If you’ve been looking forward to Glenn Danzig’s directorial debut, you may want to take a seat before reading further. Early reviews for Verotika, which Danzig wrote, directed, and scored, have drawn parallels between Glenn’s film and The Room.

Yes, Tommy Wiseau’s ultimate masterclass in bad movies. It appears that Verotika might be just as bad. Wow.

Danzig’s film was intended to be a straightforward anthology-style horror film along the likes of Black Sabbath, but there doesn’t appear to be a single scare in the movie. It’s been called unintentionally hilarious by just about every review I’ve read thus far. And for many, this is disappointing news. But for me? I say bring it on.

You see, I’m what I’d like to think of as a bad movie connoisseur. I watch Troll 2, Samurai Cop, and The Room regularly. There’s just something so endearing about a filmmaker putting all of their passions and good intentions into a film, only to have it misfire so horribly.

Or maybe I’m just a bad person for laughing at stuff like this. At this point, I really don’t know.

Regardless, I’ve been eagerly awaiting Verotika because, well, I love Danzig. He’s like an evil cartoon character come to life. He’s angry. He’s got an ego. He’s extremely evil. Probably. And he can never be wrong about anything.

He believes in every single thing he does so much, even if it turns out to be horrible. I can get behind that. Some of it is really amazing, especially his early career. The success of the recent Misfits reunion shows can attest to that fact.

But it doesn’t seem like Verotika is going to be one of his successes. Not in the slightest.

Alex McLevy from The AV Club was lucky enough to see this film. In a piece he wrote for the site, he states:

“God only knows if this movie will ever see the light of day outside of a few film festivals. I sincerely hope it does; everyone should get the chance to see what Danzig’s ego hath wrought. I don’t even want him to be dispirited: This may not be the reaction he was hoping for, but it’s so much better than I could ever have imagined. This is funny on a level that most comedies can’t achieve. It’s that rare fusion of painstakingly expressed love and total lack of ability that deliver the best of bad cinema, and he should be proud. The director of Birdemic wishes his intentions were this pure. All I want to do is watch this movie again, with as many of my friends as I can assemble.”

It’s one thing to state a movie shares similarities with The Room, but Birdemic? That’s a whole realm of horribleness that even I can’t sit through. I tried.

Nick Allen for Vulture described the bizarre mood of the screening. He writes:

“It was right around the second three-minute stripper sequence when I remembered that Danzig did not use the word funny while introducing his taste in horror. And yet the audience around me was roaring with laughter.”

Allen also compared Verotika to Birdemic later on in the review.

Finally, Blake Crane of Film Pulse warns that “The editing of this movie, stringing together mismatched moments that transition with constant fade-outs and no purpose, is unlike anything you’ve ever seen. It’s a spectacle of low-fi non-continuity.”

We don’t know what the future holds for Verotika as of yet, but I’m honestly hoping that it does see the light of day outside of the festival circuit. All of these negative reviews have just made me want to see the movie even more. And now I’m totally convinced that I am, in fact, a very bad person.

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Danzig’s glory days.