Just when we thought the sighting of creepy clowns had passed and it was safe to go back out at night without encountering one of these faced painted hell bastards, we were wrong. Dead wrong. Not only are the clowns back, but one in particular has stepped up his game to murder.
Early Tuesday morning shortly after midnight a man was attacked by a clown in the parking lot of a Torchy’s Tacos in downtown Denver, Colorado. According to witnesses this particular assailant looked like the love child of Captain Spaulding and Freddy Krueger. He wore white face make up with black streaks, and on his gloved hand were knives attached to each finger, each were about two to three inches long in length.
Witnesses explained the fight did not begin in the fast food parking lot, rather it started a few streets away. Allegedly the clown began to verbally threaten his victim, stalking him menacingly from behind down the streets of Denver. He then escalated the situation by beating him as the man tried to escape by fleeing to the abandoned Torchy’s parking lot.
The assailant pursued the man into the parking lot until the victim collapsed in fear of the clown. With a single slash to the throat with his bladed fingers he took the life of the man in front of him. The victim was later identified as 29 year old Brian Lucero. This truly sounds like the things horror movies are made of.
After the viscous attack the clown hopped aboard his scooter and rode away into the night. Fortunately for the town of Denver the assailant was later discovered on the city’s High Activity Location Observation (HALO) camera. He was covered in blood and still wearing the clown face make up as witnesses reported him to be seen wearing earlier. The footage revealed he was trying to dispose of evidence near a Denver Public School. This was later confirmed when police retrieved a bloody knife from the bushes near the school.
The clown was later apprehended when he once again took to his getaway scooter and was spotted riding along the busy Denver Intersection of West Amanda Avenue and Lipan Street. This is when the police made their move and apprehended the suspect in connection with the parking lot murder earlier that night.
Once taken into custody the officers declared the man behind the make up to be 36 year old Christian Lee Gulzow. Guzlow, who has an extensive history in the criminal justice system and earned himself the nickname Diablo, denied the events witnesses reported from the Torchy’s Taco parking lot. Instead he claimed the victim attacked him, and he was merely trying to prevent his scooter from being stolen. When questioned about the cut to the victim’s throat which coroner’s concluded caused Lucero’s death, the clown claimed he must have fallen on one of his spiked bracelets he was wearing on his wrist.
Guzlow is now in custody of the Denver authorities for the investigation of first degree murder.