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Randy’s Rules Revisited: How to Survive Real Life Killers

Published

9 years ago

November 28, 2014

We all know the original cardinal rules of horror movies: you won’t survive if you have sex, you won’t survive if you’re drunk or high, and you most definitely will not survive if you go off to investigate a strange noise. Thanks to Randy Meeks (Scream), fanatics that had taken to screaming, “Don’t do that!” at the screen suddenly had a voice on the screen, verbalizing what they already knew. But it’s easy to tell characters that they should be listening to the kooky old gas station attendant warning them of vaguely ominous danger ahead when we’ve already seen several extras get chopped into tiny pieces by a mad man up the road. Without possessing the omnipotence of the audience, we’re all on equal footing because no one expects to suddenly find themselves in a real life horror movie. That’s a good thing, because the “rules” change from one psychopath to the next, and what kept you safe from Dahmer may not help avoiding death at the hands of The Zodiac Killer. Here’s a look at a few notorious serial killers, and what rules of survival we’ve learned from their terrifying reigns.

Lock Your Doors

Richard Chase, aka “The Vampire of Sacramento”, would not enter homes with locked doors, but took unlocked homes to be an invitation to enter. Chase was heavily into the vampire mythology and drank the blood of his victims along with various animals to support his “need.” He had claimed 6 victims before intentionally overdosing in a prison cell.

Sobriety is Safety

Jeffrey Dahmer was actually banned from a bath house after drugging one victim all the way to an overdose. He didn’t appreciate his sexual partners’ bad habit of moving during the act, and had taken to lacing liquor with sedatives to get that sexy corpse-like feeling. Obviously the victims didn’t expect to get drugged, raped, murdered, and eaten, but think about it: Dahmer had 17 known victims. 17 people made the mistake of trusting a regular looking dude. Keep that in mind the next time you’re hanging with an attractive new acquaintance and they offer to mix you a cocktail.

Unprotected Sex Will Screw You

Maybe this one is a tiny bit of a stretch, but Amelia Dyer is thought to have killed as many as 400 babies–maybe more–during her “baby farming” career. Presenting herself as a loving, maternal figure, she took a one time payment from single mothers in desperate situations (single motherhood was sort of a bitch in the 1800s) offering to give their child a safe and loving home. What she actually did was starve or strangle the babies and keep the mother’s payment, pocketing it as purely profit. Many of the mothers that gave Dyer their child had hopes of one day reuniting with their children, which obviously never happened.

Trust No One

Mary Bell is not technically a serial killer as she only claimed 2 lives, but to be fair, that’s a lot to get done in between Saturday morning cartoons. Bell was 10 years old when she strangled her first victim, a 4 year old. Her second victim was not taken until she reached the ripe old age of 11. We’ve all heard the urban legend about the babysitter receiving strange phone calls from someone inquiring as to whether the babysitter has checked on the children, but what if you don’t want to check on the children because they might be armed?!

Clowns Are Bad and Should Be Avoided

Although John Wayne Gacy didn’t murder people while in his “Pogo the Clown” entertainer personality, he performed many events dressed as a fucking clown and if his victim count (over 30) doesn’t make him a monster, his alter ego does. For all you coulrophiles out there, just kidding! (Psst…everyone else…we know clowns are fucking evil.)

Tourists Are Targets

Charles Sobhraj, aka “The Bikini Killer” totaled over one dozen victims between 1974-1976. His exact victim count is unknown, though most were Western tourists. Sobhraj killed in several countries, and is currently incarcerated in Nepal.

The Mask Doesn’t Always Come Off

The Doodler is a still unidentified serial killer who operated in California in the 1970s, picking up victims at gay nightclubs and bars. Earning the nickname from his habit of sketching them before engaging in sexual activities and then murdering them, The Doodler has a victim count of 14. Three other individuals survived the attacks, although their reluctance to “out” themselves as gay meant there was no trial, and the identity of the killer is unknown.

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News

Win a Stay at The Lizzie Borden House From Spirit Halloween

Published

8 mins ago

April 25, 2024

Timothy Rawles

Spirit Halloween has declared that this week marks the start of spooky season and to celebrate they are offering fans a chance to stay at the Lizzie Borden House with so many perks Lizzie herself would approve.

The Lizzie Borden House in Fall River, MA is claimed to be one of the most haunted houses in America. Of course one lucky winner and up to 12 of their friends will find out if the rumors are true if they win the grand prize: A private stay in the notorious house.

“We are delighted to work with Spirit Halloween to roll out the red carpet and offer the public a chance to win a one-of-a-kind experience at the infamous Lizzie Borden House, which also includes additional haunted experiences and merchandise,” said Lance Zaal, President & Founder of US Ghost Adventures.

Fans can enter to win by following Spirit Halloween‘s Instagram and leaving a comment on the contest post from now through April 28.

The prize also includes:

An exclusive guided house tour, including insider insight around the murder, the trial, and commonly reported hauntings

A late-night ghost tour, complete with professional ghost-hunting gear

A private breakfast in the Borden family dining room

A ghost hunting starter kit with two pieces of Ghost Daddy Ghost Hunting Gear and a lesson for two at US Ghost Adventures Ghost Hunting Course

The ultimate Lizzie Borden gift package, featuring an official hatchet, the Lizzie Borden board game, Lily the Haunted Doll, and America’s Most Haunted Volume II

Winner’s choice of a Ghost Tour experience in Salem or a True Crime experience in Boston for two

“Our Halfway to Halloween celebration provides fans an exhilarating taste of what’s to come this fall and empowers them to start planning for their favorite season as early as they please,” said Steven Silverstein, CEO of Spirit Halloween. “We have cultivated an incredible following of enthusiasts who embody the Halloween lifestyle, and we’re thrilled to bring the fun back to life.”

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Spirit Halloween is also preparing for their retail haunted houses. On Thursday, August 1 their flagship store in Egg Harbor Township, NJ. will officially open to start off the season. That event usually draws in hordes of people eager to see what new merch, animatronics, and exclusive IP goods will be trending this year.

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Movies

’28 Years Later’ Trilogy Taking Shape With Serious Star Power

Published

2 hours ago

April 25, 2024

Timothy Rawles

Danny Boyle is revisiting his 28 Days Later universe with three new films. He will direct the first, 28 Years Later, with two more to follow. Deadline is reporting that sources say Jodie Comer, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, and Ralph Fiennes have been cast for the first entry, a sequel to the original. Details are being kept under wraps so we don’t know how or if the first original sequel 28 Weeks Later fits into the project.

**Jodie Comer, Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Ralph Fiennes**

Boyle will direct the first movie but it’s unclear which role he will take on in the subsequent films. What is known is Candyman (2021) director Nia DaCosta is scheduled to direct the second film in this trilogy and that the third will be filmed immediately afterward. Whether DaCosta will direct both is still unclear.

Alex Garland is writing the scripts. Garland is having a successful time at the box office right now. He wrote and directed the current action/thriller Civil War which was just knocked out of the theatrical top spot by Radio Silence’s Abigail.

There is no word yet on when, or where, 28 Years Later will start production.

^{28 Days Later}

The original film followed Jim (Cillian Murphy) who wakes from a coma to find that London is currently dealing with a zombie outbreak.

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News

Watch ‘The Burning’ At The Location Where It Was Filmed

Published

20 hours ago

April 24, 2024

Timothy Rawles

Fangoria is reporting that fans of the 1981 slasher The Burning will be able to have a screening of the film at the location where it was filmed. The movie is set at Camp Blackfoot which is actually the Stonehaven Nature Preserve in Ransomville, New York.

This ticketed event will take place on August 3. Guests will be able to take a tour of the grounds as well as enjoy some campfire snacks along with the screening of The Burning.

The Burning

The film came out in the early ’80s when teen slashers were being churned out in magnum force. Thanks to Sean S. Cunningham’s Friday the 13th, filmmakers wanted to get in on the low-budget, high-profit movie market and a casket load of these types of films were produced, some better than others.

The Burning is one of the good ones, mostly because of the special effects from Tom Savini who had just come off of his groundbreaking work on Dawn of the Dead and Friday the 13th. He declined to do the sequel because of its illogical premise and instead signed on to do this movie. Also, a young Jason Alexander who would later go on to play George in Seinfeld is a featured player.

Because of its practical gore, The Burning had to be heavily edited before it received an R-rating. The MPAA was under the thumb of protest groups and political bigwigs to censor violent films at the time because slashers were just so graphic and detailed in their gore.

Tickets are $50, and if you want a special t-shirt, that will cost you another $25, You can get all the information by visiting the On Set Cinema webpage.