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Etiquette! At the Theater (A Brief Guide to Not Being THAT GUY)

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There’s nothing better than a horror movie in the theater. The surround sound, the giant screen and comfy chairs. The movie is building up to a scare and the whole theater can feel it. The tension is mounting, the killer is ready to make his move when-

“Sorry, excuse me, excuse me, just gonna squeeze past you.”

Are you goddamn kidding me?! The moment comes crashing down faster than a hatchet through a skullcap.

Want to make sure you never do this to any of your fellow innocent movie goers? Read on and learn some handy dandy movie theater etiquette.

Rolling Stone

Know When to Pick an Aisle Seat

Do you know you get up to use the bathroom a lot? Will you be frequenting the concession stand? Did you bring small children to the new Halloween movie (if so please see my next point)? Are you late to the movie?

If any of these apply to you, please sit close to the aisle. No one likes having to get up a bunch of times or having you awkwardly shuffle your ass in front of their face as you come and go. It’s distracting and uncomfortable for everyone involved.

Mummy Pages

Don’t Bring Your Children to a Scary Movie

I mean, this should go without saying, right? I get that babysitters are expensive and you think they won’t know what’s going on anyway and you really want to see the movie, but come on.

Movies are an increasingly expensive night out and I don’t want to hear your child start crying if the movie is too scary, or giggling at a scary movie sex scene. Also, scary movies probably aren’t the best thing for your kid to be watching. Unless you want them writing for iHorror when they grow up.

Geek Tyrant

Shut the Hell Up

Gasps, exclamations, and screams are all welcome at scary movies. But talking to the characters on screen and whispering to your friends are party fouls. If I hear you yell “He’s behind you!”, guess what. I’ll be behind you. Dumping my soda over your head.

Digital Trends

Yes, I Can See You Texting

Don’t be that guy. Even if you dim the brightness on your screen, I can still see you and so can everyone else. If someone texts you and you can’t stop wondering what it could be, duck down and give it a quick glance under your jacket to ease your mind.

Emergency? Leave. No? Don’t engage in a conversation. Pretty simple. And save the Facebook check in for after the film.

Civilized Life

Keep the PDA to a Minumum

Hand holding and cuddling at a scary movie is one of life’s simple pleasures. But for the love of God no one wants to hear you sucking face. That’s not the kind of fear and disgust we’re looking for at the movies.

The Choice Architect

Leave Only Footprints

Did you enjoy your large popcorn, nachos and soda? Great! Show your appreciation by throwing your empties in the trash instead of leaving them for your fellow movie goers to kick over and trip on as they leave the aisle. The poor kid sweeping up the theater is going to be there long enough sweeping all those kernels you dropped by accident, don’t add more on top of it.

If you can abide by these basic rules of movie theater etiquette, congratulations! You’re a pillar of movie morals. Please feel free to see a movie in the same theater as me any time. If you can’t abide by these rules, I hear our local libraries have DVDs.

 

What’s your worst experience with someone breaking the unwritten rules of the movie theater? Let us know in the comments and remember, don’t be that guy!

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Childhood Memories Collide in New Horror Film ‘Poohniverse: Monsters Assemble’

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It looks like ITN Studious and Jagged Edge Productions are going the Avengers: Infinity War route with their upcoming film Poohniverse: Monsters Assemble. From the deranged mind of Rhys Frake-Waterfield (Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey) comes this belligerent mash up of beloved childhood icons.

According to an article out of Variety today, Poohniverse: Monsters Assemble will consist of Winnie the Pooh, Bambi, Tinkerbell, Pinocchio, Peter Pan, Tigger, Piglet, The Mad Hatter, and Sleeping Beauty. All of these iconic figured will be warped into nightmarish versions of their former selves. Poohniverse: Monsters Assemble is set to be released upon the world sometime in 2025.

Poohniverse

Actor-producer Scott Chambers (Malevolent) had the following to say about Poohniverse: Monsters Assemble. “As horror fans, we would love an Avengers that is all villains. It’d have Freddy Krueger, Jason, ‘Halloween,’ ‘Scream,’ all of those. Obviously that will never happen, but we can make it happen in our own little way, and that’s where this film has been born.”

Poohniverse: Monsters Assemble will be a part of The Twisted Childhood Universe. Just like the MCU, each character will first get a standalone film. After introductions are made, they will be reunited in an Avengers style film. Although they will be killing off the survivors from the previous films, they won’t be working together.

Chambers describes this as an “epic sequences of monster vs. monster.” And I don’t know what more fans could ask of the studio. This fantastical idea is a huge risk but Poohniverse: Monsters Assemble sounds amazing.

That’s all the information we have at this time. Check back here for more updates on Poohniverse: Monsters Assemble. If you haven’t already, check out the trailer for Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 2 below.

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Blumhouse’s ‘The Wolf Man’ Reboot Kicks Off Production with Leigh Whannell at the Helm

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Blumhouse Productions has officially commenced filming its reboot of the Universal Monsters legend, “Wolf Man”. Under the direction of Leigh Whannell, known for his acclaimed work on “The Invisible Man” (2020), the project promises to breathe new life into the iconic tale. The film is slated for a theatrical release on October 25th, marking a new chapter in the storied franchise.

Wolf Man

The journey of a “Wolf Man” reboot began in 2020 when actor Ryan Gosling presented a fresh take on the classic story to Universal. This concept quickly evolved into a screenplay crafted by the talented duo Lauren Schuker Blum and Rebecca Angelo, who are known for their work on “Orange Is the New Black,” alongside contributions from Whannell and Corbett Tuck. The narrative is set in contemporary times, drawing inspiration from the atmospheric tension of Jake Gyllenhaal’s “Nightcrawler,” albeit with a distinct supernatural twist.

The film has seen its share of directorial and casting shifts, with Whannell initially signing on to direct in 2020, only to step away and then return to the project after Ryan Gosling and director Derek Cianfrance exited. The lead roles have been filled by Christopher Abbott and Julia Garner, both of whom bring significant talent to the screen. Abbott portrays a man whose family faces the terror of a lethal predator, with Garner likely playing his wife, sharing in the familial peril. The storyline also hints at a daughter named Ginger, adding a layer of depth to the family’s harrowing experience.

Julia Garner and Christopher Abbott

This reboot represents a collaboration between Blumhouse and Motel Movies, with Jason Blum producing. Ryan Gosling remains involved as an executive producer, alongside Ken Kao, Bea Sequeira, Mel Turner, and Whannell himself. The announcement of the film’s production start was made by Jason Blum, who shared an exciting glimpse of Whannell on set, signaling the beginning of what is hoped to be a memorable addition to the horror genre.

As the “Wolf Man” reboot moves forward, fans and newcomers alike are eager to see how this modern interpretation will pay homage to its roots while offering a fresh and thrilling experience. With a talented cast and crew at the helm, the film is poised to reintroduce the timeless tale of transformation and terror to a new generation.

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‘Immaculate’ Stars Reveal Which Horror Villains They Would “F, Marry, Kill”

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Sydney Sweeney is just coming off the success of her rom-com Anyone But You, but she’s ditching the love story for a horror story in her latest film Immaculate.

Sweeney is taking Hollywood by storm, portraying everything from a love-lusting teenager in Euphoria to an accidental superhero in Madame Web. Although the latter got a lot of hate among theater-goers, Immaculate is getting the polar opposite.

The film was screened at SXSW this past week and was well-received. It also gained a reputation for being extremely gory. Derek Smith of Slant says the, “final act contains some of the most twisted, gory violence this particular subgenre of horror has seen in years…”

Thankfully curious horror movie fans won’t have to wait long to see for themselves what Smith is talking about as Immaculate will hit theaters across the United States on March, 22.

Bloody Disgusting says that the movie’s distributor NEON, in a bit of marketing smarts, had stars Sydney Sweeney and Simona Tabasco play a game of “F, Marry, Kill” in which all their choices had to be horror movie villains.

It’s an interesting question, and you might be surprised at their answers. So colorful are their responses that YouTube slapped an age-restricted rating on the video.

Immaculate is a religious horror movie that NEON says stars Sweeney, “as Cecilia, an American nun of devout faith, embarking on a new journey in a remote convent in the picturesque Italian countryside. Cecilia’s warm welcome quickly devolves into a nightmare as it becomes clear her new home harbors a sinister secret and unspeakable horrors.”

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