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Krampus vs. Krampus: A Christmas Horror Story

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It’s that time of year…again. I’m not a huge fan of the holiday season. I have worked way too many holidays in retail to enjoy it anymore. Color me jaded. For those of you like me, you can numb the jolly old pain with some Yule-tide horror movies.  There are two in particular that I’m talking about today: Krampus (2015) and A Christmas Horror Story (2015).

Krampus (the mythical monster, not the movie) has been growing in popularity over the years.

There are Krampus festivals, clothing, and now movies where there really wasn’t any a few years ago. Krampus is the anti-Santa. He’s the devil on Santa’s shoulder, there to punish the wicked and carry them off in a basket, be beaten or disappear altogether. Makes getting coal seem a little better, doesn’t it?

Being a fan of the creepy, kooky, mysterious and sometimes even the ooky, I had to check these movies out myself. Comparing the two side by side, one works and one…well, doesn’t. Krampus (directed by Michael Dougherty) is about a family getting together for the holidays.

This family is unhappy and dysfunctional, so there’s a lot of arguing and bad feelings among them. Max (Emjay  Anthony) is so distraught that he tears up his letter to Santa and it blows into the sky, thereby unleashing the Kringle-demon into his neighborhood. Up until this point this movie is pretty good.

The dialogue is alright, the characters are unlikable, but I think they are supposed to be, and the effects are pretty cool. The place where this movie lost me is the way Krampus works. As I said before, he is there to punish the wicked, but the first person he takes is Beth (Stefania LaVie Owen) Max’s sister.

Besides a baby, she’s one of the most kind and innocent in the bunch. The family gets picked off one-by-one, leading to an ending that may hold an option for a sequel but leaves the audience feeling ripped off.  While the actual figure of Krampus leads to a beautifully ominous silhouette, the behavior of the beast leaves me feeling like this was my lump of coal for Christmas.

With quite the comedy star line-up of Adam Scott (Piranha 3D), Toni Collette (The Sixth Sense), and David Koechner (A Haunted House), you’d think this would be a knee-slapping good time. However, despite a few snickers here and there, the movie seemed empty with unlikeable characters and a villain that just didn’t fit the legend.

On the opposite coin is a hidden gem called A Christmas Horror Story (2015). An anthology of four Christmas stories “narrated” by William Shatner as Dangerous Dan.

These four very different stories bring you a haunted holiday from the four corners of the paranormal. I was stupid excited for this one. The stories range from a haunted school, a changeling, Krampus and zombie elves. While I hate to gloss over three of the stories (and they were amazing, each and every one with a twist ending), I really want to focus on the representation of Krampus.

While Krampus from its namesake movie is scary and shadow-y, it’s almost woodland creature-like. Let us not forget, it just punishes everyone, including babies. Krampus from A Christmas Horror Story is tall, big and white as snow.

It’s face is more recognizable as a representation of evil and he only takes the guilty. To summon Krampus, one must be filled with the opposite of Christmas spirit, an anger or lust for revenge. It’s a very clever way to represent Krampus. The fight scenes are gorgeous and Krampus carries his signature weapon, a hooked chain. The weapon alone is enough to make you soil your holiday britches.

krampus-christmas-horror-compare

 

 

All in all, I think that A Christmas Horror Story takes home the gold medal of holiday horror, and I’m including Santa’s Slay with Bill Goldberg. It has gorgeous effects, great acting, awesome writing and an insanely intimidating Christmas Devil. Therefore, in the case of Krampus v. Krampus, I rule in favor of A Christmas Horror Story. You are free to go.

Before you go, if you’re a holiday horror fan, check out why your elf on the shelf should be replaced.

Creepy Holidays everyone!

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Another Creepy Spider Movie Hits Shudder This Month

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Good spider films are a theme this year. First, we had Sting and then there was Infested. The former is still in theaters and the latter is coming to Shudder starting April 26.

Infested has been getting some good reviews. People are saying that it’s not only a great creature feature but also a social commentary on racism in France.

According to IMDb: Writer/director Sébastien Vanicek was looking for ideas around the discrimination faced by black and Arab-looking people in France, and that led him to spiders, which are rarely welcome in homes; whenever they’re spotted, they’re swatted. As everyone in the story (people and spiders) is treated like vermin by society, the title came to him naturally.

Shudder has become the gold standard for streaming horror content. Since 2016, the service has been offering fans an expansive library of genre movies. in 2017, they began to stream exclusive content.

Since then Shudder has become a powerhouse in the film festival circuit, buying distribution rights to movies, or just producing some of their own. Just like Netflix, they give a film a short theatrical run before adding it to their library exclusively for subscribers.

Late Night With the Devil is a great example. It was released theatrically on March 22 and will begin streaming on the platform starting April 19.

While not getting the same buzz as Late Night, Infested is a festival favorite and many have said if you suffer from arachnophobia, you might want to take heed before watching it.

Infested

According to the synopsis, our main character, Kalib is turning 30 and dealing with some family issues. “He’s fighting with his sister over an inheritance and has cut ties with his best friend. Fascinated by exotic animals, he finds a venomous spider in a shop and brings it back to his apartment. It only takes a moment for the spider to escape and reproduce, turning the whole building into a dreadful web trap. The only option for Kaleb and his friends is to find a way out and survive.”

The film will be available to watch on Shudder starting April 26.

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Part Concert, Part Horror Movie M. Night Shyamalan’s ‘Trap’ Trailer Released

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In true Shyamalan form, he sets his film Trap inside a social situation where we aren’t sure what is going on. Hopefully, there is a twist at the end. Furthermore, we hope it’s better than the one in his divisive 2021 movie Old.

The trailer seemingly gives away a lot, but, as in the past, you can’t rely on his trailers because they are often red herrings and you are being gaslit to think a certain way. For instance, his movie Knock at the Cabin was completely different than what the trailer implied and if you hadn’t read the book on which the film is based it was still like going in blind.

The plot for Trap is being dubbed an “experience” and we aren’t quite sure what that means. If we were to guess based on the trailer, it’s a concert movie wrapped around a horror mystery. There are original songs performed by Saleka, who plays Lady Raven, a kind of Taylor Swift/Lady Gaga hybrid. They have even set up a Lady Raven website to further the illusion.

Here is the fresh trailer:

According to the synopsis, a father takes his daughter to one of Lady Raven’s jam-packed concerts, “where they realize they’re at the center of a dark and sinister event.”

Written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan, Trap stars Josh Hartnett, Ariel Donoghue, Saleka Shyamalan, Hayley Mills and Allison Pill. The film is produced by Ashwin Rajan, Marc Bienstock and M. Night Shyamalan. The executive producer is Steven Schneider.

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Woman Brings Corpse Into Bank To Sign Loan Papers

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Warning: This is a disturbing story.

You have to be pretty desperate for money to do what this Brazilian woman did at the bank to get a loan. She wheeled in a fresh corpse to endorse the contract and she seemingly thought the bank employees wouldn’t notice. They did.

This weird and disturbing story comes via ScreenGeek an entertainment digital publication. They write that a woman identified as Erika de Souza Vieira Nunes pushed a man she identified as her uncle into the bank pleading with him to sign loan papers for $3,400. 

If you’re squeamish or easily triggered, be aware that the video captured of the situation is disturbing. 

Latin America’s largest commercial network, TV Globo, reported on the crime, and according to ScreenGeek this is what Nunes says in Portuguese during the attempted transaction. 

“Uncle, are you paying attention? You must sign [the loan contract]. If you don’t sign, there’s no way, as I cannot sign on your behalf!”

She then adds: “Sign so you can spare me further headaches; I can’t bear it any longer.” 

At first we thought this might be a hoax, but according to Brazilian police, the uncle, 68-year-old Paulo Roberto Braga had passed away earlier that day.

 “She attempted to feign his signature for the loan. He entered the bank already deceased,” Police Chief Fábio Luiz said in an interview with TV Globo. “Our priority is to continue investigating to identify other family members and gather more information regarding this loan.”

If convicted Nunes could be facing jail time on charges of fraud, embezzlement, and desecration of a corpse.

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