointer that each Nightmare movie before Dream Warriors moved a combined total of 300,000 VHS rental units up until the time of this 1987 promo. Then moves into a real retro treat showcasing some of Englund’s vintage appearances promoting Dream Warriors such as on the Joan Rivers show, and of course, the goddamn Dokken music video.

Image result for dream warriors dokken gif

 

Regardless of the national treasure that is totally Dream Warriors, you can more about my love for the film here, the floor displays and light up posters that come along with retailers purchase would be enough to empty my damn wallet. Check it out in fantabulous VHS form below, and for your own good, don’t nod off while watching…

 

 

 

If this tickled your retro fuzzies, check out this previous edition of Retro Rewind, of another one of these glorious VHS retailer promos featuring everyone’s favorite Good Guy, Chucky.

 

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Another Creepy Spider Movie Hits Shudder This Month

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Good spider films are a theme this year. First, we had Sting and then there was Infested. The former is still in theaters and the latter is coming to Shudder starting April 26.

Infested has been getting some good reviews. People are saying that it’s not only a great creature feature but also a social commentary on racism in France.

According to IMDb: Writer/director Sébastien Vanicek was looking for ideas around the discrimination faced by black and Arab-looking people in France, and that led him to spiders, which are rarely welcome in homes; whenever they’re spotted, they’re swatted. As everyone in the story (people and spiders) is treated like vermin by society, the title came to him naturally.

Shudder has become the gold standard for streaming horror content. Since 2016, the service has been offering fans an expansive library of genre movies. in 2017, they began to stream exclusive content.

Since then Shudder has become a powerhouse in the film festival circuit, buying distribution rights to movies, or just producing some of their own. Just like Netflix, they give a film a short theatrical run before adding it to their library exclusively for subscribers.

Late Night With the Devil is a great example. It was released theatrically on March 22 and will begin streaming on the platform starting April 19.

While not getting the same buzz as Late Night, Infested is a festival favorite and many have said if you suffer from arachnophobia, you might want to take heed before watching it.

Infested

According to the synopsis, our main character, Kalib is turning 30 and dealing with some family issues. “He’s fighting with his sister over an inheritance and has cut ties with his best friend. Fascinated by exotic animals, he finds a venomous spider in a shop and brings it back to his apartment. It only takes a moment for the spider to escape and reproduce, turning the whole building into a dreadful web trap. The only option for Kaleb and his friends is to find a way out and survive.”

The film will be available to watch on Shudder starting April 26.

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Part Concert, Part Horror Movie M. Night Shyamalan’s ‘Trap’ Trailer Released

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In true Shyamalan form, he sets his film Trap inside a social situation where we aren’t sure what is going on. Hopefully, there is a twist at the end. Furthermore, we hope it’s better than the one in his divisive 2021 movie Old.

The trailer seemingly gives away a lot, but, as in the past, you can’t rely on his trailers because they are often red herrings and you are being gaslit to think a certain way. For instance, his movie Knock at the Cabin was completely different than what the trailer implied and if you hadn’t read the book on which the film is based it was still like going in blind.

The plot for Trap is being dubbed an “experience” and we aren’t quite sure what that means. If we were to guess based on the trailer, it’s a concert movie wrapped around a horror mystery. There are original songs performed by Saleka, who plays Lady Raven, a kind of Taylor Swift/Lady Gaga hybrid. They have even set up a Lady Raven website to further the illusion.

Here is the fresh trailer:

According to the synopsis, a father takes his daughter to one of Lady Raven’s jam-packed concerts, “where they realize they’re at the center of a dark and sinister event.”

Written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan, Trap stars Josh Hartnett, Ariel Donoghue, Saleka Shyamalan, Hayley Mills and Allison Pill. The film is produced by Ashwin Rajan, Marc Bienstock and M. Night Shyamalan. The executive producer is Steven Schneider.

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Woman Brings Corpse Into Bank To Sign Loan Papers

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Warning: This is a disturbing story.

You have to be pretty desperate for money to do what this Brazilian woman did at the bank to get a loan. She wheeled in a fresh corpse to endorse the contract and she seemingly thought the bank employees wouldn’t notice. They did.

This weird and disturbing story comes via ScreenGeek an entertainment digital publication. They write that a woman identified as Erika de Souza Vieira Nunes pushed a man she identified as her uncle into the bank pleading with him to sign loan papers for $3,400. 

If you’re squeamish or easily triggered, be aware that the video captured of the situation is disturbing. 

Latin America’s largest commercial network, TV Globo, reported on the crime, and according to ScreenGeek this is what Nunes says in Portuguese during the attempted transaction. 

“Uncle, are you paying attention? You must sign [the loan contract]. If you don’t sign, there’s no way, as I cannot sign on your behalf!”

She then adds: “Sign so you can spare me further headaches; I can’t bear it any longer.” 

At first we thought this might be a hoax, but according to Brazilian police, the uncle, 68-year-old Paulo Roberto Braga had passed away earlier that day.

 “She attempted to feign his signature for the loan. He entered the bank already deceased,” Police Chief Fábio Luiz said in an interview with TV Globo. “Our priority is to continue investigating to identify other family members and gather more information regarding this loan.”

If convicted Nunes could be facing jail time on charges of fraud, embezzlement, and desecration of a corpse.

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