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Face Off: Leprechaun vs. Jack Frost

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Mhmm, it’s that time of month again: the morning after I’ve gotten into a bar argument with some rando about a battle between two silver screen slashers and use this website as a platform to prove why I’m right.

Last time, we examined two of the darker misters of mayhem in a head to head comparison that took us to some pretty dark places. Psychological torture, deeply depressing back stories, lots o’ blood, and a disturbing insight into a twisted human psyche. This time, we’ve got snowman rape! But hey, it’s festive!

Lubdan (Leprechaun) Vs. Jack Frost (Jack Frost)

Lubdan

Leprechaun

Status: Immortal

Number of victims: >40

Motive: He wants his goddamn gold and/or bride!

Signature: Lubdan’s kills are usually incredibly creative, a little gruesome, and almost always funny. His murders are a lot like what I imagine a fun-loving psychopathic toddler’s would be.

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Best quote: “Scream as you may, scream as you might; if you try to escape, you’ll be dead on this night!”

Weaknesses: Four leaf clovers and wrought iron

Backstory: Lubdan is a leprechaun, the last of his species. His exact age is unknown as in Leprechaun (1993) he claims to be 600 years old, but in the sequel, Leprechaun 2 (1994), he is 2,000 years old. He followed Daniel O’Grady from Ireland to America after O’Grady smuggled his gold to North Dakota. His attempts to take a bride are routinely thwarted, and his gold is constantly getting jacked, so his hostility is a little understandable.

Sexy factor: He’s got an Irish accent. I don’t know how he isn’t swimming in chicks.

Movies: 6 (not counting the 2014 reboot)

Final thought: Yeah, Lubdan was inevitably defeated in every movie, but he always manages to come back, and he makes his moments count! Few other villains have shown such childlike joy and ingenuity when it comes to their killings, let alone create cheekily morbid rhymes while going about their business. Lubdan is a dude that has his priorities in order.

Jack Frost

Jack Frost

Status: Presumably alive in some form

Number of victims: ~70 (38 of those were during his spree as a human serial killer prior to the events of the first movie)

Motive: Partly psychopathic tendencies, partly vengeance against Sheriff Tiler

Signature: None in particular, although some murders are a little more “snowman-y” than others

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Best quote: “Well it ain’t fucking Frosty!”

Weaknesses: Antifreeze (Jack Frost) and bananas (Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman)

Backstory: Jack Frost is a serial killer who evaded capture for five years, killing 38 people across five states, until being brought to justice be Sheriff Sam Tiler. Frost is on his way to his execution on a snowy night when the transportation vehicle collides with a tanker carrying genetic material, and serial killer Jack Frost becomes Jack Frost: Killer Snowman, who begins to rain down carnage on Snowmonton, home of Sheriff Tiler.

Sexy factor: Most of the VHS covers were misleading, depending on the angle you looked at it. The holographic style depicted a friendly, happy snowman until you caught the right tilt–and then a murderous, freaky ass snowman took its place. It was mesmerizing and terrible and awesome and you just can’t look away from Jack Frost.

Movies: 2

Final thought: Jack Frost was as murderous in life as he was in death, and that’s someone you really don’t want to mess around with. Particularly when he proves to be just as deadly a snowman in the tropics as he was in Snowmonton. Jack is a bad man with some deep anger issues, obviously, and a hard time letting go.

The Winner

Leprechaun

Although Frost is a dark, depraved individual, at the end of the day he’s human (albeit a genetically modified one) and he’s letting his emotions run the show. Let it go, dude, what did you expect? You murder that many people, the law is gonna come looking for you. Lubdan is a little less in physical stature, of course, but he beats Frost on nearly every level as he’s immortal (and he came that way!), he manages to have a really good time murdering people, and he’s not afraid to be straight up about what really matters: his gold.

“The path to power is often soiled with innocent blood, and I will let nothing stop me from becoming king. I’ll have power and glory, and a beautiful queen to share it with. Share… Now there’s a word that lies crooked upon me. The very sound of it sends my teeth to grate and conjures up pictures of me gold being carted off to pay for feminine pleasures, leaving me with less than what I want, and what I want is everything. I’ll wed her, bed her and bury her all in the same day. I wonder if her father will pay for the wedding and the funeral?”

Those are the words of a winner.

 

 

 

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Another Creepy Spider Movie Hits Shudder This Month

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Good spider films are a theme this year. First, we had Sting and then there was Infested. The former is still in theaters and the latter is coming to Shudder starting April 26.

Infested has been getting some good reviews. People are saying that it’s not only a great creature feature but also a social commentary on racism in France.

According to IMDb: Writer/director Sébastien Vanicek was looking for ideas around the discrimination faced by black and Arab-looking people in France, and that led him to spiders, which are rarely welcome in homes; whenever they’re spotted, they’re swatted. As everyone in the story (people and spiders) is treated like vermin by society, the title came to him naturally.

Shudder has become the gold standard for streaming horror content. Since 2016, the service has been offering fans an expansive library of genre movies. in 2017, they began to stream exclusive content.

Since then Shudder has become a powerhouse in the film festival circuit, buying distribution rights to movies, or just producing some of their own. Just like Netflix, they give a film a short theatrical run before adding it to their library exclusively for subscribers.

Late Night With the Devil is a great example. It was released theatrically on March 22 and will begin streaming on the platform starting April 19.

While not getting the same buzz as Late Night, Infested is a festival favorite and many have said if you suffer from arachnophobia, you might want to take heed before watching it.

Infested

According to the synopsis, our main character, Kalib is turning 30 and dealing with some family issues. “He’s fighting with his sister over an inheritance and has cut ties with his best friend. Fascinated by exotic animals, he finds a venomous spider in a shop and brings it back to his apartment. It only takes a moment for the spider to escape and reproduce, turning the whole building into a dreadful web trap. The only option for Kaleb and his friends is to find a way out and survive.”

The film will be available to watch on Shudder starting April 26.

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Part Concert, Part Horror Movie M. Night Shyamalan’s ‘Trap’ Trailer Released

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In true Shyamalan form, he sets his film Trap inside a social situation where we aren’t sure what is going on. Hopefully, there is a twist at the end. Furthermore, we hope it’s better than the one in his divisive 2021 movie Old.

The trailer seemingly gives away a lot, but, as in the past, you can’t rely on his trailers because they are often red herrings and you are being gaslit to think a certain way. For instance, his movie Knock at the Cabin was completely different than what the trailer implied and if you hadn’t read the book on which the film is based it was still like going in blind.

The plot for Trap is being dubbed an “experience” and we aren’t quite sure what that means. If we were to guess based on the trailer, it’s a concert movie wrapped around a horror mystery. There are original songs performed by Saleka, who plays Lady Raven, a kind of Taylor Swift/Lady Gaga hybrid. They have even set up a Lady Raven website to further the illusion.

Here is the fresh trailer:

According to the synopsis, a father takes his daughter to one of Lady Raven’s jam-packed concerts, “where they realize they’re at the center of a dark and sinister event.”

Written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan, Trap stars Josh Hartnett, Ariel Donoghue, Saleka Shyamalan, Hayley Mills and Allison Pill. The film is produced by Ashwin Rajan, Marc Bienstock and M. Night Shyamalan. The executive producer is Steven Schneider.

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Woman Brings Corpse Into Bank To Sign Loan Papers

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Warning: This is a disturbing story.

You have to be pretty desperate for money to do what this Brazilian woman did at the bank to get a loan. She wheeled in a fresh corpse to endorse the contract and she seemingly thought the bank employees wouldn’t notice. They did.

This weird and disturbing story comes via ScreenGeek an entertainment digital publication. They write that a woman identified as Erika de Souza Vieira Nunes pushed a man she identified as her uncle into the bank pleading with him to sign loan papers for $3,400. 

If you’re squeamish or easily triggered, be aware that the video captured of the situation is disturbing. 

Latin America’s largest commercial network, TV Globo, reported on the crime, and according to ScreenGeek this is what Nunes says in Portuguese during the attempted transaction. 

“Uncle, are you paying attention? You must sign [the loan contract]. If you don’t sign, there’s no way, as I cannot sign on your behalf!”

She then adds: “Sign so you can spare me further headaches; I can’t bear it any longer.” 

At first we thought this might be a hoax, but according to Brazilian police, the uncle, 68-year-old Paulo Roberto Braga had passed away earlier that day.

 “She attempted to feign his signature for the loan. He entered the bank already deceased,” Police Chief Fábio Luiz said in an interview with TV Globo. “Our priority is to continue investigating to identify other family members and gather more information regarding this loan.”

If convicted Nunes could be facing jail time on charges of fraud, embezzlement, and desecration of a corpse.

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