freddybitch

Good evening my lovely iHorror readers. I’m here tonight to serve up the spirit of bitchhood in horror cinema. First let’s make something clear from the start, there are two types of bitches in the world-

The badass bitch:

  • A bitch that knows she’s a bitch but carries herself well.
  • If you fuck with her, you’re going to hear about it. She doesn’t let people walk all over her.
  • They know what they want and how to get it. They do not fear failure or rejection because they consistently seek out new opportunities.
  • A badass bitch can take care of herself. A man is a bonus to have at your side but does not rely on him.

A few prime examples of these so called bitches in horror cinema are Tiffany from Bride Of Chucky, or Mama Firefly from Devil’s Rejects.

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Then, there’s the “other” kind of bitch. The bitch you want to punch right in the ovaries to keep from procreation. Similar to the badass bitch- they know what they want and how to get it, but it’s in the worst way possible. You all know exactly the type I speak of. Hence forth, I’ve put together a list of horror movie’s biggest fucken bitches that got what they deserved. Don’t any of you deny you cheered out like a gladiator in victory when these asshats finally met their demise. So here I give you 10 of the biggest bitches in horror films!

 

 

 

 

10. Heather Donahue – The Blair Witch Project

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Oh Heather..the obnoxious documentary filmmaker about to meet a shaky-cam, runny-nosed bad end in The Blair Witch Project. Hell bent on finishing this film, she was the absolute immediate cause for not only her death, but her two comrades as well.  Her bossy and manipulative personality led them right into a death trap. Now, normally i would applaud said assertive bitch, but Heather just took it way beyond that and put her friends in danger. Shame on you Heather for breaking the Bitch Code of Conduct!

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9. Elaine Parker Nightmare On Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors

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Kristin’s mom, Elaine Parker who appeared in both Elm Street 3 and 4, was such an insufferable bitch. Rather than listening and being a supportive mother, she quickly shoves her daughter into a mental institution rather than dealing with her problems. Because, in her words, ” She’s just looking for attention and I’m not playing any of her little games.” Parker is one of only two wenches who happens to make it out of this list alive, but in Kristin’s dream world we do get a small taste of Elaine getting her just desserts… Without the bourbon!

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8. Mrs. Carmody – The Mist

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There really is nothing that pisses me off than a nutbag such as this. Mrs. Carmody is one of the patrons trapped inside the grocery store while the mysterious mist lingers outside. She is convinced that the Mist is a punishment from God for mankind’s sin and rounds up a group of naive followers as the days pass inside the establishment to overthrow the “non believers” into the death trap outside.Driven mad by the trauma of the phenomenon is no excuse for her kool aid culty ways and i danced a jig of glee when her crazy ass took a bullet to the noggin.

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7. Dr. Joyce Reardon – Rose Red

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I really wanted to root for Joyce during the first half of this film, but as it progressed her madness and obsession with the Rose Red home got the better of her, putting everyone in harm’s way and even resulting in a few deaths. Her behavior is downright obnoxious, gluttonous and flat out bitchy. I suppose she ended up getting exactly what she wanted at the end. An eternity damned to walk the halls of the pseudo Winchester house.

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6. Mara – Village Of The Damned (1995)

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Mara. The child/ alien hybrid of Midwich certainly ranks up the bitch meter and can give her competitors a run for their money. Sure she looks cute and innocent, but man…. When this kid is crossed, call the army; Because that’s what it may take to stop her tantrums. She is the emotionless ringleader of the peculiar children of Midwich and often barks orders at her fellow mates. It’s Mara’s way or no way. However, I think Christopher Reeve thought otherwise.

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5. Melissa – Friday The 13th: The New Blood

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Oh Melissa. The secondary antagonist in the New Blood was a force to be reckoned with. How these people that had to be in close proximity of this character, didn’t knock her teeth out, is beyond my comprehension. A true mean girl to the bone. Manipulative and sneaky. This bitch tried to play all her cards to get her way. That way ended with an ax to the head, and it was most glorious. I have to add here however, the actress who played Melissa- Susan Jennifer Sullivan was the absolute opposite of her character according to her colleagues and tragically was taken from this world in August of 2009 after a long battle with cancer. R.I.P Susan.

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4. Chris Hargensen- Carrie (1976

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Chris had it all. Beautiful face, a shoo in for prom queen, and John Travolta at her side. Of course, that wasn’t enough. The ringleader to what ultimately drove Carrie White batshit insane, just wouldn’t let up on the poor girl. And Carrie wasn’t the only one to get the Bitch’tude from Hargensen. Pretty much any and everyone who dared object to her thought process felt the all mighty mean girl rage. As if dropping pig blood all over Carrie wasn’t enough, she tried to run her down after. Unsuccessfully of course, and karma bites this bitch in the ass.

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3. Mrs. Deagle – Gremlins

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Ruby Deagle is such an insufferable hag that even though Gremlins isn’t completely considered horror, there isn’t a chance in hell I couldn’t include her. She loves to threaten animals, scream at children, laugh at the misfortunate all while counting her money and cats. You can’t help but cheer the Gremlins on when they finally get a hold of her in the comforts of her home. Sweet revenge tastes delicious.

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2. Annie Wilkes – Misery

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Annie Wilkes is the ultimate cockadoody fan bitch gone crazy. From killing innocent babies to going complete fangirl psycho with her favorite author, she’s a multi-tasker. She holds Paul captive in her home and subjects him to a series of physical and psychological tortures. Wilkes is enraged when she discovers Sheldon killed off Misery at the end of his latest novel and makes him write a new novel bringing Misery back to life, or suffer more torture. Bates played this beautifully and when her character bit the dust, I gave a standing ovation.

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1. Nancy Downs – The Craft

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Oh how I love to hate Nancy. The crazy bitch witch gone mad with power had to be number one on my list. The troubled, mentally unstable girl, became increasingly unhinged and self-absorbed as the film progressed. Nancy would often be rude, aggressive and antisocial. She had few friends and didn’t seem to trust people much; however, considering her upbringing and the way her peers generally treated her, it is hardly surprising. Nancy craved power and recognition from Manon, but had no real respect for the laws of magic, abusing her gifts and turning on her friends. Ultimately, this resulted in her being stripped of her power and going completely insane.

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Now… Just for shits and giggles I wanted to include the biggest man bitch. This guy is rude, disgusting, abusive, and I absolutely LOATHE him.

John Strode – Halloween 6: The Curse Of Michael Myers

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Never in my life have I ever clamoured for a character’s death as I have with this son of a bitch. His face alone annoys me to the ends of the earth. When he finally faced the wrath of Myers, I cheered and cried tears of joy. Enjoy this bastard getting ripped to shreds.

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So there you have it. I do believe I may have broken a record with that Bitch word in this article here for iHorror, and I’m a little proud of that. Did you enjoy this bitchfest? Who would you add to this list? Sound off in the comments. Be sure to check out ihorror’s biggest douchebag list as well. We love to judge and rank the asshole’s of cinema.

 

Now sit back and enjoy this Freddy Krueger compilation with iHorror’s word of the day!

 

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