Nine men have played everyone’s favorite momma’s boy since 1980, and though we have love for them all, who stood out as the cream of the Voorhees crop?

I’m going to break it down scientifically, Jason-by-Jason to determine who stands out as the definitive Camp Crystal Lake killer.

Ari Lehman — Friday the 13th

The Friday saga began with flashbacks to little Jason’s untimely demise, and the shitstorm it set off with Mommy Dearest (respect), but Lehman’s contribution to the legend is a topic which certainly seems to anger up the blood of Friday fans. True, Lehman never wielded a machete, but he did sit in Tom Savini’s effects chair, got in the water and pulled Adrienne King under and has since made the convention circuit his domain and pays musical homage to the iconic character he helped put on the map as the first Jason.

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Warrington Gillette — Friday the 13th Part 2

You have to dig Gillette’s take on Voorhees. His was the first Jason-as-killer, and he played it to not-so-sure-of-himself perfection. This Jason was new to the game and a bit awkward in his search for rhythm. Gillette’s battle with Paul and Ginny revealed some yet-to-be-honed battle tactics that left him a bit worse for wear, but he was down not out. Far from it. He had heart. The heart of a hitman. He did avenge Mother, after all. And was an equal opportunity slasher.

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Richard Brooker — Friday the 13th 3D

Alright, dude was still human and the chase scenes got it done. They were unsettling. Why? I’m the kind of cat who puts myself in the shoes of the characters for effect, and that was one dude I didn’t want on my tail (not that my tail is as nice as Dana Kimmell’s). However, Brooker’s Jason was a bit more comfortable with his becoming. It wasn’t old hat quite yet but he’d done some hacking and breathed easier in that particular skin. There was something of a calm in how Brooker went about his 3D business, and, of course, he taunted the living hell out of Kimmell’s Chris by lifting his mask just long enough for her to know he wasn’t done with her by a damn sight.

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Ted White — The Final Chapter

The fourth Friday installment featured the last Jason to run before Derek Mears declared “It’s alright, I’m takin’ it back.” White took his time with kills, which in an odd way, were almost intimate as though this Voorhees savored every final breath of his victims. White’s version put a cork(screw) in Crispin Glover’s audition for the Solid Gold dancers and must have been like a pig in slop hearing Erich Anderson’s Rob bellow “He’s killing me!”

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Tom Morga — A New Beginning

Standing in for Roy, Morga put ’em down at a healthy clip, dispensed with one victim using a kinda-sorta ode to Kevin Bacon, scored major points for the tourniquet and even got Tommy Jarvis to at least think about it. Not a fantastic Jason, but as Adam Sandler would say, “Not too shabby.”

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C.J. Graham — Jason Lives

Graham was a man on a mission and employed the incensed speedwalking to prove it. Disgruntled though he was, Graham was a bit on the stiff side, dare I say jerky with some of his movements, which certainly had what we’ve come to know as the “zombie Jason” feel to them. Granted, by this time in the series, we all understood quite well that Jason was no longer human, but if you dig Graham’s Voorhees above all others, you’re hardly a farthead, it just wasn’t for me.

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Kane Hodder — A New Blood, Jason Takes Manhattan, Jason Goes to Hell, Jason X

The only man to portray the Camp Crystal Lake marauder more than once, Hodder certainly made an impression early. From that first, slow jaunt out of the lake (which revealed part of Jason’s spine through a tattered jacket) to hulking about Manhattan to an appearance on the Arsenio Hall Show to the intensity of a man who just couldn’t wait to get to work, Hodder was spot on as Voorhees in The New Blood through Jason X. Now, before anyone goes all “Hodder was a ‘zombie Jason,’ too!” let me point out that Hodder possessed something akin to John Carpenter’s description of Nick Castle’s Shape in the original Halloween — grace and fluidity of movement. Not nearly as rigid. Mindless killer, yes, but not mechanical.

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Ken Kirzinger — Freddy vs Jason

Kirzinger’s goalie was pissed, yes but it just wasn’t my bucket of blood. Highly entertaining, don’t get me wrong, but Kirzinger’s Jason was almost oafish and we all know the star of that particular show was Mr. Krueger and his delightfully venomous one-liners.

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Derek Mears — Friday the 13th (2009)

Mears looked into the psychology of children who’d lost a parent at a young age and survivalist skills to mold his masked madman, and damned if he didn’t nail it. Mears’ Jason has been accused of being too bright, but in my estimation Mears’ performance was simply savvy. Everything his Jason did had a purpose and made sense. Mears had a nice little don’t fuck with me, I won’t fuck with you vibe goin’, but when that was violated, he did what he had to do. To survive. Mears’ Voorhees moved with direction and quiet yet efficient rage.

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All that said, my criteria were simple:

AUTHENTICY: Did I buy the performance as Jason?

LASTING EFFECT: Was said performance memorable?

UNIQUENESS: Was the portrayal singularly theirs?

Earning a medal machete for third…

Brooker: We already touched on how Brooker took what Gillette had done and expanded upon it by seeming more at ease with stalking and killing, but Brooker brought a cool intensity to his Jason that was effectively frightening and exhibited almost Hans Landa-level pleasure out of playfully fucking with taunting Chris. For this, Brooker kept his eye on the prize and places third.

Ain’t nothin’ wrong with silver…

Mears: Remakes often get a bad rap, and just as frequently aren’t given much of a chance out of the gate. Derek Mears certainly experienced the gauntlet of old school Friday fans who were appalled at a running Jason, but for my money Mears was the most unique Jason we’ve seen in a long time and certainly believable as a terrifying killer not to be trifled with.

And the golden machete goes to…

Hodder: Kane may not have been in some of the more, as much as I hate to say it, popular versions of the Friday franchise, but declaring him a “zombie Jason” is exaggerated, in my estimation. Hodder was determined and angry much like Mears, but it was Hodder’s intense, heavy breathing that set him apart. One look at Hodder’s Jason and you knew your ass was had. To call Hodder’s Jason driven would be the definition of understatement. The man was jacked and simply could not wait to unleash hell.

Agree? Disagree? Make your case in the comments section below.