Thanksgiving is upon us once again. Soon, families will crowd tables to gorge themselves on mashed potatoes, gravy, and of course, turkey, while giving thanks for the many blessings of their lives. Something to add to the list of what to be thankful for this year is when you stab your turkey with a fork, it doesn’t stab back. The same cannot be said for the unfortunate victims of a foul-mouthed killer turkey (named Turkie) in the 2009 Thanksgiving horror-comedy ThanksKilling. A natural reaction to such a film is to raise your hands and utter a good old fashioned WTF. Here are the 10 most WTF moments from ThanksKilling. (SPOILERS, kind of. But, I mean, would spoilers really prevent you from watching a movie about a killer turkey?)
10. The first shot of the film is a close-up of a pilgrim woman’s nipple. We are seeing this nipple because its owner is running scared through the forest with her top wide open. Maybe it was getting hot at the Thanksgiving table? The chesty pilgrim is chased down by Turkie, who compliments her bosom before chopping her up.
9. As our heroes, college students Johnny, Kristen, Billy, Ali, and Darren, drive home for Thanksgiving break, Johnny laments about the broken relationship he has with his father. This is accompanied by a sepia-toned flashback to “all those years ago,” where Johnny looks…exactly the same as he does right now. Some people never age!
8. After their vehicle breaks down, Darren stumbles onto a sign that says Crawberg. He recognizes this as the name of the old pilgrim settlement from years ago. This sign remained in perfect condition for all those centuries, just hanging out on the grass like a film crew member put it there or something. 7. As Darren tells the legend of Crawberg and the curse of an old Indian who knew black magic, another sepia-toned flashback provides the visuals. This time, however, it’s animated. Shoot, why not?
6. When evil Turkie is resurrected in the present day, it is done so rather unceremoniously while he is peed on by a dog.
5. Speaking of bodily functions, when Kristen’s father, the Sheriff, is displeased with the taste of the coffee his wife made and asks if she took a dump in it, she brings him the poop-filled coffee pot to show that yes, indeed she did.
4. As Turkie makes his journey along the rural highway to find and kill our heroes, a car pulls up. The driver inside offers him a ride and gives him the old “ass, gas, or grass” line. Turkie says he’ll take ass. The driver then begins to unbuckle his belt, preparing to have sex with Turkie. You know, as if Turkie weren’t a TURKEY. 3. After blowing this pervert’s head off with a shotgun, Turkie drives away in the man’s car. You know, as if Turkie weren’t a TURKEY.
2. One of our heroes, Ali, likes to have sex a lot. Her latest partner has her bent over doggy style while he works his magic. Turkie lets himself in and proceeds to kill the man, toss him aside, and then finish the job. Ali barely notices the changeup, even with Turkie’s extra small, gravy-flavored condom.
1. Turkie: Master of disguise. After letting himself into the Sheriff’s house by masking his beak with the classic fake nose and glasses gag, Turkie murders the Sheriff and cuts off his face. That’s not where the WTF moment comes into play, however. No, that comes when the surviving kids arrive at his house, and Turkie wears the Sherriff’s face and hat to trick the kids into thinking that the Sheriff is alive and well—and it works. Kristen even bends down to hug him. This movie. For these and so many more WTF moments, make ThanksKilling a tasty portion of your holiday meal this Thanksgiving. In the meantime, check out the trailer below. [youtube id=”nPlg9U5YbY4″ align=”center” mode=”normal” autoplay=”no”]