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10 Insane Titles for Horror Movies

Published

8 years ago

August 14, 2016

I love the craziness that goes into the horror genre. Sometimes it’s subtle. Sometimes it’s seriously in your face. But possibly the most absurd thing about the horror genre is that it boasts some of the most insane movie titles ever. Check out these really crazy ones – some are quite popular, and some are known for name alone. Let’s take a look.

C.H.U.D. (1984)

A bizarre series of murders in New York City seems to point toward the existence of a race of mutant cannibals living under the streets.

While the name may not seem that insane based on the acronym alone, once you know what it stands for, you’ll understand. Take a deep breath. Ready? C.H.U.D. stands for: Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers. Yes. That’s real.

S.I.C.K. Serial Insane Clown Killer (2003)

A couple of friends are chased by a killer clown in the woods during a week-end.

This acronym is entirely stupid and does not even attempt to make grammatical sense. C.H.U.D. also at least had the sense to leave the title as the acronym alone. This movie just combines it into one long and ridiculous title.

Sometimes Aunt Martha Does Dreadful Things (1971)

Stanley and Paul, a pair of friends on the run from the law, rent a house in the suburbs, where they decide the best way to lay low is for Paul to dress as a woman and pretend to be Stanley’s Aunt Martha. Not too long after the pair move into their new home, Paul suddenly murders a young woman Stanley brings home with him. Paul’s violent tendencies continue to spin out of control, and soon nobody who comes near is safe from him.

So, from the title of this film, I can already just assume that Aunt Martha is going to do Dreadful things – but if it’s only sometimes, does that mean it may or may not happen during the course of the film? I guess you’ll have to watch it to find out. I’m not going to watch this, by the way.

Gore-met Zombie Chef From Hell (1986)

A cannibal opens up a seafood restaurant, and kills and cooks people to serve to his customers.

No words. Insane. How is this real?

I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990)

When a motorbike gang kills an occultist, the evil spirit he was summoning inhabits a damaged bike. The bike is then bought and restored, but reveals its true nature when it tries to exact vengance on the gang, and anyone else who gets in its way.

Uh…okay. What? Who thinks of these titles? I usually try to come up with something of my own to add while writing these lists. On this one, though, I’m at a loss.

Monsturd (2003)

A serial killer mutates with a chemical inside a sewer, to become a monster made of human waste just as the FBI and police are onto him.

I’d say holy shit, but there does not seem to be anything even remotely holy about this in the slightest. Not one bit.

Killer Condom (1996)

The plot takes place in New York, and in the present. In a Hotel called “Quicky” a professor blackmails a student of his into having sex with him. But when the professor puts on a condom, the carnivorous condom bites off his penis and disappears. Detective Mackaroni who gets the case thinks that the college girl just bit off her teacher’s penis! Mackaroni goes to the motel himself to check out the crime scene, in the lobby he finds a gigolo named Bill and he asks him to follow him to crime room, there the two men attempt to have sex when they are suddenly interrupted by the attack of a killer condom.

If a penis doesn’t get bitten off during a horror movie, is it really a horror movie?

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? (1964)

Jerry falls in love with a stripper he meets at a carnival. Little does he know that she is the sister of a gypsy fortune teller whose predictions he had scoffed at earlier. The gypsy turns him into a zombie and he goes on a killing spree.

The absurdity of this title is heightened tenfold by the exclamation points and question mark at the end. I’m not sure exactly what this means – is the title asking us something? Or is it just confused? Now I’m confused.

Sssssss (1973)

A college student becomes lab assistant to a scientist who is working on a serum that can transform humans into snakes.

While the title does make sense given the plot, it does not make it any less insane. Come on. Snakes on a Plane is titled better than this one, and that’s saying a lot.

Blood Orgy of the She-Devils (1973)

Lorraine and Mark enter the world of witchcraft where Mara foretells the future and helps them remember their past lives. When a series of mysterious murders begin to occur, they turn to Dr. Helsford for advice.

I give up.

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Movies

Trailer for ‘The Exorcism’ Has Russell Crowe Possessed

Published

8 hours ago

April 25, 2024

Timothy Rawles

The latest exorcism movie is about to drop this summer. It’s aptly titled The Exorcism and it stars Academy Award winner turned B-movie savant Russell Crowe. The trailer dropped today and by the looks of it, we are getting a possession movie that takes place on a movie set.

Just like this year’s recent demon-in-media-space film Late Night With the Devil, The Exorcism happens during a production. Although the former takes place on a live network talk show, the latter is on an active sound stage. Hopefully, it won’t be entirely serious and we’ll get some meta chuckles out of it.

The film will open in theaters on June 7, but since Shudder also acquired it, it probably won’t be long after that until it finds a home on the streaming service.

Crowe plays, “Anthony Miller, a troubled actor who begins to unravel while shooting a supernatural horror film. His estranged daughter, Lee (Ryan Simpkins), wonders if he’s slipping back into his past addictions or if there’s something more sinister at play. The film also stars Sam Worthington, Chloe Bailey, Adam Goldberg and David Hyde Pierce.”

Crowe did see some success in last year’s The Pope’s Exorcist mostly because his character was so over-the-top and infused with such comical hubris it bordered on parody. We will see if that is the route actor-turned-director Joshua John Miller takes with The Exorcism.

'Civil War' Review: Is It Worth Watching?

News

Win a Stay at The Lizzie Borden House From Spirit Halloween

Published

10 hours ago

April 25, 2024

Timothy Rawles

Spirit Halloween has declared that this week marks the start of spooky season and to celebrate they are offering fans a chance to stay at the Lizzie Borden House with so many perks Lizzie herself would approve.

The Lizzie Borden House in Fall River, MA is claimed to be one of the most haunted houses in America. Of course one lucky winner and up to 12 of their friends will find out if the rumors are true if they win the grand prize: A private stay in the notorious house.

“We are delighted to work with Spirit Halloween to roll out the red carpet and offer the public a chance to win a one-of-a-kind experience at the infamous Lizzie Borden House, which also includes additional haunted experiences and merchandise,” said Lance Zaal, President & Founder of US Ghost Adventures.

Fans can enter to win by following Spirit Halloween‘s Instagram and leaving a comment on the contest post from now through April 28.

The prize also includes:

An exclusive guided house tour, including insider insight around the murder, the trial, and commonly reported hauntings

A late-night ghost tour, complete with professional ghost-hunting gear

A private breakfast in the Borden family dining room

A ghost hunting starter kit with two pieces of Ghost Daddy Ghost Hunting Gear and a lesson for two at US Ghost Adventures Ghost Hunting Course

The ultimate Lizzie Borden gift package, featuring an official hatchet, the Lizzie Borden board game, Lily the Haunted Doll, and America’s Most Haunted Volume II

Winner’s choice of a Ghost Tour experience in Salem or a True Crime experience in Boston for two

“Our Halfway to Halloween celebration provides fans an exhilarating taste of what’s to come this fall and empowers them to start planning for their favorite season as early as they please,” said Steven Silverstein, CEO of Spirit Halloween. “We have cultivated an incredible following of enthusiasts who embody the Halloween lifestyle, and we’re thrilled to bring the fun back to life.”

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Spirit Halloween is also preparing for their retail haunted houses. On Thursday, August 1 their flagship store in Egg Harbor Township, NJ. will officially open to start off the season. That event usually draws in hordes of people eager to see what new merch, animatronics, and exclusive IP goods will be trending this year.

'Civil War' Review: Is It Worth Watching?

Movies

’28 Years Later’ Trilogy Taking Shape With Serious Star Power

Published

11 hours ago

April 25, 2024

Timothy Rawles

Danny Boyle is revisiting his 28 Days Later universe with three new films. He will direct the first, 28 Years Later, with two more to follow. Deadline is reporting that sources say Jodie Comer, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, and Ralph Fiennes have been cast for the first entry, a sequel to the original. Details are being kept under wraps so we don’t know how or if the first original sequel 28 Weeks Later fits into the project.

**Jodie Comer, Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Ralph Fiennes**

Boyle will direct the first movie but it’s unclear which role he will take on in the subsequent films. What is known is Candyman (2021) director Nia DaCosta is scheduled to direct the second film in this trilogy and that the third will be filmed immediately afterward. Whether DaCosta will direct both is still unclear.

Alex Garland is writing the scripts. Garland is having a successful time at the box office right now. He wrote and directed the current action/thriller Civil War which was just knocked out of the theatrical top spot by Radio Silence’s Abigail.

There is no word yet on when, or where, 28 Years Later will start production.