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These Are The Hands Nightmares Are Made Of

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I just had something of a revelation. Hands are kind of scary. They’re often used for violence in the movies and real life, but sometimes they’re just visually creepy. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me. I think it all ties back into the pale green pants and the creepy cartoon shoe dream I had when I was a toddler.

I put on Full Moon’s Netherworld (1992) with the intent of letting it play in the background while I got some stuff done, but it just hooked me in with nostalgia, and yes, a creepy hand. I hadn’t watched this movie in at least a decade. Probably longer. In the early 90s when I was about ten or so, I was all about some Full Moon movies, and Netherworld was always one I had a special place in my heart for, even if I hadn’t given it the time I owed it as I got older.

Instead of accomplishing anything, I started blabbing on Twitter about the movie, about the aforementioned creepy hand, and about other creepy hands in cinema, video games, and music videos. Naturally, it occurred to me I could just make a post about this, so here we are.

Let’s look at some creepy hands.

Netherworld

We might as well start at the source. The hand is really only a small part of the movie, though it’s on the cover. It’s not even the creepiest part of the movie, but the whole concept (which I’m still not sure I entirely understand)  just always stuck in my mind in a visual way. Even through all the years I spent without viewing the film, I would occasionally think back on that hand. Something about it grabbed me (horrible pun not really intended at first, but left in anyway). I remember making a clay model of it in an art class in school, albeit a piss poor one.

Netherworld is a really bizarre movie, and I couldn’t blame anybody for not liking it. I think nostalgia plays a major role in my own feelings about it, but it’s very unique, and there are some other visuals I’ve always found a bit eerie.

[youtube id=”MpMLA9G77q4″ align=”center” mode=”normal” autoplay=”no”]

Wall Masters

Watching the Netherwold hand made me think about the original Legend of Zelda for NES. Remember those hands that came out of the walls occasionally in some of the labyrinths? Those are called Wall Masters, and they are motherfuckers. They take you back to the beginning of the labyrinth, which is a huge pain in the ass. I think that’s part of what made them so scary. They were a real threat. Plus, you know, they’re creepy hands.

You can see them in action at about 2:23 into the following video, though you really have to play it (with the legendary music that accompanies it) to get the full effect. It probably also helps to be eight years old.

[youtube id=”mKfC2tF-Vmc” align=”center” mode=”normal” autoplay=”no”]

Helping Hands

Speaking of labyrinths, the Jim Henson film Labyrinth has some wonderfully creepy hands itself. Sarah, played by Jennifer Connelly, has to choose a door. One of them, she is told, will lead her straight to her destination. The other will lead to certain death. The door she picks turns out to lead her to neither, but does take her to a trap door, which she falls through into a pit of scary, talking, “helping” hands, which catch her and grab at her before forming various faces and talking to her in evil voices. They don’t turn out to be as big of a threat as the Fire Gang, which wants to decapitate her or the fart swamp commonly known as the “Bog of Eternal Stench,” but she does tell them they’re hurting her before they drop her into a pit where she’d rot away if her acquaintance Hoggle didn’t come along.

Labyrinth-hands

Thing

I confess, I never really watched The Addams Family series all that much. I’ve seen it here and there, but I always preferred the Munsters. I did watch the movies, but ultimately, I don’t really have that much to say about Thing other than I think subconsciously he was always my favorite Addams. Honestly, my brain wants to associate Thing more with the Addams NES game Fester’s Quest than anything else, but no list of creepy hands would be complete without the pet hand, would it?

thing00

Jack and Diane

You’ll probably think I’m weird, but something about the white-gloved hands in the John Cougar Mellencamp video for Jack and Diane was always unsettling to me. I think it’s because it just looks like a pair of pale hands in the middle of darkness with nobody attached to them. The song came out when I was one, and the video was played throughout the following years. I grew up in a house where MTV was pretty much always on, so I saw it a lot. For some reason my little brain just didn’t like articles of apparel (gloves, shoes, pants, you name it) that didn’t have people inside them. Of course that didn’t stop me from wanting to watch the video repeatedly.

[youtube id=”h04CH9YZcpI” align=”center” mode=”normal” autoplay=”no”]

Pennywise the Dancing Clown

You know who else had some creepy white-gloved hands? A certain Derry-based clown monster that liked to reach said hands out of books.

pennywise

The Body Politic

Like The Addams Family’s Thing, Clive Barker’s The Body Politic (part of Quicksilver Highway) simply has to be on a list of noteworthy hands. I mean the whole story is about hands. I don’t think I’ve seen this since it originally aired seventeen years ago, so as with Thing, I don’t have a lot to say about it. I do know that being chased by hands is an absolute nightmare-inducing thought.

quicksilver

Ash’s Hand

Obviously a scene as famous as the hand scene in Evil Dead 2 has to be represented here. You know it. You love it. It’s classic slapstick. It’s really too goofy to qualify as creepy, but it is what it is – a hand.

evildead

Fred

And we’ll close with the king of the nightmare hand. You can insert your favorite Freddy glove moment here. The hand reaching up from the bathwater in the first Elm Street would be a wonderful candidate, but I’m going with Dream Warriors, and the scene in which Kirsten goes to turn on the water at her bathroom sink, only to have the knobs grab her hands. They of course turn into Freddy’s hands as he appears in the mirror. That moment where they grab her hands is just chilling. At least it was the first time I saw it.

fred

Got a favorite hand moment?

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Russell Crowe To Star in Another Exorcism Movie & It’s Not a Sequel

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Maybe it’s because The Exorcist just celebrated its 50th-anniversary last year, or maybe it’s because aging Academy Award-winning actors aren’t too proud to take on obscure roles, but Russell Crowe is visiting the Devil once again in yet another possession film. And it’s not related to his last one, The Pope’s Exorcist.

According to Collider, the film titled The Exorcism was originally going to be released under the name The Georgetown Project. Rights for its North American release were once in the hands of Miramax but then went to Vertical Entertainment. It will release on June 7 in theaters then head over to Shudder for subscribers.

Crowe will also star in this year’s upcoming Kraven the Hunter which is set to drop in theaters on August 30.

As for The Exorcism, Collider provides us with what it’s about:

“The film centers around actor Anthony Miller (Crowe), whose troubles come to the forefront as he shoots a supernatural horror movie. His estranged daughter (Ryan Simpkins) has to figure out whether he’s lapsing into his past addictions, or if something even more horrific is occurring. “

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New F-Bomb Laden ‘Deadpool & Wolverine’ Trailer: Bloody Buddy Movie

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Deadpool & Wolverine might be the buddy movie of the decade. The two heterodox superheroes are back in the latest trailer for the summer blockbuster, this time with more f-bombs than a gangster film.

‘Deadpool & Wolverine’ Movie Trailer

This time the focus is on Wolverine played by Hugh Jackman. The adamantium-infused X-Man is having a bit of a pity party when Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) arrives on the scene who then tries to convince him to team up for selfish reasons. The result is a profanity-filled trailer with a Strange surprise at the end.

Deadpool & Wolverine is one of the most anticipated movies of the year. It comes out on July 26. Here is the latest trailer, and we suggest if you are at work and your space isn’t private, you might want to put in headphones.

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Original Blair Witch Cast Ask Lionsgate for Retroactive Residuals in Light of New Film

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The Blair Witch Project Cast

Jason Blum is planning to reboot The Blair Witch Project for the second time. That’s a fairly large task considering none of the reboots or sequels have managed to capture the magic of the 1999 film that brought found footage into the mainstream.

This idea has not been lost on the original Blair Witch cast, who has recently reached out to Lionsgate to ask for what they feel is fair compensation for their role in the pivotal film. Lionsgate gained access to The Blair Witch Project in 2003 when they purchased Artisan Entertainment.

Blair witch
The Blair Witch Project Cast

However, Artisan Entertainment was an independent studio before its purchase, meaning the actors were not part of SAG-AFTRA. As a result, the cast are not entitled to the same residuals from the project as actors in other major films. The cast doesn’t feel that the studio should be able to continue to profit off of their hard work and likenesses without fair compensation.

Their most recent request asks for “meaningful consultation on any future ‘Blair Witch’ reboot, sequel, prequel, toy, game, ride, escape room, etc., in which one could reasonably assume that Heather, Michael & Josh’s names and/or likenesses will be associated for promotional purposes in the public sphere.”

The blair witch project

At this time, Lionsgate has not offered any comment about this issue.

The full statement made by the cast can be found below.

OUR ASKS OF LIONSGATE (From Heather, Michael & Josh, stars of “The Blair Witch Project”):

1. Retroactive + future residual payments to Heather, Michael and Josh for acting services rendered in the original BWP, equivalent to the sum that would’ve been allotted through SAG-AFTRA, had we had proper union or legal representation when the film was made.

2. Meaningful consultation on any future Blair Witch reboot, sequel, prequel, toy, game, ride, escape room, etc…, in which one could reasonably assume that Heather, Michael & Josh’s names and/or likenesses will be associated for promotional purposes in the public sphere.

Note: Our film has now been rebooted twice, both times were a disappointment from a fan/box office/critical perspective. Neither of these films were made with significant creative input from the original team. As the insiders who created the Blair Witch and have been listening to what fans love & want for 25 years, we’re your single greatest, yet thus-far un-utilized secret-weapon!

3. “The Blair Witch Grant”: A 60k grant (the budget of our original movie), paid out yearly by Lionsgate, to an unknown/aspiring genre filmmaker to assist in making theirfirst feature film. This is a GRANT, not a development fund, hence Lionsgate will not own any of the underlying rights to the project.

A PUBLIC STATEMENT FROM THE DIRECTORS & PRODUCERS OF “THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT”:

As we near the 25th anniversary of The Blair Witch Project, our pride in the storyworld we created and the film we produced is reaffirmed by the recent announcement of a reboot by horror icons Jason Blum and James Wan.

While we, the original filmmakers, respect Lionsgate’s right to monetize the intellectual property as it sees fit, we must highlight the significant contributions of the original cast — Heather Donahue, Joshua Leonard, and Mike Williams. As the literal faces of what has become a franchise, their likenesses, voices, and real names are inseparably tied to The Blair Witch Project. Their unique contributions not only defined the film’s authenticity but continue to resonate with audiences around the world.

We celebrate our film’s legacy, and equally, we believe the actors deserve to be celebrated for their enduring association with the franchise.

Sincerely, Eduardo Sanchez, Dan Myrick, Gregg Hale, Robin Cowie, and Michael Monello

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